On a night of this caliber (or calibre if you’re from the other side of the Atlantic), it was really hard to find something that would make girls scream their damn fool heads off like the fab 4 just walked onto the Ed Sullivan show. Trust me, I searched far and wide. The closest I could come was Brady’s hair from circa the ‘damn, he fine’ era. Very boyishly charming and the quintessential anti-foppish response to being clean cut and dandy to make everyone think you’re a gentleman. Well our main story of Thursday Night Football, Julian Edelman, did try to pull off something similar but lets face facts: Pearl Jam > Creed > Edelman. I know it really hurts, bro, but not everyone can pull off the ‘down with the man…whoever that is’ look, especially not a chiseled athlete. It just doesn’t suit you (but nice Beatles shirt!). What does suit Edelman, though, you ask? Brady and in particular his love for small white guys running a quick slant. Know what suits PPR owners? Being owners of Julian, of course. Edelman finished the night with 13 receptions and 78 yards on 18 targets, good for an obscene 20.8 points in our Razzball Commenter Leagues settings. That’s sans touchdowns which could also pretty much sum up this game. With the Pats missing three major targets, Edelman stepped up and…well, he didn’t really do much. I think he had a couple of first down catches. Yeah…pretty much that and a buncha 3-5 yard pops. A 6.0 ypc average would be good…if it were yards per carry and not catch. Ugh, this game was pretty nasty and the weather didn’t help. But let’s stay focused (that was more for me than you). Edelman is going to be a low-end WR2 for the next few weeks for some reasons I’ll discuss later on. If you somehow slept through your first waiver wire adding period and so did the rest of your league mates, well, your league sucks and go pick Julian up. Here’s what else I saw on Thursday Night Football for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…
Danny Amendola – It was rumored all week that he was going to miss this game tonight. Yeah, ok, fine, sure. Then there were rumors he’d be out until week 4. Um, yeah, not as ok but we’ll make due. Now there’s rumor he could be out for a full 6 weeks. Not ok dude! His injuries have never been nagging so I was disinclined to slap the ‘injury prone’ tag on him. Now I’ll do it with gusto, hard, and directly onto his already broken groin. Yes, I just touched Danny’s groin in anger. You made me do this, ‘dola!
Geno Smith – The good: it looks like he had plenty of time to make throws. The bad: he never seemed to throw the damn ball. The good: it was clear he was looking through all his reads and not panicked. The bad: he never seemed to throw the damn ball. The good: he stuck it out even when the pressure closed in. The bad: he never seemed to throw the damn ball. The good: when he did throw the ball, he seemed capable of being accurate enough to move the chains. The bad: his receivers can’t catch the damn ball. Geno looked like a rookie but not one who collapsed under pressure at any moment. He’ll need to work on making quicker decisions but he also needs some more help surrounding him to be successful ROS.
Rob Gronkowski – No news here, really, which is good news. They’ve been saying all along he’d be back week 3. After the passing night the Pats had, they’re gonna need him. For the two teams I have him that are losing, I need him. Come party with me, Gronk!
Tom Brady – Finished the night 19/39. After reading the 13 receptions by Welker…I mean Amendola…I mean Edelman, you get the sense that the whole ‘catch the ball’ thing didn’t work out for the rest of Brady and company on Thursday night. Let me tell you, Tom was angry and let me tell you this part deux, that guys cute when he’s angry. Part trois? Brady’s always cute, angry or not! Which gives you a hint about next week’s buy column. It may feature Brady and the word ‘BUY’ near his name. I’m just as excited as you are to find out.
Chris Ivory – He looked great, going 12 for 52 on the ground. Then he fumbled. And we saw him no more. I’m not throwing the towel in on him yet but we’re relying on the Jets to realize what to do with a player at a skill position that actually has the ‘skill’ part. It’s a newfound thing, much akin to a baby boy finding his pee-pee for the first time. He has no idea what it does or why it’s there but he’s happy to have it. Hopefully the Jets stop playing with their pee-pee in week 3 and start playing Ivory more.
Bilal Powell – He looked like Shonn Greene but with intelligence. That’s both a slap in the face and a compliment. I’ve never hated Powell, he’s just not a very dynamic player. There are a lot of guys like him in the NFL at RB – Ballard, BJGE, etc – and there’s nothing wrong with them. Except when they’re blocking us from enjoying a fun player to watch, of course.
Aaron Dobson – Had a touchdown that your grandmother in her wheelchair could catch and pretty much dropped everything else. He’s officially Aaron Dropson. That’s both his ability and what you can probably do with him in shallower leagues.
Kenbrell Thompkins – Joined in on the drop parade with Dropson. Hrm…Dropkins? Eh, doesn’t work. Needless to say, the Pats are gonna be happy when ‘dola/Gronk return.
Stephen Hill – Had 86 on 4 receptions and a really bad fumble that swung the momentum to the Pats early. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Every time Stephen brings us to the top of the Hill, he pushes us back down to his bottom.
Stevan Ridley – Only had 40 yards but dwarfed any other challenger in carries at 16. The next closest was 4 by Blount, but it was hard to tell if he was trying to run the ball or if he was a frightened old man walking his groceries briskly back to the car while people tried to help him. Despite the poor numbers, it looks like Ridley isn’t fully encased in Bill’s dog house. I’d still pick up Bolden for next week, though, just in case.
David Wilson – Had zero to do with the game but the Giants still aren’t calling him the starter heading into Sunday. I’m just reiterating the BUY call I did back here. It’s always darkest before the dawn…and with your head in the oven. Cut that out! You don’t even have a gas stove!
Clyde Gates – Had a couple of good catches but the reality is he’d be an afterthought if Holmes were 100% and Kerley were playing. Some of his drops were so momentum-crushingly criminal, no Bonnie was needed.
Mark Sanchez – Not game relevant – and when was Sanchize ever game relevant anyway? – but it looks like he’s out for the year with a torn labrum based on a certain coach’s call to start him in the 4th quarter of a pre-season game. This same coach is still giving more touches to Powell than Ivory. Now I’m not trying to say they’re the same thi…wait, yes I am. Rex Ryan, the grass isn’t brown and it doesn’t smell like a fermented burrito in Foxborough. Pull your head out of there before you suffocate. This is why the Jets can’t have nice things.