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Much to the surprise of no one, recently crowned Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco signed a big deal with the Baltimore Ravens which, in the fantasy world, is actually not big news.  Or at least not as big as his eyebrows.  Seriously, have you seen what he used to look like in college?  The ladies must’ve been all over him…with wax strips.  I think Joe Flacco could’ve made a great endorsement deal with Geico had he not sculpted that forehead caterpillar into two furry islands instead of leaving it the Pangaea it already was.  But I digress, that type of material should solely be used on your opponents who draft Flacco in regular leagues and not for fantasy analysis.  The reality is the contract is very incentive-laden and backlogged in terms of payout so there are no immediate worries or concerns we should have about the Ravens not having enough to resign free agents or more quality players where it’s needed.  Now that the Ravens have their man and – more importantly – the continuity of a returning QB, they will need to set their sites on either resigning Anquan Boldin or finding a Boldin clone.  As I previously mentioned in my Torrey Smith fantasy, Torrey is not ready to be the short-route guy in Baltimore and may never be.  While there’s nothing wrong with that, per se, it will be deadly to the value of him and Jacoby Jones if they aren’t allowed to go out and do what they do best: stretch the field and make big plays.  And while many scouting reports make note that Tandon Doss is a great route runner, they also mention he lacks the strength to fight in the short passing game, much like what Boldin can do.  Overall, the return of Flacco still needs a few more parts to keep everything on offense copacetic.  Overall, Flacco is still the fantasy quarterback he was last year: a bench QB.  But the cool news for you is, some n00b is gonna draft him higher than he should go.  You know, because he’s won a Super Bowl and is elite.  Just like Trent Dilfer!  In other news and rumors for 2013 fantasy football…

Dennis Dixon - Signed with the Eagles for two years.  The internet was abuzz with trade rumors most of the off-season regarding Nick Foles and this surely added to it.  However, with the recent trade of Smith to the Kansas City Chiefs, it’s all but assured that Foles will still be in the QB mix in Philadelphia for 2013 and beyond.  In fact, I had a whole article ready to go about it last week before I wrote up my Alex Smith fantasy.  I made a reference to Homey D. Clown, bengay, and Jack Lord all in the first paragraph but now it’s on the cutting room floor.  Ouch.  But more to the point, I was never a believer in the Eagles moving Foles and I’m really not now.  Homey don’t play that…man, doesn’t work now!

Steven Jackson – He and the Saint Louis Rams voided the final year of his contract and SJax will be pursued by plenty of teams, no doubt.  Rumors have him going to Atlanta to replace Michael Turner or to the Broncos to replace…eh, nobody really.  Welcome to the rumor mill, where there’s no real news, just fake news which you’d think would be good for fake teams but is not at all.  Steven can still be a productive member of the fantasy football society but he’ll be turning 30 in July.  The bigger news surrounding this move, of course, is the fantasy cases to be made for Daryl Richardson and Isaiah Pead which we’ll no doubt cover in the near future.

Michael Turner - Unless you somehow missed it in the above reference, Turner is no longer a Falcon but he claims to still have gas left in the tank.  That was not a euphemism, the dude is literally built like a tank.  He could probably become a goal line vulture for someone but to be honest, I hate him and I don’t care and you can’t make me feel any differently. *Crosses arms and walks out of the room*

Darrelle Revis - Revis Island and the Jets aren’t playing nice in the sandbox.  Could’ve written this a million times over the last few years and it’s still holding true.  The Jets gave up the 6th least fantasy points to opposing QBs and the 4th least to WRs.  If they can move Revis in a trade that improves the team in other areas, it would be smart and beneficial to everyone involved.  Of course, this is the team that traded for Tim Tebow and then started Greg McElroy when they benched Dirty Sanchez so my hope of them doing the smart thing here is like asking someone from New Jersey not to be orange.