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Well, if it wasn’t clear last year to you that Mike Wallace would no longer be a Steeler this off-season it should definitely be now.  Yesterday, Mike signed a 5 year $65 million dollar deal with a Dolphins squad that went on an FA shopping spree this off-season.  What, you wanted a funnier intro?  Well, I would’ve gone with Mike Wallace retires to South Beach but the 60 Minute man is dead, both the the guy from the show and the man who wrote the song so you’re gonna have to make due with whatcha get.  But back to the point, this is a very expensive move by the Dolphins but – in all honesty – the right one for the team.  Yadda to the 3rd power, Sky, what does this have to do with fantasy?  Yes, yes my friend, we’re getting there.  You see, the Dolphins had already signed Brian Hartline to a 5 year 30 mil deal last week but if you know anything about last year’s Miami team, you know that Hartline is not a #1 wide receiver.  Alright, technically I don’t consider Wallace one either but he does stretch the field and gives young QB Tannehill the downfield threat he was missing in 2012 and makes Hartline a clear WR2 which he should fill the role of quite nicely.  In all, much like the Percy Harvin trade I talked about yesterday, I don’t see this affecting Wallace for the better or the worse but I do see it as a boon for the value of Tannehill and Hartline and maybe to a lesser extent even Davone Bess in deeper leagues.  Miami hasn’t had this big of a threat since Brandon Marshall…who went to the Bears…for 5 years…and only 44 million…eh, well again I’m no analyst on how that worked out but I can assure you this bodes well for many wearing Dolphins uniforms for fantasy purposes.  But of course, Wallace wasn’t the only major roster move yesterday so without further fooferah, let’s see what other signings and releases will have an affect on our world for 2013 fantasy football…

Ryan Fitzpatrick - I can’t make a joke about this because what happened was already funny enough to begin with.  Prank callers somehow hooked up Mark Dominik – Buccs GM – with the Bills GM Buddy Nix who proceeded to exlpain they can’t pay that kind of money to a backup QB.  That happened Monday.  Fitzpatrick was released Tuesday.  No word on where he’ll land yet but if he ends up in Arizona, I think I know who placed the call.  Don’t worry, Bills fans.  I hear Matt Cassel is available.

Darrius Heyward-Bey - Much like many of his fantasy owners in 2012, the Raiders dropped DHB like he dropped passes last year.  Depending on where he goes, he could still be fantasy relevant but the main thing to learn from this is I’ll be going Streating in 2013 with Rod Streater.

Anquan Boldin - In news that was already known when Percy Harvin got traded, the Ravens traded the wide receiver that made Flacco look so good during their Super Bowl run to the team they beat in the Super Bowl for a 6th round pick.  So here’s what I say ‘well, when you can’t beat them join them’ but I mean the opposite of it.  This move is great for the 49ers franchise but has little fantasy relevance, hence why I didn’t tell you yesterday.  You think I’d ever cheat you like that?

Martellus Bennett - Yet another TE signing as Bennett joins Cutler’s ‘chuck it to Marshall and pray’ offense with a 4 year deal.  I’m looking back at the last time the Bears had a decent receiving TE – Greg Olsen – and I’m gonna say not interested.

Tony Gonzalez - The ageless wonder talked it over with his family – which I assume includes great grandkids at this point – and decided to postpone retirement another year.  Who is this guy, Brett Favre?  Beware of his twitpics people!  Still a top 10 TE but I’d be shocked he comes anywhere near last year’s production in 2013.  Just as shocked as I was last year when he did it for that matter.

Jared Cook - The Rams went to Jared!  Only instead of a diamond ring they came back with a talented TE signed to a 5 year contract.  When you have Locker throwing at your feet over your head into the crowd to you, you’re gonna have a hard time finding success so Bradford is a step in the right direction.  Achievement unlocked: Sleeper potential that’s actually valid.

Delanie Walker - Apparently only TEs were available to sign on Tuesday.  Walker replaces Cook in Tennessee.  That’s all I have to say about that, really.  If you don’t understand why, hit CTRL+F on this page and search ‘Jared Cook’.  Or just read the blurb above.  Might be easier that way.

Chase Daniel - Signed a 3 year contract with the Chiefs.  Remember when everyone got excited about Alex Smith getting traded to the Chiefs?  Yeah, glad you didn’t ruin all the party favors that night.  If Smith doesn’t guide the Chiefs to a .500 record or better by mid to late season, prepare to Chase down Daniel in the FA pool.

  1. Jack Full of Donuts says:
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    Smith and Daniel, i would kick myself in the nuts right now if i was a chiefs fan, they now have 2 great college/barely mediocre pro quarterbacks. Maybe they can hire Cade McNown to coach QB’s…Joey harrington already has a paying gig.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I hear Vince Young is still available as well.

      • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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        @Sky: zing… love the flight reference on the baseball site.

        my favorite thing from the show

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Ha, it’s funny I’ve never actually seen the show but I’d buy that shirt. I’ve only seen that original show from that link I sent you and a few older vids. This is how I originally heard ‘Ladies of the World’:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXwZxzbZw4c

          • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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            @Sky: I thought i could be a dick sometimes in here, but Murray’s comments in Rudy’s article takes the cake.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Haha, yeah I saw that. I’d like to see him ask those guys in tout to join his league or to join theirs. I’m sure they’re clamouring to get in.

              • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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                @Sky: $20 says thats SNAFU Larry

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  HA! With the underlying current of butthurt, I think you’re onto something.

                  • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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                    @Sky: I read a hardy boys book once

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I watched plenty of Murder She Wrote and I still totally missed all the signs.

  2. Jack Full of Donuts says:
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    besides bush to detroit, any other FA signings of interest?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      You are in full baseball mode! Wes Welker signed with the Broncos today and Amendola slid into the Pats slot behind him. Eric Decker will suffer the most this season for it and now I can’t call Amendola a sleeper. Peyton is gonna have a huge season with that wide receiver set

      • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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        @Sky: I just read up on Welker, i’m a huge bronco fan, I tinkled a little when I read it, and just saw amendola signing, i hope people believe he is injury prone, cause i want him, getting off that turf might help, I hope.

        I am getting excited for football. i love my league and look forward to the possibility of you joining my league to lose your IDP virginity. Seriously, like a kid giddy for Christmas….OMG, i can’t believe Sky might play in my league.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Ha I’m excited too. Will be my IDP inauguration.

          I’m completely with you on Amendola. I really do hope the injury stuff gets in the way enough for him to stay in at least mid to late WR2 range. His injuries have been of the freakish variety, not the chronic. He really is Welker minus the injury history.

          Yeah Broncos are obscene in the passing game this year. As long as they don’t run into any injuries or another team of destiny like the Ravens, they should have a good playoff run.

          • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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            @Sky: good calls going their way in the playoffs would help. after baseball starts I’ll start to share with you the tips to my style of IDP.

            I might have to re-name my divisions. we usually have the hella gay bay, for all my FFF ( fantasy football freinds) to the north and awesomeness for all us socal and arizona people. yes, we play divisions. Makes the race for the playoffs more interesting.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              There was a lot that went wrong in that Baltimore game that was some on Denver, some on Baltimore and some on just plain old bad luck. I’d say if Moreno stays healthy, Fox doesn’t go crazy conservative and we have a way different ballgame. Really to me, Moreno was the turning point. Hillman couldn’t block, the Ravens knew it and pinned their ears on Peyton. Don’t think I ever saw him relaxed in the pocket when Knowshon left.

              I’m game. Or gay. Whatever gets me in the league.

              • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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                @Sky: 2 bottle caps, 3 pubes and a half pack of menthols gets you in

                It kills me when we got the no call on the Ravens pick six. I also had this gut feeling before the playoffs that it’s good business for their poster child to go out in a fairy tale finish.

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  And here I went with a Brazilian…well at least I have a few months to have my tropical grove grow back out before it starts.

                  I could definitely see that but really, Flacco went from connecting on 50% or less of his Hail Marys to closer to about 80%. Hard to beat flat out luck. Oh and don’t get me started about Fox’s decision at the end of regulation. That was a disaster.

                  • Jack Full of Donuts says:
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                    @Sky: they didn’t help themselves, but they got the short end of the help stick too.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      As a Seahawks fan, I can relate. SB XL: never forget.

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