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Welcome once again my fantasy friends to The Razzball Lounge. The Lounge is the place we fake football scribes gather to talk the trash, tease the Tehol and drown the sorrows in early morning Bloody Mary’s – hey bartender, make it spicy and put a pickle in that! JB, that’s not a pickle. This week in the lounge it’s our annual Razzballin’ Halloweeny Spooktacular. That means you drink anytime someone screams “Ghostbusters” and also explains why Sky is dressed as a pregnant nun and snorting crushed up Smarties off the bar. “Hey guys, anyone want a bump?” Sky loves his sugar high and just can’t kick the habit. See what I did there? *high fives no one* Dropping quarters at the jukebox Jay Wrong plays “The Monster Mash” for the 23rd time. “Check out my Jennifer Lawrence costume!” *bottle smashes above head* It should be noted that Jay’s “Jennifer Lawrence” costume consists only of a brown wig and yoga pants. One of these things he wears on a regular basis. Locked in the ladies room the one and only Tehol Beddict, clad in his 6th grade He-Man Masters of the Universe costume, is sharing his “fun-size Snickers” with this handsome lady. “I thought she was dressed as a member of the Village People? Really.” And standing here at the pool table in my Edward Scissorhands get-up is your humble-but-nonetheless-festive Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, fires ball through window, cuts face* “You try to shoot with scissors for hands!”   Here be the Week 9 Fantasy Frankensteins. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

 

Jam or Cram: Terrelle Pryor, QB, Oakland Raiders

Availability: 64% Yahoo, 75% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 14.92 fantasy points. Pryor completed 10-of-19 passes for 88 yards and two interceptions. Oh, he also opened the game with a 93-yard touchdown run. The longest run by a QB in NFL history.

$$$ Value: $8. With six teams on a bye, it’s that time of year to spend some saved up waiver bucks on things other than  kickers. Why are you spending on kickers?

The Gist: Pryor’s passing accuracy won’t be confused with Peyton Manning anytime soon. However, Manning is on a bye this week and Pryor get’s the Eagles. He’s the perfect one week wonder. Pryor may not look great with just five passing touchdowns in six games this season, but the points he scores on the ground add up to fantasy wins. Do you want to look pretty or do you want to win? *takes off tiara, slowly walks away*

The X-File: Quick, name the top wide receiver on the Raiders? Fred Biletnikoff? No, disembodied Razzballer voice, it’s Denarius Moore. Here, have a fun-size Kit-Kat.

Jam it or Cram it: Starting Pryor against an Eagles defense that is averaging opposing QBs to score over 16 points a game is a scary matchup. For Philly fans. Pryor won’t light up the passing stat board, but has two 100 yard rushing games this year and two others with over 50. Need a bye week filinski? Grab Pryor. Did you think I was going to write about Thad Lewis? JAM 

 

Jam or Cram: Mike Tolbert, RB, Carolina Panthers

Availability: 79% Yahoo, 83% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 12.40 fantasy points. Tolbert had seven carries for 35 yards and four catches for 29 yards and a TD last Thursday night.

$$$ Value: $4. I might consider dropping two $2 bills on Tolbert. Why do I have a pocketful of Jefferson’s? They only accept them at this fine establishment.

The Gist: Tolbert is one of  those ol’ fashioned bowling ball bruisers that should be playing fullback in the 70′s. I just had a Rocky Bleir flashback. Google him. However, it’s 2013 and Tolbert may get some goal line work against the Falcons this week.

The X-File: DeAngelo Williams is the starter and old friend Jonathan Stewart is about to stagger back in the picture.

Jam it or Cram it: Hard to roll with anyone in the Carolina backfield right now. You should have listened to me a month ago when I jammed on Andre Ellington. If you snoozed on Juke you can either jump in your hot tub time machine or take a chance on Tolbert. Meet me in the hot tub. Wear swim trunks this time. CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: Marvin Jones, WR, Cincinnati Bengals 

Availability: 75% Yahoo, 80% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 36.20 fantasy points. Jones caught eight passes for 122 yards and four touchdowns. Yes, FOUR touchdowns.

$$$ Value: $15. If you want him it’s going to take over $20 to get him. I spent my last 20 on this.

The Gist: A man named Marvin put up the second best fantasy scoring day of the year on Sunday. We salute you, Mr. Jones, but Bob Dylan’s not writing any songs about you. Jones does have 15 receptions, 250 yards and 6 TDs the past three weeks and the Red Rifle Andy Dalton is looking his way.

The X-File: Jones only played 18 snaps on Sunday.

Jam it or Cram it: Jones would have been Sunday’s fantasy stud were it not for the Megatron performance by Calvin Johnson. Jones will be one of the most stalked waiver wire wonders this week. I see him more of a one-hit wonder. Think of it this way: Megatron is Prince. Marvin Jones is Ray Parker Jr. GHOSTBUSTERS! CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: Tim Wright, WR/TE, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

Availability: 95% Yahoo, 97% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 10.80 fantasy points. Wright caught five passes for 48 yards and a touchdown last week.

$$$ Value: $3. Multi-position availability is valuable. Playing for the Buccaneers is not.

The Gist: Wright is the No. 2 option for quarterback Mike Glennon since Doug Martin tore his labrum and Mike Williams blew up his hammy. Wright could be a Jimmy Graham type of TE if he had Drew Brees throwing him the ball. Did I just type that out loud?

The X-File: Averaging over 7 fantasy points the last three weeks.

Jam it or Cram it: The Buccaneers get the Seattle Seahawks this week who have been tough on tight ends all season. Expectations are not high, but with Vernon Davis and Antonio Gates on byes this week the rookie may be the Wright fit for you. That was wrong. My luck with tight ends has been bad. I’d pick up a hitchhiker in a “I Heart Murder” t-shirt if he could give me 7 points. JAM 

 

Jam or Cram: New Orleans Saints, Defense/Special Teams

Availability: 41% Yahoo, 56% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 11 fantasy points. The Saints had four sacks, an interception and two fumble recoveries Sunday against the Bills.

$$$ Value: $5. $5 bucks can go a long way in New Orleans. I once bought a Hurricane on the street there and woke up on the bathroom floor the next morning with two funny bite marks in my neck. Kindly put your crucifix away.

The Gist: Rob Ryan has turned the Saints D around this season. They’re currently averaging over 8 fantasy points a week, have 24 sacks, 12 forced fumbles and nine interceptions.

The X-File: The Saints’ defense, last in the league a year ago, has held six of seven opponents under 20 points.

Jam it or Cram it: The Saints D/ST has been very opportunistic this season and they get the J-E-T-S on Sunday whose offensive strategy is: give up sack, throw pick. JAM

 

Good luck in Week 9 and thanks for hanging in the Razzball Lounge. Hit the Guru up below with your fantasy queries or follow The Guru on Twitter @TheGuruGS  for the daily jam or cram, fantasy roster 411’s and other gooey shenanigans.

 

62 Responses

  1. Dave says:
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    Thoughts on Vereen’s value when he comes back in a .5PPR? Also is it worth stashing Jay Cutler in a 2 QB league my current QB’s are Rivers and Big Ben I have an open roster spot.

    Thanks!

  2. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Cutler probably won’t be back until Week 12. Can’t see wasting a roster spot for that long. Vereen is interesting though. The Pats clearly need him, but is not eligible to return until Week 11. If you can hold out picking him up until Week 10, he’ll be worth picking up.

    • Dave says:
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      @The Guru: Yea? I feel like I should pick up Vereen now my league picks up everyone and I have the roster spot. How good a value will he be though weekly flex in a .5PPR? my current flex is Gio Bernard and other RB’s are Lacy and AP so he might never start for me.

      And Cutler I wanted so I can upgrade Big Ben for the playoffs but yea its too early

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        You have some damn fine backs. Vereen will be a flex play, but I like Gio better. You never know what Belichick is going to do with his RBs, so it’s a risk.

        • Dave says:
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          @The Guru: @The Guru: Haha Thank you I guess I’ll pick him up and just have a nice trade chip/depth guy if all goes well with him. I should try to upgrade my QB’s of Rivers and Ben though right? In a 2Qb league I feel concerned with those 2 I like Rivers but Ben not so much.

          • The Guru

            The Guru says:
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            I Pryor out there? Locker? I’d take them over Big Ben this week.

            • Dave says:
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              @The Guru: No just about every QB is taken in this league (except like Thad Lewis). Thats why I wanted to stash Henne, I have to make a trade for a better QB2 for the ROS I’m thinking

              • Dave says:
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                @Dave: I could trade for Locker but don’t know what fair value to give for him.

                And that meant to say above “thats why I wanted to stash Cutler”*

                • The Guru

                  The Guru says:
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                  Stash away.

  3. Ciwa says:
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    Hi Guru
    Thanks for last week advices. Fort this one i have Stafford and 49ers DST bye week. I am in a 14 team standard league,so u can imagine the solutions are few. I’m trying to trade Marvin Jones or Stevie Johnson for Dalton. If the trade will fail i was thinking to choose between Jason Campbell-Foles-Locker-Tannehill-BigBen-McCown. Hoping to have Dalton,my favourite is McCown. What do u think about it?
    DST time:Baltimore,Oakland,Washington,Philadelphia?
    Last two question about my lineup:Tucker or Vinatieri? Heath Miller or your Tim Wright?
    Consider that my RBs and WRs:Murray-TRich and Wallace-Marshall-Vincent Jackson( I prefer him to Ted Ginn or Stevie Jhonson despite playing against Seattle,am i right?)

    I wrote too much? :D

    Thanks for all

  4. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Dalton would be a nice pick up. Good luck with the trade. I’m leaning Jake Locker vs. the Rams this week.

    BAL DEF.

    Miller. Pats struggle against TE.

    A kicker question? ha. Tucker.

    • Ciwa says:
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      @The Guru:

      Thanks and good luck for your week 9!

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        No prob, thanks for reading.

  5. Mdaddy says:
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    Would you trade Tony Romo & Tony Gonzales for Wes Welker? I have Aaron Rodgers and Jordan Reed so I feel I can lose these two without hurting my team too much barring injury. Also Pryor is a free agent so I can use him as my backup.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That’s a lot to give up. I would think you could flip just one of them for Vincent Jackson or DeSean Jackson or Jermaine Jackson.

  6. Clint (aka Pablo Death) says:
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    You probably covered this before but who’s the JAM and who’s the CRAM between Foles and McCown at QB?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s a coin flip really. Take the guy on the better team. McCown.

  7. Ron says:
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    Eli or Big Ben ROS?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thinking Ben will put up more points.

  8. fitz says:
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    2 QB league – Starting Locker and Pryor this week and benching Brady and Tannehill.
    Yay or nay?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Sounds crazy,but “yay”.

  9. T says:
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    2 questions:
    1) fleener or wright for this week only? .5 ppr.
    2) im on 5th place (out of 10) at 4-4, 6 make playoffs, but i have the 2nd most points. 2 qb league, .5 ppr, start 2 wr, 2 rb, wr/te flex and wr/rb flex. Im being offered spiller and roddy (from last place team who needs to win) for my jordy nelson. I currently start:
    Cam
    Stafford
    Fitz
    Nelson
    R. Bush
    Ridley
    V. Davis
    Gordon
    Colston
    I also have stacy, ivory and kendall wright on my bench.

    Im worried about messing up a good thing and going for upside. Thoughts?

  10. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Roll the dice with Wright. Spiller and Roddy are hurt. Not worth it.

    • T says:
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      @The Guru: thanks, what about if i can do it for Fitzgerald instead of Nelson?

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        I just don’t trust those 2 players health wise the rest of the way.

  11. Jay

    Jay says:
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    You know me too well sir. Scary.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      You’re my twitter crush.

  12. Brian says:
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    Should I trade Antonio brown for VJax ?? Thanks for the help non ppr

  13. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Stick with Brown.

  14. Imran Faridi says:
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    Hey 10 team league, standard, start 8 – 1 qb, 2 rb, 2 wr, 1 tight end, 1 k and 1 def.

    Have Kaep, rivers, locker, AP, Ellington, Gio, Dez, harvin, Gordon, B marsh, Julius Thomas, jordan Cameron, GB def and tucker. Need help at rb. Would u trade b marsh and Gio for marshon lynch, or lacy?

    Thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d rather have Lynch.

      • Imran Faridi says:
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        @The Guru: ok so try Lynch…Good trade for me u think?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Fair enough. The Gio side wins the trade. I probably would not do it. Why do you have 3 QBs and 2 TEs? Trade some of those guys.

          • Imran Faridi says:
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            @The Guru: ha yea that’s a good question. Picked up locker couple days ago bc of upcoming soft schedule. Tried to trade Cameron but no one was biting. I’m 3-5 which is frustrating given my team. Gio has been erratic and bmarsh with McCown concerns me. Would like a better rb. Maybe I can try something else. Thanks for the insight.

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              At 3-5 it’s worth a shot trading for Lynch.

  15. Frank White says:
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    Sup guru… Jake Locker ROS instead of Eli?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d rather have Eli ROS.

  16. Frank White says:
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    Doug Martin.. keep him or drop him?? I need the room on my bench and I have Stacy, Ellington, Sprolles and Pierre

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hard to drop him when he hasn’t been declared out for the year. But it does not look good. If you need the room drop him.

  17. Frank White says:
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    Well I need another good wr/rb/te either or on my team cause of injury but Eli has A buy week. I have a high waiver, should I grab Locker or Marvin?? I know you said Marvin was a one hit wonder but I had to ask. Oh unless I should hold my waiver and grab Alex Smith?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Hold the waiver and grab Smith.

    • Comatose says:
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      @Frank White: I feel like I need to be the one to step up and ask Frank to start spelling “bye” correctly. Usually I’m not the spelling nazi but this has crossed the line into egregious territory. It’s “bye”, not “buy”. Thank you.

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Buy me a drink.

  18. Morgan says:
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    Romo for welker a decent trade? Standard league, I have Rodgers and am going to pick up Pryor as my backup

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d do that. You have no need for Romo and Welker will help. He’s scoring TDs.

  19. The Thumb says:
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    Pryor, Locker, or RWilson this week? thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’m going all in on Pryor against the Eagles. I think Wilson will be handing the ball off a lot. It’s a risky play as Wilson is probably the safer player.

  20. The Thumb says:
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    Also, Lamar Miller or Zac Stacy?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Stacy is hurt with an ankle sprain. Not a lot of details now, so I’m leaning Miller.

  21. David says:
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    Need one for my flex this week in .5PPR its between Gio Bernard (@MIA), Marvin Jones (also @MIA), or Denarius Moore (vs Eagles)

    • David says:
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      @David: And Thanks!

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Believe in Gio!

  22. Robert says:
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    I need a dependable WR. Would I be getting fair value if I trade Knowshon for Dez Bryant? I still have Lynch, Ellington, and MJD.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That’s one the best WR not named Megatron. If you can get him, do it! Thanks for reading.

  23. Tehol Beddict says:
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    u meant king size snickers right, oh wise one? who’s ur best fill in QB this week out of : Locker, Dalton, Carson, or whoever else out there? i just realized theres others needing qb’s so they will prob grab dalton fuuuuuck. and someone grabbed pryor last week while I was busy thinking i got the steal of the century in chris ivory. whoops

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Pryor, Locker, Foles. How ’bout that?

      Now take your bite size Mister Goodbar and get out of here! Ha!

  24. TKilla says:
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    LaFell, Stills, Moore, or McCluster in a non-PPR for this week?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I think Stills has the best shot at a long TD. I’m a gamblin’ man.

  25. Cal T says:
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    Hey Guru,

    I’ve got Cutler & Nick Foles available in free agency, your thoughts on picking one of those guys up for the ROS? I would have to drop somebody to do so. Not sure how much to trust Pryor as my only weekly option here on out –

    QB: Terrelle Pryor
    WR: AJ Green, Josh Gordon, TY Hilton
    RB: Reggie Bush, Frank Gore, Darren Sproles, Gio Bernard, Lamar Miller
    TE: Gronkowski, Jordan Reed
    K: Mason Crosby
    DEF: Carolina, Denver

    Thanks for the advice!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      ROS I’d want Cutler. He’s a few weeks away though.

  26. Jorge V says:
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    Top of the Morning Guru,

    Who would you start?

    Mike Wallace vs Bengals or Torrey Smith vs Browns

    RGIII vs Chargers or Tony Romo vs Vikings

    Thank you Guru,

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Smith and Romo, but it’s real close with the other two. Really a roll of the dice here.

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