Well, well, well, look whose back!  It is me, your fearless Fantasy Football Goddess!  Yes, it is true that I had abandoned all of you the past few weeks.  Let this be a lesson to all of you, never, and I mean NEVER travel to Yemen with 2 kilos of hash stowed away in your hooter.  At least, not unless you have an endless supply of money to throw at the Yemeni (is that a word?) government to let you out.  So, needless to say, I am finally back in the states, hooter is back to its normal shape and size, and I am a better person for it.  All in all, it was an experience and I am happy to say that I learned that 2 kilos is 1.5 kilos too much.  So how are we all doing?  It’s been a rough few weeks in the fantasy realm, I see.  I have taken quite a beating myself (body cavity searches aside) and I am at that point in the season where I am throwing in Jose at running back.  You all know Jose.  He was the groundskeeper that I picked up last year and held onto in a lifetime keeper league.  Sure, he doesn’t put up quite the points that I would expect him to, but hey, he puts up more points than most, am I right?  Well, since I know you are all chomping at the bit to hear what gospel I have to bestow upon you this week, I will delay no more.  Here you are, my loyal horde, Week 11’s Hit it or Quit it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

National Football League, we’ve got a lot of problems with you, and now you’re going to hear about it. In no particular order, when did the NFC North become the new AFC South? With the NFC East being a pretty good division again, does that mean I have to start wearing my 90’s flannel shirts? And should we all get concussions? Afterall, according to you, it’s not just a concussion, it’s a cancussion. Why is it, that amidst your “Salute to Service” Sunday, that you don’t mention that the taxpayers fund all the lavish patriotism we see every Sunday? What is a catch? It’s like the only thing that’s ever stayed a controversy in football since I was a kid. That, and John Elway probably being a secret horse in disguise. In fact, here was the first official NFL rules committee meeting to define what exactly a catch was. But most of all (just in the context of yesterday, because why trap yourself, ya know?), I’m so confused on how the Seahawks actually won. (Note: It’s weird to watch a game where you end up screaming in agony when anything good happens for either team.) Admittedly, I’m not so much confused on how they actually won, that’s pretty straightforward; it was some combination of an overrated New England defense getting exposed, mixed with big nights from Russell Wilson (25/37, 348 YDS, 9.4 AVG, 3 TD, 124.6 RTG and 3 CAR, 6 YDS) and C.J. Prosise (17 CAR, 66 YDS, 3.9 AVG, 10 LONG and 7 REC, 87 YDS, 12.4 AVG, 38 LONG, 7 TGTS). But how the Seahawks could win in such a karmaic (word?) fashion… I mean, talk about sh*tty calls for the last four plays of the game, almost seems familiar. Almost like it’s happened before… And I’m sure the Boston media will have a field day talking about how the “non-call” on Gronk was a crime against humanity, a genocide they’ll say! Well, if he didn’t do such a great job blocking into the endzone on a run play to Blount that should have been the call, they might have had a case. In the mean time, I wouldn’t worry to much about Patriots “nation” forming a protest to go against the result, mainly because they probably think “genocide” has something to do with the Jets…

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Well, after that barn burner on Thursday Night Football, I’m not sure the NFL can live up to my expectations. I mean, it’s not every week when you get to watch a team journey about 2,000 leagues under rock bottom, but the Browns appear to be the hero we need, not the one we deserve. And if your levels of misanthrope and despondence are running low, the Bears against the Bucs, Rams versus the Jets, and Texans at the Jags have got you covered. There are some interesting games today though, if you’re into that sort of thing (really?) with the Cowboys visiting Pittsburgh and a Super Bowl rematch between the Seahawks and Patriots. There probably won’t be any mistaken calls at the goal line involving Marshawn Lynch, but never underestimate Seattle’s offense to not ef things up. They’ve become quite good at it, and I’m quite sure that Bill Belichick has noticed, while also trolling all the Dion Lewis fantasy owners out there. Just chewing gum and walking at the same time I suppose. Though, this is coming from a guy who endorsed a Cheetos Puff for president, so I’ll consider anything he says as “dubious” for now.

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 10 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?


My apologies for the quick and short and sudden intro, but I have hit a “creative writer’s block” when it comes to the intro for the week. Alas, I do not have any stories to tell and rapidly tie back to fantasy football. Hopefully it works for next week.

So let’s just jump right into it, cool? Alright.

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Hello everyone and welcome to “Please Tell Me When It’s Safe to Go Outside”, Razzball’s new weekly piece where we wonder what the hell is going on, and debate whether or not we should venture into the terrifying outdoors to see what hellscape awaits us. This week, we will discuss fun activities you can do in your home/security bunker, such as knitting, or fashioning ammunition out of various metal objects you may have laying around *answers call from Jay* I’m being told that this will instead be another installment of Deep Impact, and also that things are pretty much the same as they were last week. For now, at least, it is still safe to go outside, but why do that when instead you can distract yourself from the horrifying state of our current political system by playing fantasy football! As we do every week, we’re looking at less than 10% owned players in the Yahoo game to scrounge for starts, and for once I actually held myself to my own threshold. Be proud of me, everyone!

Please, blog, may I have some more?


If you’re like me and you’re not into the current political talk, boy have I got a great read for you. I promise the most election-like references I’ll make in the entire post have to do with locker room politics. Instead, let me focus on the cause of what’s wrong with football lately, Roger Goodell. The man in the high castle seems to be too busy counting all the TV revenue money and player fines to worry about how bad ratings are. But don’t we, the public, deserve more from one of the most influential sports in America? I can’t be the only one eating member berries and thinking back to the good ole’ days. Remember when players were free to take cheerleader pom poms for a dance and pull out phones to call and tell their buds they scored? Hell, if Goodell is afraid of “sportsmanship” maybe he ought to implement a more stringent policy on performance enhancing drugs. You know, like the HGH policy that hasn’t caught a single player since the rule’s inception. Hopefully, we can make football great again someday soon and start the fun again. Till then, I guess dancing at home when your sketchy Flex play scores is going to have to do. I’ll do my part and give you a few names to help get you to that victory dance.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

12-13-2009---Chicago Bears host the Green Bay Packers---Bears quarterback Jay Cutler waits for a challange call regarding a possible Bears TD in the 2nd quarter--Sun-Times photo by Tom Cruze

I absolutely, positively do not want to start Week 10 this way. But, it has to be done. I’m going to suggest Jay Cutler and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sure, it may seem like I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but trust me on this one. Mr. Cavallari has a sweet, sweet match up this week at Tampa Bay and we should all be excited to cash in on this opportunity. The Buccaneers are giving up 20.9 points fantasy points per game (5th most in the league) to opposing quarterbacks and Cutler put up a respectable 14.3 points in his Week 8 return against the Vikings. That’s pretty impressive, especially when you consider that Minnesota has faced four QBs inside the top-12 this season and they haven’t allowed a 20 point day to any of them. In fact they haven’t allowed 20 points to any of the eight QBs they faced this season. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers were torched by Derek Carr (35 points) and Matt Ryan (24.3) in back-to-back weeks. Now, I realize that Cutler isn’t on the Carr/Ryan level, but Tampa Bay is averaging 281 passing yards allowed per week and they’ve handed out 18 passing scores so far this season. Both those numbers rank 27th and 30th in the league respectively. There’s a “better than good” chance that Cutler will have to go to the air early and often to keep up with Jameis Winston and company. So taking a chance on the rocket-arm of the former Santa Claus, Indiana resident might be in your best interest this week.

Here’s a look at a few more of my favorite passing and rushing match ups for Week 10:

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Welcome to the Razzball streamer article.  It has certainly been a week of surprise and self-reflection for all of us.  Whether you’re happy about the result of the election or not, it’s time for us to focus on things that we can change, our fantasy football lineups! The bye weeks continue to roll in/ and it’s been my job to help you with those fill-ins.  I hope you have found my weekly findings helpful as I’ve been lucky enough nail at least two players per week lately, usually at least one quarterback and one defense.  I was definitely disappointed that I missed out on the San Diego Chargers this past week though.  (I overlooked Mariota’s turnover tendencies.)  If I happen to overlook a player that you may like and I missed it, feel free to ask me in the comments section.  Let’s get to this week’s plays…

Please, blog, may I have some more?


There’s a monster down in Jacksonville. No, it’s name is not Blake Bortles. Although, Bortles’ play this year has been downright frightening. This monster that I speak of is 6′ 0″ 224 pounds and has dreads flowing out from underneath his helmet, very much like the tentacles of the Kraken reaching out to engulf a ship at sea. Instead of munching on ships in the ocean, though, this monster trucks helpless defenders and leaves them in his wake. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Chris Ivory of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Release the Kraken!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 9 2 out of 133 2 20 76 14 33 18
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 6 out of 136 44 7 10 37 8 10
3-year AVG 20 out of 122 42 28 17 41 16 35

Razzball had another strong week of results, with Tehol doing really well with Quarterbacks, above average in Running Backs and Kickers, and Rudy with Pigskinator ended up nailing the best rankings for Russell Wilson and Mike Wallace and was first overall for tight ends. If there was any other time to do well, this is it with the playoffs coming up soon. Myself, Rudy, and Tehol all hope that Razzball can help take you to the championship, and we’re going to be doing our best to do so until the end of time. END. OF. TIME. Like Highlander. Without all the decapitation.  Alright, enough of the generic (?) sales pitch, let’s get to your Week 10 Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Page 10 of 331« First...89101112...203040...Last »

Razzball Archives