The possibilities are nearly endless with the Bobby Rainey references. Who knew Bobby Rainey would go off for nearly 35 fantasy points and start trending on Twitter? Some of my faves include #ItsRaineyMen, #NovemberRainey, #ChocolateRainey and #SomewhereOverTheRaineyBow. Personally, I went the Milli Vanilli route because I see Bobby Rainey more fraud than Grammy winner. Now and then something comes along that is just too good to be true. Ask Sky about his investment in Planet Hollywood. One of those things was the “band” Milli Vanilli. Back in late 80’s, early 90’s, your-humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru was trapped in Top 40 radio Hell and forced to spin tunes by MC Hammer, Wilson Phillips and Roxette. I refer to those four years as my “lost weekend.” Personally, I believe we all need a few lost years or decades in our lives. It’s hard to respect someone that didn’t completely piss away their life for at least a year or two doing something crazy like follow the Grateful Dead, travel with the carnival or marry a Russian bride. Unfortunately, I wasted my time playing the lip-sync hits from Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the rain. And the free cocaine. It’s time to jam it or cram it.
Jam or Cram: Matt McGloin, QB, Oakland Raiders
Availability: 99% Yahoo, 99.9% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 19.58 fantasy points. McGloin went 18-of-32 passes for 197 yards with three touchdowns and no interception.
$$$ Value: $0. A free quarterback? I’m a sucker for those “free for the taking” signs. Look what I found over the weekend.
The Gist: Out of the 421 million fake footballer’s out there in fantasy land, I can only find two verified rosters that started McGloin. One currently resides at McLean Psychiatric Hospital and the other was his brother Pat McGloin. You knew that was coming. McGloin actually looked like a legitimate NFL starter last week, unlike Geno Smith.
The X-File: McGloin completed 18 passes Sunday, 11 of which went to Rod Streater and Mychal Rivera. Who?
Jam it or Cram it: Finally something for all those insufferable Penn State fans to be proud of. One of their own did something good. The former Nittany Lion should start for the Raiders again this week against the Titans. He should not get the start for your team against anyone. CRAM
Jam or Cram: Bobby Rainey, RB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Availability: 74% Yahoo, 96% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 34.70 fantasy points. Rainey rolled for 163 yards and two touchdowns on 30 carries and caught two passes for four yards and a third TD.
$$$ Value: $70. Yes, 70 big ones. That’s what it’ll take. Time to spend like a drunken Tehol at a Chippendale’s show.
The Gist: The Razzballers were in on Rainey early with J-FOH and Sky showing the love last week. Buy them a drink. The cards came up aces and eights for Rainey and any Razzballer that started him Sunday. The numbers were impressive: 167 total yards. Three TDs. 5.7 YPC. Nearly 35 points in standard leagues and 40 in ppr.
The X-File: Rainey is clearly getting the touches over Brian Leonard. Rainey had 32, Leonard had only eight.
Jam it or Cram it: Rainey is the must add of the week and there’s a lot love, ahem, raining down on him lately. Sorry. However, I do have a funny feeling here. Perhaps it’s just gas or my fears that any running back in Tampa goes the way of Spinal Tap drummers, but Rainey has gone against two bad rush defenses and the Bucs were somehow playing with a lead in both games. They get the Lions this week and won’t have the lead once. Follow the waiver lemmings if you must, just lower the expectations. Don’t get Milli Vanilli’ed and don’t pick up Chris Rainey in a drunken stupor by mistake. CRAM
Jam or Cram: Marquise Goodwin, WR, Buffalo Bills
Availability: 98% Yahoo, 99% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 15.80 fantasy points. Goodwin had six catches for 81 yards and a touchdown and added 17 yards on one carry.
$$$ Value: $1. Look, I got you a dollar.
The Gist: Coming into Sunday’s game Goodwin had just eight catches on the year. Now he has 14. What’s the difference? Obviously, the answer is six. Also, the fact the Bills were without their top two wideouts – Stevie Johnson and Robert Woods- helped Mr. Goodwin’s stat line.
The X-File: Goodwin is averaging over 30 yards per catch.
Jam or Cram: Mychal Rivera, TE, Oakland Raiders
Availability: 100% Yahoo, 99.5% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 11.40 fantasy points. Rivera caught five passes for 54 yards and a touchdown.
$$$ Value: $0. Bargain basement shopping at the Tight End’s Warehouse.
The Gist: We mentioned Magic Mych earlier in that blurb about Pat McGloin’s brother Matt. If McGloin is still starting on Sunday, Rivera could be worth a look. At this point in the season finding a tight end worth starting is fantasy roulette, but there’s not a lot of options in that Raiders passing game.
The X-File: Rivera’s touchdown on Sunday was the first of his NFL career. His touchdown celebration needs some work.
Jam it or Cram it: You’ll have to look past your dislike for people that spell boring names in a weird way here if you want to add him to your roster. Ok, I’ll be honest, I only included Mychal in this blog to show this pic of his sister. CRAM
Jam or Cram: New Orleans Saints, DEF/SP
Availability: 59% Yahoo, 61% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 6 fantasy points. New Orleans held San Francisco to under 200 yards, had three sacks, an interception and recovered fumble.
$$$ Value: $0. Stream away.
The Gist: The Saints held The 49ers to a total of 196 yards and just 81 rushing yards Sunday.
The X-File: The Saints rank fourth in the league in yards allowed this year (305.4 per game).
Jam it or Cram it: Rob Ryan has coached up this Saints D from last in the league a season ago to top five this season. As long as Rob doesn’t follow his brother to Dave & Buster’s for air hockey and Big Buck Hunter fun, the Saints defense will feast on Falcons this week. What does a falcon taste like? Kind of like bald eagle. JAM
Jam or Cram: Ryan Succop, K, Kansas City Chiefs
Availability: 69% Yahoo, 71% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 5 fantasy points. One field goal, two PATs.
$$$ Value: $0. Don’t spend on kickers, Taco.
The Gist: Once again, someone tweeted at me that I need to include kickers in the jam or cram. Ryan Succop is a kicker.
The X-File: Succop has eight field goals in his last four games.
Jam it or Cram it: There is one modern era kicker in the Hall of Fame. Who is he? It’s not Ryan Succop. JAM
*Week 12 Bonus Tracks*
Scott Tolzien, QB, Green Bay Packers: Tolzien has 73 attempts in less than two games. He gets a Vikings pass defense this week that has given up more than two passing touchdowns in 9 of 10 games. JAM
Chris Ogbonnaya, RB, Cleveland Browns: The Og Bon has been getting targets, 12 last week, and has surpassed Willis McGahee as the Browns lead dawg. Desperate in a ppr league? JAM. Everyone else? CRAM
Ace Sanders, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars: Ace Sanders sounds like some sort of villain on Archer. Sanders caught eight passes for 61 yards last week and had 10 targets. But we are talking about the Jaguars here. CRAM
Delanie Walker, TE, Tennessee Titans: I will keep talking up Delanie until Chuck Norris buys my pilot for Walker, Tennessee Titan. JAM
Baltimore Ravens, DEF/SP: If the Ravens are out there go get them. They play the Jets. JAM
How did our Razzballin’ jams do last week? Donald Brown had 21 points, Delanie Walker gave us 15, the Bills D put up 19 and John Carslon added 7. The Case Keenum head scratching benching cost us and Nick Folk only had a point because Rex Ryan forgot him at Dave & Buster’s.
Good luck in Week 12. Leave a question below or let’s talk kickers on Twitter @TheGuruGS.