Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of “Dap Impacts”, our recurring series here at Razzball analyzing the most important fist bumps in history. This week, we’ll highlight Barack Obama, a man who has dapped more world leaders than all other human beings combined. And who could forget the time he dapped his own wife when accepting the Democratic party’s nomination for President, in a heartwarming moment that Fox News lovingly described as a “terrorist fist jab”… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this is actually another installment of Deep Impact, and also that Fox News did not mean that as a compliment. For those of you who haven’t been reading (looking at you, Sam Hinkie), this is for fantasy football players who like to go rummaging through the Dumpsters looking for hidden treasures. Not literally, Steve, get out of the trash and for the love of all that is holy please take that out of your mouth. For everyone who has been reading this series from the beginning, wow that’s a great haircut, very sharp. And is that new cologne I smell? Well, someone is really out to impress. Here are some plays this week to reward you for being so dapper…
Starts
Bobby Rainey (RB, New York Giants, 4% owned) – Welcome to this week’s 2013 handcuff report! Wait a second… I don’t hear “Blurred Lines” playing, and nobody is filming obnoxious Harlem Shake YouTube videos around me; this can’t really be 2013, can it? How the hell is Bobby Rainey still relevant? Well, against a Minnesota Vikings defense that smothered Odell Beckham like they were the beneficiaries in his will and nobody else was in the hospital room and hey there’s no security cameras in here are there? Sorry, where was I? Oh right, against the stout Vikings D, Rainey put up a solid PPR line of 7 catches and 65 total yards. Now, part of that line has to do with the fact that Eli Manning was forced into a lot of check downs with his receivers locked down, but the fact remains that Rainey will be the passing down back while Shane Vereen is out, and should continue seeing plenty of work with Rashad Jennings on the sidelines too. With a friendlier matchup this week against the Packers (not that the Packers have a bad defense, it’s just that any matchup is friendlier than the Vikings), Rainey is a solid PPR play.
Brice Butler (WR, Dallas Cowboys, 9% owned) – Butler was covered here last week as the secondary option to Terrance Williams, but last week’s usage would indicate that he’s the main guy to own in Dez Bryant’s absence. He tied for the team lead with nine targets (compared to six for Williams), got a couple looks in the red zone, and is the more dynamic player between the two. Williams might have more rest of season value since he’ll likely stay in the starting lineup whenever Bryant comes back, but in the meantime, Butler is… Brice as nice. *dodges thrown tomatoes* If you need a play for this week… the Butler is here at your service. *gets booed off stage*
Richard Rodgers (TE, Green Bay Packers, 6% owned) – Hey, who would’ve guessed that Jared Cook would be a terrible disappointment? Oh, anyone who has ever had him on a fantasy team? Sounds about right. Cook’s tantalizing talent has yet to materialize to results, even catching passes from Aaron Rodgers, and now he’s on the shelf for four to six weeks with a nasty ankle sprain. If you’re one of the poor saps who got duped into drafting him yet again, feel free to drop him and snag his teammate Richard Rodgers if you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for a replacement. Richard lacks the tools that Cook has, but is a big target that benefits from the attention drawn by Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb, and is a sneaky play for chasing touchdowns (he grabbed eight of them last year).
Stash
Andre Ellington (RB, Arizona Cardinals, 4% owned) – This isn’t much of an upside play, but with Chris Johnson on IR, Ellington is a must-own for people who have David Johnson, assuming they can stop patting themselves on the back long enough to operate a computer. He probably won’t be good for more than 5-10 touches a game while Johnson is healthy, but in deep formats he’s necessary insurance. I’m a little surprised to see him so low owned, but then again Josh Gordon is still 25% owned so I guess there are a good number of players that have already given up.
Drop
Vincent Jackson (WR, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 47% owned) – I was floored when I saw how many leagues people are still holding onto this dude in. Almost half of fantasy leagues still have one poor soul who is thinking to himself, “This is gonna be Vincent Jackson’s year, I just know it,” probably while wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt and using a Blackberry. Wake up from that coma, 2011 douche! Jackson has a recognizable name, and not much else. Maybe things will look up as the matchups get a little better, but there has to be better options on the wire. Maybe the four guys I named above, for starters?
