In DA words of DA Coach, “If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn’t have given us arms.”

With those words of inspiration, it’s no wonder DA COACH has done such amazing things. He won the 2018 World Cup without ever stepping on the field or knowing how to play soccer. He once drank the entire city of Chicago out of green beer simply because he wanted to remove all signs of Packer colors from the city. When DA COACH reads fake news, it becomes reality. If you look at DA STACHE directly, some say it has the power to take a piece of your soul. And DA COACH is still, to this day, able to pass the Baltimore Orioles trade physical. DA Coach would rank fantasy football players for us, but it wouldn’t be fair to have all of the rankings in the exact order they will finish the season.

Seeing as I can only dream of reaching DA COACH’s level, here’s my first run at standard scoring fantasy football rankings for the season. You can see other Razzball rankings from Zach and MB‘s rankings. Or if PPR is more your thing, Zach’s and MB’s PPR rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Welcome to the 2018 Fantasy Football Season everyone! Especially my fellow Razzballers, shot-callers, brawlers who be dippin’ in Benz with the spoilers. Something-something-benjamins, by P.Diddy. Puff-Dids. Puffy-Dude. Whatever. Yeah, an old school reference, but I spend all day thinking about Drake thinking about Drake, so I wanted a change of pace. So there you have it. Ahem, rankings… it’s time. I mean, it could have been any time, since it’s a flat circle (alright, alright, alright), but this is the time for my rankings. And what makes my rankings so special? Well, my mom always said I was special, so there’s that. And right after the jump I’ll go over my gravitas in that regard, only because the root word of gravitas is “gravy” which we can all agree with is amazing. But before we get started, I wanted to emphasize that this amazing piece of content won’t necessarily contain specific bits of analysis on my rankings. (Feel free to ask any question in the comments section though!) Don’t worry, we’ll be spending the preseason going over that, my loves, my hates, my infatuations but they restraining order probably because I love them too much… all of them. We’ll go over how my rankings stack up against the triumvirate of Disney-owned (or soon to be owned) sport sites like ESPN, Yahoo, and CBS. We’ll even go over my tiers (I’m a sensitive soul), all before the first official snap of the NFL. What I want to accomplish with this post is to not to just release my 2018 rankings, but also to get the ball rolling on what Fantasy Football is all about. (So DEEP.) If you’re one of the above mentioned “Razzballers” or a Fantasy Football veteran (thank you for your service), you’ll probably recognize a lot of what’s to follow. But for those of you who are new visitors, the uninitiated, the initiated, and… actually I think I’m describing the League of Shadows, but whatever, think of this as a welcome guide, even moreso a “beginners guide” to the greatest (at creating ulcers) fantasy sport known throughout the human-explored galaxy. (I mean, we just don’t know what the trending fantasy sport is in Alpha Centuri, do we?)

The TL;DR is: Rankings, Beginners-Focused Content, Ur Mum. Here we go!

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

It is that time of year. Football is about a month and a half away from meaning something again and that means that our fantasy football drafts are just weeks away. I’ll be moving around these rankings from time to time, but I feel pretty good about these at this point in time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s going on everyone, and welcome to the first installment of my draft rankings. During the first two months of the offseason, I have been mostly focusing on strategy articles with MB, Reid and the rest of the crew, but because we are now into July, and the first few teams have begun reporting for camp, it’s probably the best time to release my standard rankings, with my PPR and 0.5 PPR rankings shortly to come.

Please, blog, may I have some more?