It’s the age old question. Pondered by all the great philosophers for millennia. Debated by all great leaders and all feared dictators since the beginning of time. Beard or mustache? Abe Lincoln or Tom Selleck? Grizzly Adams or Groucho Marx? Gandalf or Ron Swanson? Merlin or Ron Burgundy? This enigmatic dispute has built for ages with no sign of a clear answer. That is, until Thursday night’s legendary culmination of Ryan Fitzpatrick vs. Gardner Minshew: a Beard vs. Mustache rumpus to rule them all. And it was nothing but beard in this one as Ryan Fitzpatrick flashed his facial prowess at a clip of 18/20 for 160 yards, 7 carries for 38 yards and 2 passing touchdowns—he now has 4 touchdowns on the season. The virtual fan chants for Tua and his baby face goatee will have to wait another week.  Many will question whether this was a valid win for the beard crowd, citing the illegal use of Fitzmagic in this contest—and rightfully so. Unfortunately, we may never have a definitive answer to the greatest question in the history of mankind. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

James Robinson – 11 carries for 46 yards, 6 catches for 83 yards and his 2nd and 3rd touchdowns. Jim-Rob Cooter was the loan bright spot for a Jaguar team that looked way more like prey than predator. Pigskinonator had an inkling that this outburst was coming as it projected Robinson as it’s #12 RB this week between slop servings. A friend in my home league (standard scoring with only 2 WRs) traded Terry McLaurin for Robinson yesterday, which seemed like a bit of an overpay at the time. Suddenly it looks like he may have snagged a bit of a Jim-Rob bargain. 

Gardner Minshew – 30/42 for 275 yards, 3 carries for 22 yards, 1 interception and 1 fumble lost. We all know mustache rides don’t last forever. That said, the Jags didn’t do Uncle Rico any favors in this one. Chris Conley (3 catches for 34 yards) looked like he’d been paid off by Slippin’ Jimmy to throw the game, the refs ejected their starting left tackle for no-good reason and the Dolphins defense without their top corner looked like world beaters. I’m writing this off as a let-down game after Jacksonville upset the Colts in week 1 and almost knocked off the formidable Titans in week 2. There’s happier mustache rides ahead, float a buy-low offer out there if you’re in a superflex league. Speaking of trading, check out our Free Trade Analyzer to assist in ripping off your buddies or in making a fair and reasonable deal, whichever you prefer.

Keelan Cole – 4 catches for 43 yards. When D.J. Chark (chest/back) was ruled out Thursday afternoon, the fantasy world was abuzz with Hype for Keelan who saw 7 targets last week with Chark playing. Surprisingly he only saw 5 targets in this one and was invisible for the entire first half. As punishment for his disappointing performance Cole now has to live in Jacksonville for another year.

Laviska Shenault Jr. – 5 catches for 33 yards, 1 carry for 1 yard. As a sexy rookie, Shenault received even more hype than Cole on the Thursday afternoon Chark news. I get it, he’s fun to dream on and shiny-shiny. And it should happen for the kid at some point. Viska’s worth an add in most leagues if he gets dumped after this disappointment.

Myles Gaskin – 22 carries for 66 yards, 5 catches for 29 yards. The final stat line of 95 total yards on 27 touches doesn’t do Gaskin justice. He looked quick, agile, even explosive at times. It’s no wonder he’s vaulted Myles ahead of the Matt Breida (3 carries for 4 yards) and Jordan Howard in the Dolphins backfield. Make sure Gaskin is owned in your league.

Jordan Howard – 3 carries for 1 yard and his 3rd touchdown. This was an impressive demonstration by the Dolphins front office on how to light 10 million dollars on fire—giving the Bears front office a run for their money, which is also on fire. Respect to Brian Flores and the Dolphins coaching staff for not wasting time in making the move to Gaskin—maybe he’ll even start to see some goal line work moving forward. Drop Howard if you haven’t already.

DeVante Parker – 5 catches for 69 yards. Nice. The game script wasn’t ideal for the Dolphins pass game fantasy weapons as Miami moved the ball at will, played from ahead and controlled the clock the entire game. I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions based on this game which will likely end up as a big outlier. 

Preston Williams – 2 catches for 7 yards and his 1st touchdown. Saucy Boi! Unfortunately he only saw 2 targets as the Dolphins ran the clock out in the 2nd half. I’m tripling down on P-Willy, there’s some big games on the way.

Mike Gesicki – 1 catch for 15 yards and his 2nd touchdown. Just to hammer the point home: Fitzpatrick threw the ball 30 times in week one and 47 times in week 2. Over his final 11 starts in 2019, Fitz had 33+ pass attempts in all 11 games. He had only 20 pass attempts on Thursday night. Expect much more consistent target volume for Parker, Preston and Gesicki moving forward. Gesicki has a good chance to finish the season as a top 10 TE.