Pierre Garçon is the newly signed #1 wide receiver of the San Francisco 49ers. You are probably asking yourself: “Why does the lead receiver of a team that Vegas predicts will win four or five games in 2017 matter for Fantasy Football drafts and why did I click on this article?” Great question, the three key reasons why Pierre Garçon is a super sleeper in 2017 Fantasy Football drafts are his projected opportunity, his reunion with an old offensive mastermind, and very his low price.

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Paired up against the second Presidential debate, it was easy to get distracted away from football to see the immediate fallout off the now infamous Donald Trump video, that amongst other things, had him describing how he likes grabbing women’s bathing suit areas as a mating ritual of some sort. (Let’s approach this anatomically really quick… can you actually “grab” someone by the hoo-ha? I mean, wouldn’t that be like picking up a bowling ball with just your thumb? It doesn’t even make any sense…) While I want to acknowledge that there was a very important moment in history that occurred last night in terms of how much you enjoy the consumption of popcorn while watching an 167-car pileup, I would only say this one thing before I move on: I wish someone had asked a fantasy football question. I mean, with all the bye weeks coming up, it IS topical as f*ck, right? So that being said, I’ll continue where the title of our post teases, which is: was that the most Eli game ever? That might have been. I mean, on one hand, Eli Manning somehow led the Giants to two Super Bowl titles. On the other hand, there’s stuff like this: 18-for-35, 199 yards and 1 TD, and the bi-weekly fumble (as opposed to his bi-weekly interception). This sort of relates to him as a fantasy quarterback too (XBox Segue Achievement Unlocked), in that at the base level, he’s a pretty run-of-the-mill option that ends up giving you 3500+ yards and 30+ touchdowns. There’s value to that, sure, and of course the Razzball community knows our policy with quarterbacks in most formats is to delay in the draft as long as you can (like my lovemaking), and this is usually where we end up: a bit below Ben Roethlisberger and a bit above the Andy Dalton line. But what I think separates the quarterbacks in this group are their weapons. Having probably one of the best receiving trios in the NFL is a fantasy boon is something that certainly keeps his value up, even when there are macabre games like this.

Here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s Week 5 Sunday games… (Maybe this will be the first week the Chargers don’t lose a high profile player to injury. MAYBE.)

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diggscatch

In what could have been a wonderful work of satire in today’s title, last night’s Sunday excursion into Minnesota’s new football stadium may have upended years of programming in thinking that Sam Bradford (22/31, 286 YDS, 9.2 AVG, 2 TD, 121.2 RTG and 1 CAR, -3 YDS) isn’t quite the second coming of Joe Montana, but moreso a cross between Mr. Glass from Unbreakable and Jimmy Clausen. Yeah, an M. Night Shyamalan reference, deal with it. One game won’t change my expertly crafted comparisons, but after beating a team that has basically controlled the division for the last decade, and doing it mostly without Adrian Peterson who did essentially nothing until finally resigning to get injured and leave the game, should say something. I mean, Matt Asiata got more in his first carry this game than Peterson has ran the entire year… And so when we are in the second week of the season, saying that the Vikings front office was onto something by mortgaging a part of their future in a desperate attempt to replace Teddy Bridgewater may be a step too far as of now (since if you whisper “Sam Bradford” into a mirror three times, one of his ACLs will explode.), it is an encouraging start. And before you think that Bradford may not be the lede you were looking for, I think the meta conversation here is that forming conclusions and finding confirmation bias from two weeks of football is probably not wise. And that’s something that should probably be discussed. It matters in the general football sense if you’re, say, a Seahawks fan, but it also matters in fantasy football if you’re, say,  a Todd Gurley owner. When is the right time to panic? To make a move? We’ve only seen about 12% of the season thus far, and to make a baseball reference, that’s game 20. Making waiver moves, exploring trades, probing at what you can do is always a good thing, but my advice here (since I’ve seen a lot of inquiries on this) is to hold for the moment. Or, at the very least, do not sell yourself short. Just wait a bit longer before chugging down the bourbon and gaslighting yourself… one more week, maybe two, before you make any major decisions, and I promise you’ll have a clearer picture and still have enough time left to do something about it.

Here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s Week 2 Sunday games…

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Or downgraded, depending on how you feel. How do I feel? Well… I still can’t quite decide if I enjoyed last night’s Monday Night Football. It had it’s moments, but at the end, I can say that I was overwhelmed with this conclusion: that the Colts pretty much represent how truly reprehensible the AFC South has become. You know it’s serious when I use two really long words that both start with “r”. (I mean, you might have not known that, but now you do. When I bring out the multi-syllabic “r” words, look out!) Anyways, the Colts are now 3-5 after last night’s overtime loss, with their only three wins in 2015 coming against their own division. And, surprising (or I guess not), they are still currently tied for first, despite looking like the AFC version of the San Francisco 49ers. And yes, I’m talking about the newest version that has already started selling (Vernon Davis to Broncos) and has benched Colin Kaepernick for Blaine Gabbert (LOL). Granted, Luck had to deal with a rainy first-half, and has undisclosed rib and shoulder injuries (which actually might be a good thing, or he’d be tempted to build an ark), but some of his passes were straight out of Duck Hunt. And the ones that weren’t? Well, as you can see above, Luck threw an interception that led to a game-winning Graham Gano field goal. Honestly, he’d better be careful, it’s just way too easy to call him Andrew Suck…

Here’s what else I saw during last night’s game… (with bonus Grudenisms!)

Special congratulations go to blewis555 for winning Razzball’s Week 8 Money Contest! One of our Daily Fantasy writers on the Baseball side, Matt Truss, finished second and in the money as well! If you want a chance to join in for Week 9, sign up here!

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Good god, what was that?

In what, dare I say, was a pretty good football game for a majority of the time (let’s just agree to not include a very morose and slug-paced fourth quarter), the Patriots continued their trend of deflating balls, cheating, receiving biased officiating, beating the Colts, which, based on recent history, was really no surprise. However, as I mentioned in last night’s Sunday Night Football Live Thread, this game really had no business being close, and it’s a testament to either Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis offense playing competently or the New England defense not being as good as we thought. In this case, it might have been a little of both (not including fourth downs, as shown above). But eventually, nature was able to drive the score to it’s most natural environment when mistakes from the Colts started to stack, all with a heaping side of LeGarrette Blount to help drive it all home. Which leads me to wonder, when the Colts draft defensive players, do they make sure that they can’t tackle first? Haha, just kidding, the Colts only draft wide receivers. With the win, the Patriots continue, along with the Bengals, Broncos, Packers, and Panthers to be the only unbeaten teams through Week 6. I’d say half of those teams are mediocre and the other half deserve their record. I’ll let you figure out which team gets the 0.5 left over from that equation…

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In a surprising turn of events for Thursday Night Football, this game was actually semi-entertaining. I’m saying “semi” because I don’t want to get too crazy here, seeing as how there were plenty of trademarks for a Thursday game present. But there was some offense, and a lot of it came from old people. Matt Hasselbeck, Frank Gore, Andre Johnson, and Adam Vinatieri all directly contributed to the Colts victory, combining their centuries of experience in the NFL into spry performances. However, the more direct contributions to a crucial Colts victory came from Brian Hoyer (and the ineffective Texans defense). After Ryan Mallet was pulled because Arian Foster whiffed on a catch (Bill O’Brien logic!), we saw an accurate, decisive, and competent three quarters from Hoyer. And then, on a potential game-tying drive at the two minute warning, complete and utter derp (shown above) happened. It’s essentially what Brett Favre could do so well (not counting cell phone technology) back in the day. And as the Colts once again get rewarded for mediocrity by being in the worst division in football (for at least 15 years now), the Texans continue to be the posterchild for the modern day NFL: If you don’t have a quarterback, you’re f*cked.

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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bigbeninjuryw315

Ben Roethlisberger was forced from yesterday’s game against the Rams when Mark Barron fell onto his leg, bending it awkwardly. While my initial reaction was to breathe a sigh of relief for all the women out there who are mobile enough to out-run a one-legged man, my next reaction was that this looked to be a season-ending leg injury. As of now, the prognosis has gone from leg implosion to ACL injury to MCL sprain, which normally takes around six weeks to recover from. Still, while the news improved throughout the day, this remains a huge blow to not just Roethlisberger, but also to the entire Steelers offense. I doubt Michael Vick ever wanted to start another NFL game again, but here he is, ready to provide clumsy pocket-presence mixed with a canon arm that fires anywhere and everywhere you don’t want it to. So basically a worse Ben Roethlisberger. While Heath Miller probably will stay the same (for now and eternity), Antonio Brown, Markus Wheaton, and Martavis Bryant (when he returns) will likely have some issues to contend with. Le’Veon Bell benefits the most, as check-downs need to go somewhere, and there will be even more emphasis on the Steelers rushing game. That being said, it can be a double-edged sword when defenses start game-planning against such things, so we’ll have to see what kind of magic Offensive Coordinator Todd Haley has ready to go. Haha, Steelers are screwed. But don’t worry, Big Ben’s third leg still works ladies! (Whether you like it or not…)

Here’s what else I saw in Week 3…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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This game, in a nutshell.

This game, in a nutshell.

In what was another snore fest that Monday Night Football can sometimes (almost all the time) be known for (at least as much as Thursday Night Football games can be), let me tell you, this one met that mark. And then surpassed it by innumerable. The first three quarters (and the last five minutes of regulation in the fourth quarter) lived up to the hype that I’m sure could have only been matched by a local mattress store Labor day commercial: a slow, cheesy, and clunky experience, which seems wholly natural as that basically describes Indianapolis, where science has taught us that rolling is the most popular form of transportation. In fact, for the first three quarters, I’m not sure sure either team’s offense understood what the game of football is or what it does. In this battle of attrition (for the viewers too), the Jets gained the upper hand, convincing me enough that both teams had probably switched uniforms before game time and decided to see who could perform the poorest. Suffice it to say, the Colts won that face off. Or do the Jets technically win there? I have no idea, all I know is that we lost. But, as I did mention earlier, the entire game wasn’t completely devoid of events resembling football. Some offense did occur in spurts, though it was mainly concentrated at the beginning of the fourth quarter. Alas, it was too late by then, there was little this game could accomplish to offset the damage done to everyone. The previous four interceptions and three fumbles (six of the turnovers were happily donated by the Colts), and struggling to figure out who the ef Quincy Enunwa was ended up being the line for me. Monday Night Football folks… Oh, hey, the Jaguars are now in first place, something that hasn’t occurred since the lovely year of 1462. So that happened…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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While I always say that Sunday Night Football is tacitly known as the premier match-up of the weekend, I wasn’t necessarily wanting to lead-off my first recap of Sunday’s games with it, but if the Cowboys and Giants continue the long NFC East tradition of having memorable derp-offs, I have very little choice in the matter. In a game that featured two interceptions and two fumbles (and that was just the Cowboys!), Run DMC being his usual “Run for two feet then drop DMC”, coaching you’d expect from the Princeton ginger Jason Garrett and a guy with the last name McAdoo, well, you’d be hard pressed to follow all that up with a fascinating and suspenseful last two minutes. But they did. After an “interesting” (to be kind) play-action call at the one-yard line (I’m assuming even Pete Carroll would call a run play there) with just about 1:40 left in the game that failed with an intentional throw out of bounds by Eli Manning, the Cowboys quickly drove down the field in just 88 seconds, scoring the go ahead touchdown shown above. On that score, Romo was able to connect with Jason Witten after dropping a bad snap, which seems like the most Romo thing ever. Unless it ended up being an interception. Good hustle Cowboys and Giants… I can’t wait to see what the derp looks like when the Eagles and Washington get involved. Especially Washington. They were born in the derp. Molded by it…

Here’s what else I saw in Week 1 (with bonus first week knee-jerk reactions!)…

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We are here today to point out the difference between the Razzball rankings and those that ESPN has released to the masses. The first difference you’ll probably notice is that there is no Mathew Berry in our rankings. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, I’ll let you decide. Because, hey, I’m just that kind of guy. Beyond that, well, ESPN certainly likes the color of red in their logo. RED EVERYWHERE. Well, touché, we also like a color. And that color is mustache, which is totally a color. Just ask Razzball founder Grey Albright. Not be outdone, I do run around with a five-day shadow on my face on most occasions, which technically counts as facial hair, and a mustache is also facial hair, ergo, the color of mustache. And sure, you could say that I’ve added some yellow to the palette with my face, but then you’d be raycess. Now that the main differences have been established, we’ll move on to things that are more fantasy relevant, well, depending on the type of fantasy that is. Hey now. So after you clear your internet history, we’ll be comparing our rankings to that of ESPN’s and their new “What the ef is this? Facebook? Are you serious” interface. Get yer knives ready!

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