Greetings! Many of you were no doubt overwrought about my possible whereabouts this past week. Yes, slaying Kings in Canada can be quite dangerous, especially when considering the monstrous killer whales, man-flesh desiring grizzly bears, seals that will bite your dong off when you’re urinating off the bow of the boat, bald eagles that would […]

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Hey Razzball Nation, I am Max, your new fantasy scapegoat guru. I will soon be writing over on the basketball section as well, lending JB a hand on a weekly basis. Now you guys don’t know me. Those annoying voices in your head might be asking, “Who the F is this guy? Is he trustworthy?”. Razzballers you are right, my apologies, let me introduce myself. I play way too much fantasy, I mean if you’re on this site you do too. Been playing since 2005 when I was a mere toddler (high school basketball star). I’ve got a degree in science, and finishing up another degree in finance all the way up in big ol’ Canada where Celine Dion is eating poutine and chasing it down with maple syrup.

Note: Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues here

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Well, this is it, the last required information dump (hehe, dump) for the masses in preparation for your 2015 Fantasy Football Draft. And here it is, the auction values have been released. But I’m guessing you already knew that, because, of well, ^. For those of you who have never played in an auction draft, or for those of you who do nothing but make it rain when you here the words Jamaal and Charles in the same sentence, I’ll go over some pointers so as to facilitate moderate to heavy alcohol consumption without the fear of drafting Mark Sanchez.

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Well, here we go again. Another ACL bites the dust, adding Kelvin Benjamin to a list that already includes Silas Redd, Jeff Heuerman, Ryan Clady, Dante Fowler, Travis Long, Ty Powell, Brandon Harris, Louis Delmas, Shaun Suisham, Stephen Hill, Zach Sudfeld, Sal Capaccio, Reshard Cliett, JaCorey Shepherd, annnnnnnnd Brandon Person. That’s honestly a pretty impressive team, one that could probably do well against the Browns. Even moreso with actual functioning ACL’s. Honestly though, on days like this, you wonder how players would be able to fare with an owner-driven 18-game season when they can’t go two weeks of preseason without some body part exploding. No doubt, this is a downright grueling game, but when Kelvin Benjamin, an up-and-coming wide receiver is lost for the year, well, you can’t just say “shucks” and move on. Well, I mean, you sorta have to, but you don’t have to like it. Especially if your a Panthers fan. Nope. You just say “F*ck!” and drink copious amounts of alcohol…

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I had a scheduled laid out for the preseason where I would write four different streaming columns on quarterbacks, tight ends, defenses and kickers.  To be honest, though, if I were to write about just defense or kickers, it would be about 150 words total, which isn’t even enough to get the article picked up on Google News.  Kickers and defenses just don’t make good streamers.

So instead, let’s combine the two positions that mean nothing and put them into one article.  If you can’t tell by the headline, I hate playing in leagues that use team defenses and kickers.  It’s 2015, bro.  Get rid of them in your league.  It’s the old-school thought that we don’t want to venture into unknown territory.  That’s why you see resistance to auctions at first, or even two-QB leagues.  Team defenses and kickers have been a part of fantasy forever, and leagues continue to keep them around.

Why?

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As I’ve been alluding to in some past content, or peppering, if you will, and I might (because steak?), the projections, like winter, were coming. And since winter is here (in the Game of Thrones sense, not the literal sense), there is no more alluding anymore folks. DEATH TO ALL ALLUSIONS. Because someone once told me that time is a flat circle. Everything we’ve done or will do, we’re going to do over and over again. Alright-alright-alright. In this regard, I wouldn’t mind if this day kept repeating itself. Because of steak, the end of allusions, and the arrival of our 2015 Fantasy Football Projections. Could use more boobs though. I’ll look into that. (Life story bro.)

Now, before we get to the good stuff, I just wanted to go over a few things. First, these projections (for over 500 players!) aren’t just some random numbers put into random places for random people to look at. They are based on career performance, last year’s performance, the player’s durability, and so those three things are mixed, stirred, shaken, whichever you prefer, and then the math happens. I then take what the math did and put my own touches on it (legal touches), altering the numbers a bit here and there. Granted, we aren’t the big boys like ESPN, Yahoo, and CBS, but I’m very happy with our system this year. (And I should note that we beat out all three last season in ranking accuracy, including many other major outlets.) Second, you probably won’t see an exact correlation with our projections and our rankings. There will be matches, for sure, but think of the projections as a median for what we think the player will produce. While I went with a more conservative approach here, don’t be surprised if there’s a 10% (or close to) swing in either direction for some players who either end up over-performing or under-performing. Just the nature of the beast. And these projections will be updated if there are any major injuries or other shifting events, like Trent Richardson not sucking any more, and there will also be minor edits at least once a week, so be sure to check in here and there.

Note: I’d like to thank Rudy, for whom this would not be possible. I’m just going to assume dark wizardry was involved, and just keep my mouth shut. I shall sacrifice several Twix bars in your honor!

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Doug Martin made fantasy owners warm and fuzzy (sorta NSFW) in 2012. After being selected by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with the 31st overall pick in the NFL Draft, Martin exploded for 1,926 total yards on 319 carries and 49 receptions. He tallied 12 combined touchdowns and ended as the No. 3 running back in standard scoring. Then, 2013 Doug Martin happened. To say Martin was a disappointment is an understatement. Fantasy drafters were selecting him as the No. 2 running back off the board, right behind Adrian Peterson. Before Martin was shut down for the year due to a shoulder injury, he rushed 127 times for 456 yards. He caught 12 balls for 66 yards and only scored one combined touchdown. He ended up scoring 0.8 fantasy points more than Shonn Greene and 2.1 less than Brandon Bolden. So what happened?

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So, wouldn’t it be cool if you could take on some of your favorite contributors and all of the Razzball readers/commenters in one huge Free Fantasy Football League? IT WOULD BE COOL YO. That’s why we made this possible. And why it was in all caps. Welcome to the 2015 Fantasy Football RCL! Where all of the Razzballers get to hang out, talk some football, and compete against each other in the game we all love. While we can’t create a single 500 person league as of yet, since the technology has yet to be invented, what we can do is create multiple 12-person leagues and pit them all against each other. If you don’t like that, well, you can be the one to wait for the future to come. So enjoy those dragons with lasers, wearing leather and blasting Daft Punk. ENJOY IT. However, if you are not such a timey prude, join us for some fantasy football funnage. Totally a word. So I present to you: the 2015 RCL Fantasy Football Season, with prizes!

Before you get started, I know that some of you out there may have never played fantasy football before. That’s okay! Razzball has a Beginners Fantasy Football Guide just for you. Maybe you’re a seasoned veteran, well, we have a 2015 Fantasy Football Draft Kit that’s being updated everyday, be sure check it out multiple times. (That’s what she said.) And can’t think of a team name? Check out our Fantasy Football Team Name Generator. Need some rankings? Oh, we got some Fantasy Football Rankings for ya! Now, let’s get to the good stuff…

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In my last post, The Legend of the Bid Button, and the first in this series, I examined and explained my strategy for approaching auction drafts. The key stat that I rely upon is “points per dollar” (PPD). How many fantasy points a player is expected to get me for each auction dollar I spend on him. If you have not read that post, please take ten minutes and do so. For those that have already done so and are back for round two, welcome back. While we have ten minutes to kill as we wait for everyone else to catch up, here is a link to a sub-five minute speed run of Super Mario Brothers. Feel free to watch it twice. I know these guys use tools to help accomplish this, but as someone who played this game back when it first came out, this is still pretty awesome.

Ok, now let’s get back to our regularly scheduled programming. I’d like to take a look back at last season’s PPD heroes and zeros…

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There was some more preseason football to be played this past Saturday, including news that Philip Rivers will be having at least eight more children in the San Diego area spread out over the next four years. That is, of course, based on his average of having five kids per month, but I should note that my math has a history of being a tad off. But, hey, remember when he was getting traded to the Titans for sure? While the signing itself is, well, a good sign for the Chargers on the field, I’m not sure if this has any bearing on impending the stadium situation that is falling wayside, straight into the dumpster (and I mean the actual deal, not them moving to Carson, which I know can be confusing as both are pretty much dumpster fires) Other than that, we had the debut of Jameis Winston, some quality trolling by Chip Kelly on which quarterback is starting in Week 1, and other football happenings. So let’s get started…

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Amen.

I just noticed this, but even though he's really injured, Niles Paul seems like he's looking at my "Amen" right there in total agreement. Actually, probably not. I'm probably just drunk.

I just noticed this, but even though he’s really injured, Niles Paul seems like he’s looking at my “Amen” right there in total agreement. Actually, probably not. I’m probably just drunk.

Or if you’re an atheist like me, no men. Or maybe that’s being sexist. Honestly, who cares? With an offseason full of deflated balls and, well, actually, come to think of it, that’s all I can really remember. Okay, I guess it wasn’t as bad as the last offseason, where people were punched and seasons of some high profile players were already lost, you know, because of said punchings… I guess talking about your/my/Tom Brady’s balls isn’t the worst outcome in the history of man. We’ll just call it a close second. And so it was, six games of football were played last night. Sure, it’s just the first week of the preseason (with more games to come this Saturday!), but any football is good football. And while the notes you’re used to won’t go into regular season mode until the NFL does, I’m still here to overview what happened last night. So shall we dance our first dance? Don’t worry, it’s cool, I already established no men. (Did that land? Hmm, maybe I’m in preseason mode too…)

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As fantasy football and fantasy baseball start to overlap, you can start to notice some similarities between the two.  You can wait on the quarterback position, just like you can wait on pitching.  Power is at a premium in baseball, as is a running back who has the job to himself.  But perhaps no comparison is as true as a tight end in football is just like a shortstop in baseball (well, kickers and catchers are pretty damn close). In fantasy baseball, shortstop is basically a fantasy wasteland.  You either have Troy Tulowitzki or Carlos Correa or you have nothing.  The same goes for tight end in football, too.  Last year, it was either Jimmy Graham (and his then-first-round tag), Julius Thomas, or Rob Gronkowski.  After that, there wasn’t much at all to get excited about.  Injuries plagued Graham and Thomas, leaving Gronkowski as the best option at the position, as he dominated the competition similar to the way that Tulo does when he’s healthy.

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