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Greetings! Oh ye followers of the Lord, I humbly summon you to partake in a birthday celebration fit for… fit for… well, a Lord. Tis my birthday on Thursday, and myself and the Lord’s keeper (Jay-Wrong) will be guzzling absinthe by the gallon while we watch Lord Grey Albright and Ralph Lifshitz joust to the death. I must mention the fact that Lord Grey is our liege Lord and his death can simply not be allowed. Therefore, Prospector Ralph must take one for the team. He will be deeply missed, and by deeply I mean that I will piss on his ashes and move his wench into my private quarters for a few months and add his children to my service staff. Spotted d*ck and rhinoceros steak sandwiches will be served for all of those interested in joining. Jay and I are both turning 25 this year [Jay’s Note: Haha.], and though we’ve accomplished so many tremendous things in our lives thus far, I see an even brighter future upon the horizon. Our partnership has become stronger than that of Siegfried and Roy as we continue to master fantasy football together as one. Let’s just pray neither of us is mauled by a Tiger. [Jay’s Note: Amen brotha…]

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight. Take heed!


Players the Lord believes will Delight in Week 6:

Russell Wilson – When Russell Wilson took the Seahawks to back-to-back Super Bowls, one of which he won and another which he should have won, he had my curiosity. But when he jacked Future, AKA the hottest rap star in the game for his baby momma, he received my full attention. Now every time “Blow a Bag” comes on in the locker room, some poor man gets baby powder pimp-slapped as Russ proceeds to have one his handlers put Green Day back on. Start Wilson this week in all formats. I hope you have time of your life.

Christine Michael – Atlanta’s backers are more banged up than Kardashian tang after a pool party at Uncle Luke’s crib, and I fully expect Christina to stream through wide open holes like the soft serve dished out in ‘2 Girls 1 Cup’. The Falcons are giving up 4.3 per carry on the ground, but I’m thinking Michael snow-pierces them for seven a clip. Call it a hunch or just call it reality. Take it how you wanna take it, dog.

LeSean McCoy – We now know that Greg Roman was the problem. Funny, since we thought that to be laughable at the time of his firing, but since that horrid time in the life of Bills Mafia, Buffalo has ripped off three straight victories and are headed to 4-2 after they treat the 49ers like my acting coach did Christian Slater when he told him he’d like to get back into something other than smut films. Look, the 49ers have major injuries across the front seven and McCoy has been eating like he’s been starved in the desert for two weeks and just got off adderall. Now is the time.

Terrance West – Ding-Dong! The witch is dead! And that witch is otherwise known as Marc Trestman, the witch that for reasons we have yet to figure out, decided not to run the ball in what was an extremely close game, a close game where they had great success running it in the first half. Good riddance Marc, and welcome all to the T-West experience. Now I got Trestman’s daughter hounding me. Ain’t that a bitch?

Golden Tate – Always trust old Cooter. Never failed me.

Quincy Enunwa Patrick Peterson will be draped on Brandon Marshall, leaving Enunwa to treat whatever pigeon is attempting to cover him to a pig-roasting. Can I use two animals in the same sentence? Does that work? Either way, if Sugar D!ck, AKA Eric Decker misses the game, Enunwa should go for 80-plus and a score.

Dorial Green-Beckham – With Nelson Agholor showing hands of stone, it’s only right that this man of unusual size takes full control of the number two receiver spot, and I expect the young man to excel. The American Indians give up over 260 yards a game in the air and I’m GUARANTEEING you that DGB hits pay dirt.

Robert Woods – Another man I’m vouching for to find the end zone this week. With Buffalo refusing to trade for any viable receiving options, Woods is the de facto number one. Tygod barely missed him for a long score last week. Tygod never misses twice. You’ve to be realistic about these things.

Jimmy Graham – Hotlanta is hot garbage against the pass, somehow still ranking 27th, even after being gifted a matchup with the wonderlic-bombing Paxton Lynch. Stupid is as stupid does, as Forrest Gump’s momma used to tell me. Anyway, I tried to tell you before the season that fantasy rankers were far too low on Jimmy, and for once, I’m looking intelligent. And when you mix intelligence with sex appeal, you have the ability to make love to D-level actresses in Hollywood. Graham is truly showing the world that light skinned brothers are making a comeback. This could be a monstrous day.

Charles Clay – Say one thing for Charles Clay, it’s that he’s Tygod’s most trusted target. And though he’s decrepit and has the worst contract in the NFL, Clay is still capable of performing like a top ten tight end when the mood strikes. Will it strike? Only the Elder Gods know.

Robert Aguayo – I’ll be smoking peyote with the Elder Gods over the next two weeks, digging deep into the problems of young Robert. We shall come forth from this drug induced haze with a clear answer on what to do with this young man. I foresee a bright future, a future filled with hot-tubs, Cristal, and surgically enhanced women galore, but, my friends, the Lord has been incorrect a time or two before, so don’t hold it against me. You’ve got to be realistic about these things.

 

Players the Lord believes will Disgrace in Week 6:

Colin Kaepernick – Nobody circles historically washed up Quarterbacks like the Buffalo Bills. Chippy needs to up his protein shake intake, STAT!

Matt Ryan – When facing the Seahawks in Seattle, there’s only one thing one can do in fantasy football. SIT EVERYONE! You MFers can’t be us or see us. You think you mob, but we the MFin Mob. Don’t come out to the westside thinking you won’t get got.

Dak Prescott – The Packers defense is immensely improved and Dak get’s exposed like he was talking groupies in Billy Bush’s trailer.

Matt Jones – Gruden’s goofy little bro is already talking about Kelly, the Deadskins’ backup no-name running back which isn’t a great sign for Jones owners. Plus, they’re facing the staunch Eagles run defense. Sheath Jones for the time being if you have the luxury.

Jay Ajayi – This guy is just nothing more than an average football player. The Dolphins season is lost, much like my conscience.

Chris Ivory – Why did they sign this dude again? Maybe they should have spent that money on the offensive line and a “Football Coaching for Dummies” book for head coach Gus Bradley. Disgusting.

Chris Hogan – Which white receiver will go off this week? Who knows? Who cares? I don’t own any one of em (*laughs maniacally*).

Sterling Shepard – Kudos to you if you sold high after the first three weeks because we’ll probably never see those numbers again. I hope you like six fantasy points a game… and bestiality.

Jacob Tamme – Seahawks.

Antonio Gates – Do me a favor and rub Icy-hot on your testicles. That’s what it feels like watching Antonio Gates play football these days. Daddy, make it stop.

 

 

Thank you for joining me for another edition of Disgrace/Delight. As per usual, I shall answer all questions and comments in the section below. Your wish is my command and I’m commanding you to wish me a happy birthday. Have a lordly week.

  1. Zandy says:
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    Just sold Kelce so I’m all in on Jimmy Graham now….

    Would you drop Brate in order to stream Marriota this week? Or just rather start Wentz?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zandy: z-dog, my BRUH, what did you get in return for Kelce? Wentz has great matchup this week so no need. But if you like Mariota better this week, feel free as you’ll never be starting Brate again.

      • Zandy says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: sent Kelce for Cobb

        Wentz
        Gurley Ingram Charles JStew Ware Jalen/Dwash
        Hopkins Alshon Cobb Floyd woods
        Graham Brate

        • Zandy says:
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          looking ahead Wentz faces Minnesota next week…
          If I drop brate for a streamer may as well pick one that works for both this week and next (or just next)

          What say you
          Marriota vs Cle, vs Ind
          Cousins vs Phi, @Det

          • Tehol Beddict

            Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Zandy: Mariota has higher ceiling. Cousins always solid tho. Either way is a must

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Zandy: Love it bruh

  2. William Hung says:
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    My roster is now –
    QB – Matt Stafford
    RB – Jennings, Jones, Foster, DeAndre Washington, Dion Lewis
    WR – AJ Green, A-Rob, Jarvis Landry, DeVante Parker, Chris Hogan
    TE – Olsen
    K – McManus
    DEF – Minny / KC (fill-in)

    I might have a blackhole @ RB this week cause I need to play Jones and JEnnings/Foster are “questionable”…

    Should I drop DeAndre Washington for Devontae Booker?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William Hung: nah I don’t think so. My Duke university doctor said Murray could miss a few more weeks so Washington still a high upside play at time. Booker simply handcuff

      • William Hung says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Hope you’re right… I need Washington’s upside this week over playing Jones in a tough matchup.

        At least I get Foster back this week and should get me 10-11 points in .5 PPR since Tannehill has regressed into Checkdown Charlie Whitehurst

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @William Hung: oh taaaaaaaanny boy, these pipes are clean

      • William Hung says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Were you joking about the Duke doctor? I tried to find info on Murray’s injury and it sounds like he’s coming back this week

          • William Hung says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: No! I was unaware of this gem – will this help me get out of my unlucky rut????

            Oh man, I just picked up Britt for this week too – now I’m wondering if I should drop him for Conley. :(

            • Tehol Beddict

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @William Hung: Conley is a true home run type of play. Britt has much higher floor in my opninon

          • William Hung says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: Is Theo Riddick hurt or was this just a maintenance day off? I hate reading too much into players not practicing on Wednesday, especially since AJ Green didn’t practice either and I was also unaware of any injury

            • Tehol Beddict

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @William Hung: a lot of guys sit on wed. total mait day for sure

  3. RonnieMatt says:
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    I need some WR depth but Im just not confident in WR’s as they are so hit or miss. I have La’veon, Lamar miller, CMike, and Howard at RB. I have edelman, demarious thomas, randall cobb, and John brown. Do you like edelman and mike for Mike evans or CMike and edelman for Jordy Nelson? My WR just have been as I expected so Im trying to consoloditae my RB assets for a true WR1. Standard points

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @RonnieMatt: the Mike Evans trade it is. How exquisite. You’ve mastered this art form. Truly. Honestly

  4. Nate says:
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    I noticed you have Jonathan Stewart pretty low in your rankings – is that just because it’s not for sure that he’s gonna play yet? If he plays, he’s got a pretty friendly matchup against New Orleans. In fact, I came here to ask if, assuming both of them play, I should start him over Eddie Lacy.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nate: exactly. I will be updating all week as these are just initial. He should play and he will be much higher than he is now. I’m still feeling Lacy tho depending on his situation. Hard to trust either but I think pack put it on Dallas this week

  5. Benny says:
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    Who do you like more ROS – Travis Benjamin or Will Fuller?

    Also, would you trade Fuller for Doug Martin?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Benny: tough call. Benjamin I suppose. How badly do you need a running back,Benjamin? Probably a solid trade with the upside being all on your end

  6. chad says:
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    Should I deal Christine Michael for Alshon Jeffrey plus Foster or D. Jackson?

    My RBs Elliott, Freeman, Michael, West, Ware, Langford, Morris, Ajayi, Lewis (IR)
    My WRs are Julio, Floyd, Dorsett, Lockett, Kerley

    Seems like a no-brainer, but who should I add with Jeffery , Foster or DJax?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @chad: that’s tough call on the second add piece. Ur thin at wideout so I’d prob take D-Jax who is bound to explode here as I can’t take much more ineptitude

  7. John says:
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    Thanks for the article. In my standard scoring league I’m getting trade offers for J Charles. Do you think Charles will be a good RB2 the rest of the season? That’s all I need him to be, since I have D Johnson. What are your thoughts on Charles? Thanks.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @John: You’re welcome, little John. I appreciate you. I think Charles will be ok. Im very curious to see how he does. I obviously have no clue. Ware will probably steal goal line carries but he should be viable number 2 and def a number 3

  8. ryanoger says:
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    .5 ppr league

    DeAndre Washington or Spencer Ware (bench spot)?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @ryanoger: Ware, no question at this point.

  9. MJP says:
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    In a 12-team Haf-PPR auction league I was offered A.Robinson for Pryor and E.Sanders. Should I take it? Te format allows for 3 WR and no flex, and my WR1 is A.Brown and WR2 OBJ

    Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @MJP: That would be quite the sexy 1,2,3. I have no problem with that. go for it, connect 3

  10. Matt says:
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    Blount or Foster for the rest of the season?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Matt: Blount. I believe Blount has already seen the high point of his season but Foster is old, injury prone, and on a horrible team that has no incentive to play him

  11. Adam says:
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    Would u trade Melvin Gordon and Marvin jones
    For Allen Robinson and tj Yeldon ??standard

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Adam: Yikes, that’s a tough one! Yeldon is absolutely worthless, which makes this difficult for me. Gordon has no comp at RB so I’d probably hold

  12. Random Collmenter says:
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    Should I trade Yeldon for Dez in a .5 PPR keeper league? I need some WR help. Here’s my team:
    Rodgers
    Kelvin
    Fuller
    David Johnson
    Ingram
    Kelce
    Yeldon

    Bench: Meredith, Henry, Ertz, both D Washingtons (OAK and DET).

    Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Random Collmenter: ummmm, yaaaaaaa. Hurry up and buy before he/she smartens up. I BEG YOU

  13. omar says:
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    12 team 1pt PPR. Made some recent trades and am now real thin at RB.

    Roster:
    QB – Big Ben
    WR – A-Rob
    WR – Hopkins
    RB – Lamar Miller
    RB – Kenneth Dixon
    TE – Gronk
    FLX – Diggs
    BN – Tyrell Williams
    BN – Tyler Eifert
    BN – Dion Lewis
    BN – Enunwa

    Thinking about offering Gronk for Carlos Hyde and Barnidge. Drafted Gronk at the first turn, even though I didn’t feel good about it. Hyde has been a bell cow, and I’m intrigued by what he could do with Kaep potentially opening up running lanes for him. Barnidge would hold me over (and McCown will be back soon) until Eifert starts producing.

    Too much to give up? My other option would be to play the WW until Dion Lewis comes back, but we don’t know when that will be or how effective that will be. Just thinking if Eifert can give me anything close to Gronk, I could really use the RB upgrade.

    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @omar: Omar, minus the d in the b shizz!

      You may need to do it considering that Dixon is your number TWO?!!?!? YIKES! and you have Eifert. i would hate to give up Gronk but you may have to do it. See if there’s any other takers out there for level one running backs before you pull the trigger.

  14. Teddy ball game says:
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    Howdy man!!

    .5 ppr league the dust has settled on waiver wire Wednesday, I got Dwayne Allen off waivers – my other TE is Witten & Rudolph has a bye.

    Hold onto Allen or drop for either ; fozzy Whittaker, CJ spiller, gillislee, Paul Perkins, Alex Collins, josh ferguson, Smallwood. Fozzy clears waivers tomorrow if someone has claims for him I won’t get him I’m 10/10

    For WRs there’s lafell, Davante Adams, Torrey smith, perriman, Tyler Lockett, Eli Rogers.

    My RBs are David Johnson, Melvin Gordon, Jordan Howard, Derrick Henry, andre Ellington.

    My WRs Hopkins, Hilton, fuller, Shepard, Hogan, Cameron Meredith, we have Two IR slots I have moncrief & Sammy Watkins there.

    Next Would you move my Melvin Gordon to receive CJ Anderson? I’m worried about Booker there stealing carries.

    What about trying my Melvin Gordon for Lamar Miller?

    I don’t have a prob hanging onto Melvin Gordon just didn’t know if ROS you liked the other RBs over Gordon?

    Or package Shepard + Hogan for a RB for depth? What level RB would you try for then?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Teddy ball game: I would just HOld on Allen. Those other guys are useless. how many teams are in this league? ?I’d be interested in grabbing Lockett now that he’s had a chance to heal the PCL. TOrrey could be interesting with Kaepernick but probably pretty hit or miss. stacked at running back in top 3 so you good there. I would be fairly comfortable moving Gordon for Anderson but it’s probably not gonna be a huge upgrade. Gordon has no competition at running back there in San Diego.

      Now getting Lamar Miller might be interesting as you’re buying low and he is probably about to explode. I would probably make that move now if you could.

      I would also def package Shepard and Hogan. probably could expect lower level guy maybe a Jonathan Stewart or something. maybe Christine Michael. that’s who I would target. You’re the man and I still can’t thank you enough for your support

      • Teddy ball game says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        Thanks bud! Love your insight! It’s a 10 team league thoughts on my QB situation this week? I was thinking of starting Matt Ryan but a very tough match up on the road at Seattle . Would you sit Ryan ? On the wire there are wentz (@washington), Alex smith at Oakland. On my bench there’s rivers who I started last week but he also has a tough matchup plus I hate starting guys on Thursday lol well it worked for last week with David Johnson

        • Teddy ball game says:
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          @Teddy ball game:

          Would you be ok dealing My Shepard + Meredith, or Shepard + hogan as a buy low for Doug Martin? The Doug Martin is loaded at RB but hurting at WR; at RB he has bell, crowell, CJ Anderson, muscle hamster, Charles & Jennings . He lost decker &a he was his WR1 his WR1 now is golden Tate

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Teddy ball game: yep first with that first trade for sure . Pull ittttt

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Teddy ball game: maaaan, tough call! It’s supposed to be. Legit storm this Sunday here BRUH! It may be very nasty out there so maybe you should prepare for another option. Smith solid this week. Who else there?

          • Teddy ball game says:
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            @Tehol Beddict:

            I did want Carr but he was added this AM, just Checked not a lot of options For qbs:

            Fitzpatrick (@ Arizona)

            Hoyer (vs Jax)

            Flacco (@ Giants)

            Kaepernick(@ buffalo)

            If the guy drops Carr I may pick him up , not sure why he added Carr he has russel Wilson

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Teddy ball game: yep. Smith probably safest option there. That’s what I’d do

  15. Son

    Son says:
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    How you don’t have Billy Bush’s job and fame is beyond me. May the liqs be flowing, the trees be burning, the booties shaking, noses snorting, titties bouncing, and panties subsiding on your day of birth.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Son: I need that job so badly. I deserve it. it’s gonna be a wild birthday. Preciate cha

  16. Big league choo says:
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    10 team standard

    Just lost decker for year….short bench golden Tate hit the waiver wire, do I lose Rudolph and roll with Jesse James/gates/Henry this week and hope to get him back? Or hold and just drop decker for Te replacement this week?

    Qb Big Ben
    Rb McCoy, Forte, Hill, Stewart
    Wr ODB, Fitzgerald, Sanders, J Brown
    tE Rudolph

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Big league choo: Just drop Decker. he’s finished. why would you not drop him ?

      • Big league choo says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: talking about rudolph

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Big league choo: I’m confused. so you’ve already dropped Decker? I’d hold Rudolph if you can. whats the rest of your bench looking like?

  17. TTRA1N says:
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    Some of the comments had me rollin haha. Should I drop M.Floyd or K.Dixon for D.Booker? Start Wentz or Mariota? 6pt pass td 12 tm ppr.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TTRA1N: I’m glad you found them humorous. Sometimes, I think I’m the only one. I like Wentz in a soft matchup. but Mariota prob has higher upside. No need to swoop Booker at the moment but I have ZERO problem dropping Dixon for him

    • William Hung says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: good to see one person on Razzball Football maintain a weekly podcast *cough* Jay *cough*

      • Tehol Beddict

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @William Hung: shots fired. and that’s probably also my fault considering I’m usually working during the razz pod time

  18. Old Dirty says:
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    1/2 point ppr – 12 man league – 4 player keeper league

    I wanted to run a trade offer by you…
    Trade Evans and ryan for Hopkins and Hyde

    Qb – Wilson
    Rb – freeman
    Rb – Crowell
    Wr – ab
    Wr – Evans
    Te – Julius Thomas
    Bench – ware , Jennings, t. Benjamin, Sheppard ryan

    Thanks !

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Old Dirty: im fine with that. you need another running back. ur buying high on Hyde but Hopkins is savage and Crowell could fall off

  19. Zandy says:
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    Stash Watkins??

    • Zandy says:
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      Or rather stash Dwayne wash?

      • Tehol Beddict

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Zandy: no on Wash

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zandy: i am but its probably not greatest move. if you have spot that’s not costing you its def worth it tho as he could put over the top at end of season

      • Zandy says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: so given my roster above
        Who are you dropping Brate for?
        Dwayne Wash, Watkins, Tavon, Forsett, spiller, Eli, Cousins (@Det next week), Mariota (Ind next week) Starks, Ladarius, Rainey, Darkwa, DGB
        ((Wentz gets min next week))

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Zandy: are you ole dirty ?

            • Zandy says:
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              Oh no I’m not the guy commenting above if that’s your q haha

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Zandy: oh I was wondering

  20. Los Putos says:
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    D Martin over Yeldon? (Martin is a FA)

    SEA D over HOU D ROS?

    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Los Putos: Yes, Yeldon is butthole.

      Seattle Defense no question.

  21. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Tehol! Adams, Austin, Britt or Floyd in a full point, PPR league? Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jerry: Jerry! Very tough call. I guess Britt right now

  22. Justin says:
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    Someone offered me dez for my deandre Hopkins. Standard scoring. Which side?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Justin: probably Hopkins

  23. Peep says:
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    Forte, Kenneth Dixon, jacquizz Rodgers, devanta Parker for Amari cooper, Rawls, tevin coleman

    What do you think?

    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Peep: just do it like Nike say and all that b

  24. William Trill Cauley-Stein says:
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    Tehol! This a safe place for some locker room talk? Mind helping me out this week? I am in a ten team .5 PPR league.

    QB1-Bortles or Prescott?
    RB1- D. Murray OR L. Miller OR Yeldon OR Lacy OR J. Hill?
    RB2- C. Michael OR J. Hill OR Lacy OR Yeldon or D. Murray OR L. Miller?
    TE- Kelce OR Z. Miller?
    WR1- Fuller
    WR2- Meredith
    F- L. Miller OR Lacy OR Z. Miller OR Hill or Yeldon?
    D- PIT OR TEN OR Rams OR BAL?
    K- Crosby

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William Trill Cauley-Stein: very safe !

      BORTLES
      Lamar Miller
      Murray
      Kelce
      Lacy at flex
      Got upside of Rams d

  25. Christian Herman says:
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    I’m up 2 with Quincy & the other SOB has cards d. Your 80 yards and a score prediction sold me. Wish me luck.

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