“I am Oz, the Great and Terrible. Who are you, and why do you seek Me?” Plenty of fantasy sports web services have expanded their scope of expertise from the fake games they’ve been writing about for years to the real one played on Sunday. Legalized gambling is spreading across the country, and advice is not hard to find. However, how many of these virtuosos allow you a glance behind their curtain?

I am no Oz. My gambling advice isn’t just to pick from behind a giant projection of my ugly face. Those picks arrive through an intricate power rankings system. Using the strength of schedule, offseason changes, offensive prowess, and historical data against the spread, I derive my odds and compare them to offered lines to find the best bets each week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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It’s 1934, prohibition is finally over, but the country is in the midst of the Great Depression. Of course, you are sitting at the local watering hole drowning your sorrows when a well-dressed man walks into the bar requesting a cold one. The bartender requires the man to pay upfront because of the economic times. He reveals a large wad of cash and the bartender questions, “Where did you get all that money?” The stranger proclaims he’s a professional gambler. Everyone in room disparages him, claiming even the best bets are 50/50.

The gambler does what gamblers do, he wagers with the patrons. “I’ll bet you $50 I can bite my right eye!” When the bet is taken, he pulls out his glass eye, pops it into his mouth, and shoves the fresh Ulysses S. Grant in his pocket. He proceeds, “Perhaps that was unfair, so I’ll bet you $50 I can bite my left eye?” Seeing him walk into the room, knowing he isn’t blind, the bartender obliges. The gambler pulls out his fake teeth, bites his left eye, snatches the cash, and heads to the back of the room to drink up.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lucky charms come in all shapes and sizes, but bugs bringing you good luck is just plain weird. Yes, I am talking about ladybugs. Do you realize there is no discernable history behind the ladybug’s lucky nature? Despite the lack of facts, many believe being a landing pad for these flying critters will serve you well as long as you don’t brush it off! Let her fly away and reap the reward.

The ladybug legend doesn’t stop at luck. It’s told that these feminine flyers can predict your future too! Well, now you have got my attention bugs. Tradition says if you count their spots, it will signal how many kids you’ll have (yikes) or possibly the number of lucky months ahead of you. We have got four months of betting ahead of us. Wherever that four-spotted ladybug lands, I hope it’s on my shoulder.

Please, blog, may I have some more?