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So, the NFL is cancelling the season after Monday Night Football in tribute to Aaron Rodgers, right? His injury is clearly worse than 9-11, if you are to believe the outpouring of melancholy media ejaculate yesterday. Not that they don’t have a reason. Losing one of the NFL’s most marketable players for selling insurance not only leaves us just with Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt (who died last week) to hawk stupid sh*t, but also allows the Packers to show how terrible Brett Hundley is at quarterbacking. Football sure knows how to expand it’s market share! And I realize there’s already a lot of hype building for signing Colin Kaepernick, which if we’re writing seriously (rare, I know) makes some sense, but I feel like a sports organization has to do triage for these situations with a bit more vigor. So I’ve come up with a strategy, a “plan of attack” if you will, that I believe the Packers are considering right this very moment:

  • Plan A – Send feelers out about signing Colin Kaepernick to gauge the reactions from fans and media. Invest in the TIKI torch brand if signing takes place. If not, move to Plan “B”.
  • Plan B – Beg Tony Romo to leave the booth. If Romo says yes, move to “Plan XXIV” when he gets injured in his first game back. If Romo says no, move to “Plan XXIV”.
  • Plan XXIV – WHERE IS MATT FLYNN? If found, give him more free money. If not, give him more free money and move to the next plan.
  • Plan LOL – Trade for Jay Cutler, since he has the most experience throwing to Packers receivers. If Miami says no, move to the last plan.
  • Plan OMFG – Tim Tebow time! Because at this point, why the ef not?

The NFC North is gonna otherwise be ceded to a team that got blown out by the Saints yesterday. But yeah, darn shame about Rodgers… now that I’ve confirmed the Chargers don’t play Green Bay later this season…

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Well, Thursday Night Football… what can I say? The average margin of victory was 28 points (and if I actually knew what math was, I’d have to guess it would probably be around 30 points now after last night’s game), and I still can’t figure out if these blow out games are boring… or just plain sad. One thing’s for sure, Thursday Night Football is where NFL parity goes to die. The Packers opened up the first half with five, I repeat, five 3-and-outs, but still managed to lead the game 28-0. The Vikings couldn’t reach their own 45-yard-line until late in the second quarter… and then, when they did, it was on a Matt Asiata run where the end result was a fumble. Because of course. And it only got worse from there. For example, I think the Vikings are still punting as you’re reading this.

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Hot potato!

“In the 13th round of the coolest fantasy football draft in the world, Seth Klein selects Rod Streater, the No. 1 wide receiver from the Oakland Raiders.”

Yep, you read that right– NO. 1 WIDE RECEIVER… in the 13th round. But it’s the Raiders, right?  They suck. It’s true, the Raiders should continue to suck again in 2014, but they did improve a lot this off-season, and the upgrades they made should benefit their receiving corps. The team bolstered its offensive line by drafting Mississippi State guard Gabe Jackson (who has looked fantastic in camp), and signed free agents Donald Penn, Kevin Boothe and Austin Howard.  Also returning is versatile tackle, and former second-round pick, Menelik Watson, who missed all but five games last season. Of course, Streater’s season will likely be defined by who is throwing him the ball in Oakland, and that man is nine-year NFL vet, Matt Schaub.

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I know what you’re thinking… The last week?  The last LSD of the season?  But unfortunately, it is the last of the Last Second Decisions, as I am officially retiring from fantasy football after this season.  It’s been an absolutely incredible ride the past three years fielding the last minute questions, three years of Last Second Decisions, helping out with Team Previews, RCLs, a couple Daily Recaps, everything that makes Razzball be Razzball.  Good news is Sky is gonna keep Razzball Football the best in the biz heading into next year, while I focus everything on Razzball Basketball to bring you the hoops hardware.  Or the hoops scissors.  As in cutting down the net.  Don’t run with them!  Again, it couldn’t have been a happier ride, and if you have any Fantasy NBA teams, be sure to keep up with us on basketball through the rest of the NBA season!

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Razzball Nation!  I’m filling in for Sky this morning in the football recap, as Sky was called by Al Davis for a possible CB job opening.  That would be scary for multiple reasons!  Man Oakland was brutal.  Long live the Chiefs offense!  Jamaal Charles had a historic game (6th highest fantasy output in non-PPR since 1960), making the Raiders D look worse than some of those Raiders costumes.  The real Rocky Horror Picture Show was the pass D, as JC Superstar enlightened fantasy owners with 8 catches (on 8 targets) for 195 yards and 4 TDs.  Plus an extra 20 on the ground with a score there.  Straight video game numbers!  “RB screen, X, X, X!”  Actually that sounds like a porn title.  I’ll have to ask Tehol about that one.  Charles has been effing fantastic this year, and I think easily the fantasy MVP.  Sure you could argue Peyton Manning, but if you have JC and you’re somehow not waltzing through the playoffs than you only have yourself to blame!  Is he fantasy’s #1 pick next year?  I don’t see how you could resist.  If someone really wanted Adrian Peterson, I’d turn to them after that pick ala the 1,000-year old dude in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and go “he chose poorly…”  While some teams had their dreams melt away, others are marching into the finals with the rest of the week 15 happenings…

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We’re coming down to the last week of the regular season in most leagues and the first week of the playoffs in others. Hopefully you have your playoff spot wrapped up and are planning your path to postseason glory.

But Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers (collarbone) shouldn’t be a part of those plans. He practiced yesterday for the first time in the month since he suffered his collarbone injury against the Bears. Matt Flynn is expected to get the start this week against Atlanta at Lambeau Field.

If you’re hanging on to the hopes of having Rodgers for the playoffs, don’t. The Packers are 0-4-1 without him this season and his absence has dragged down the values of the Green Bay wide receivers. At 5-6-1 their only real chance of trying to make the playoffs is to win the NFC North. They have virtually no shot at a wild card and losses to Philadelphia and San Francisco really hurt their chances in that regard.

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I am not gonna lie, I’m doing this the lazy way. I just spent the day watching football, cleaning house, watching more football, taking the dog for a walk, watching more football, drinking, watching, more drinking…well, you get the point. I’m gonna recap that which is recappable and ignore that which is recrappable. And sadly, there was much that could’ve gone in the pie hole today and instead came out another one. But that’s for the reviews and we ain’t there yet, we’re still talking in the opener soooo…um, welcome to your Turkey hangover I guess? I don’t know what else to say. I’m typing this pre-podcast with the crew over at Revelation Sports. Little to their knowledge, they’re getting me three beers in. Ok, I fib, I’m at about five and really I still have an hour to get a couple more in. I pray for all involved that I don’t say something stupid like ‘start all Green Bay Packer wide receivers’. That would really make me look drunk, right? Ok, I’m foreshadowing. Let’s antishadow and get this going. Here’s the three servings of Thanksgiving Night Football for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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I guess this is the part of the review where I open with being impressed, right? Where I shine the light on the best player in the game and point out his virtues and then back it up with the stat line for proof. But the thing is, I don’t think I have it in me to misrepresent the facts. You see, tonight the cake was a lie. Sure, the end line for Colin Kaepernick looked nice: 15/24 for 235 and 3 passing TDs to go with 20 yards rushing. If that were on my team, I wouldn’t turn it down at all. Heck, I’d marry that end line even if it were my half-sister…sorry, lost in a few leagues this week. My desperation levels for a win knows no bounds sometimes. Take that Blue Lagoon! I just one-upped you in nastiness. And when did Brooke Shields become a man? I was not privy to this change…nevertheless, all we’re talking about is stats when we look at that Kaep end line. What we don’t talk about is game flow, defensive game plan and the quick response. The first three drives by SF took a total of 4 minutes, 22 seconds and showed how the ‘skins planned to attack SF. They told the 49ers they were gonna sell out on the run and make Kaepernick pass for the win. But when you give up as much on the ground as Washington does fantasy wise – 2nd most according to ESPN heading into Monday – and you’re still one of the worst against the pass (5th worst against opposing QBs), you’ve got to draw a line in the sand somewhere and say what you’re going to target in a game. And pretty much, the ‘skins dictated that if the 49ers were going to beat them, they’d have to do it through the air by stacking the box and Kaep said ‘thank you for this opportunity’. In reality, this game was no less mistake-laden than other Colin performances have been this year, it was simply masked by an inferior opponent and game flow so now, everyone is going to be talking about Kaep bicep kisses for a week. Well, consider me not one of them. I still think Kaep can be great but I’ve seen a timid and unsure Colin one too many times this year when the first read doesn’t go his way. Consider this a warning, Kaep owners: Washington is the worst at seemingly everything on defense and yet they decided to let Kaep try and beat them. Not something that would make me confident moving forward. In other news from MNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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Normally a big game from someone comes early in the day and I circle it, pin it on my 100 %recycled cork board and dictate the rest of my post in pieces here and there throughout but I’m not gonna lie: the Broncos vs Pats game I had circled. I just knew the name would come out of this game. I mean, we had all those stars and great storylines. Wes Welker returning to face his former team. Amendola living up to the hype of trying to replace Wes in New England. Peyton Manning doing his best nihilist impersonation. Gisele rushing onto the field and Tonya Harding’ing Welker also came to mind. But instead, out of all the storylines this game brought to life, it was really center stage for a guy who’s been under-appreciated for what he has meant to his team, been called out on twitter and in general gets no respect. I’m of course talking about Knowshon Moreno, the much maligned starting RB for the Broncos whose emergence started last year when Willis went down with an injury and rolled into this year while all the pundits said Montee Ball would be the star in Denver. And yet, through it all Moreno has put up some very solid fantasy numbers on the year. But I’m taking this second to point out a different part that’s just as important; what he means to his team. Moreno ‘gets it’ and Peyton knows it. He trusts him. When Moreno is out there, Manning knows he’s got a guy who knows the play and will be ready to block if the play changes and where he needs to be to make the team successful. Of course, twitter has been cruel to him but it’s also shed some light here and there as well. And despite the massive fantasy day, tallying 224 rushing yards on 37 carries to go with a TD, Moreno left the stadium in a walking boot and on crutches. I’m pointing all of this out to say it’s not just Moreno owners who should be worried about this injury as it could affect the offense as a whole if he misses significant time. You think I’m being melodramatic up in here? Think back on all those fumbles by Peyton on huge sacks. Guess who was in to pass block? Mmm-hmmm. He’s real football important and because of that his fake football persona is relevant. Montee Ball started the collapse for the Broncos in the second half with a fumble and has had pass pro issues. Ronnie Hillman has been in the inactive dog house since his fumble fiasco at the goal line in the Colts loss. CJ Anderson? Odd if they wanted him involved why they haven’t given him many reps since the Hill demotion. All this to say, Broncos thought it was cold Sunday Night. We might be finding out how warm it is when he’s away. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know…in other news from week 12 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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Quarterback is a position this year that – much like a child left in a car in the middle of summer with the windows rolled up – doesn’t need to be worried about. Woah, strike that analogy and reverse it! Really, QB is gonna be the least of your worries in 2013, I can almost promise you. That ‘almost’ was brought to you by Elite QB Inc where we learn that a Superbowl winning QB should be a top 10 QB in the next fantasy year only because everyone and their mother know his name. I hear ya. Last year someone had a beef with me ranking Eli so low because he carried his team to that Super Bowl win. Eh, sorry to be the bearer of bad news but, uh, this is Fantasy Football and we don’t care. Good night! As stated, this isn’t a position to get worried about this year in terms of getting a top tier guy. There’s plenty of value up and down this list and a few sleeper worthy types that we might/should discuss at a later date. But until then, I say we keep on keeping on with our 2013 Fantasy Football Rankings as we look at the Top 20 quarterbacks for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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The news hit my twitterfeed like there was a cure for cancer. Arizona trades for Carson Palmer! Finally, Larry Fitzgerald has a real quarterback throwing to him! It’ll be just like old times for Fitzy! And this is much longer than twitter will ever allow for one tweet! It must’ve been broken up over like 5! And I can’t stop using exclamation points!!!…!!! It’s true, the Cardinals finally got their man in Carson to do away with the 3-headed dreck of Stanton, Hoyer and Skelton for the season and it’s also true that Carson will most likely be successful in his stint in the desert. But let’s do like your mother did when you said you’d grow up to marry a Super Model and create a sock that never loses its elasticity: lower your expectations. It’s true that Carson is an upgrade over all those guys – and even Kevin Kolb who’s now with the Bills – but the upgrade that’s still needed hasn’t truly happened. Unless you think being a quarterback in Arizona is linked to the world’s oldest profession, you realize a QB can’t do their job while lying on their back. The Cardinals had either the worst or at least bottom 5 among offensive lines in the NFL last year according to most metrics. Don’t worry, Americans, you don’t have to understand the metric system to get how bad these stats are. The Cardinals line gave up the fourth most sacks (49), had the lowest ‘adjusted line yards’ mark at 2.92 and the team as a whole averaged 3.4 yards per carry on the ground. Those stats are like a surgeon performing a transplant: disheartening. However, the good thing we can say here is the Raiders line was not leaps and bounds better so there’s hope for a reasonable season to come from Carson and from his receiving crew. Just don’t go crazy with the twitter love and exclamation points about it. In other 2013 fantasy football news…

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