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Week 3 was a crazy, crazy week. Thanks Trump! I kidd. Blake Bortles, Case Keenum, and Eli Manning all threw for at least three touchdowns, with Bortles throwing four! The Jets dominated. It gets crazier, though. Eight of the games on Sunday had the road teams as favorites. The Jaguars, Colts, Bears, Jets, Bills, and Redskins all took care of business at home. Bow wow wow yipee yo yipee ya! Home dogs! The Lions should have won and the Chargers…well, just scroll down to the recap of that game and all will become clear.

The 2017-2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues for Basketball are now open. Get more info and join here!

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Before we begin, yes, you did just read team name created by a meme that died probably 12 years ago, but this team name brought me fantasy glory last year, so deal with it.

Welcome everyone to Week 3 of the NFL season! If you’re like me, you’re absolutely pumped after watching an excellent Week 2, and an even better start to the 3rd week with that highly-entertaining and highly-shocking Thursday Night Football game. I mean, where did that come from?

Anyway, today is Saturday, and you know what that means! It’s time to get to some Razzball-certified picks and players to help you guys out with those lineups.

Let’s get to it!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

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Greetings! Is it Week 3, already?! Holy O’hemlock, time is flying by, yet it’s frozen for me somehow. As I lay here, chest’a-flat on this one of a kind gargoyle-engraved marble bench in the depths of Beddict manor, I can’t help but question some of my life choices as I ponder my next move. I envision that many of you may feel the same way: Did you marry the right squaw/man? Why did you let him/her talk you into that third pet, or third child for that matter? Why is your son a quarter black? Why are you in that cubicle, working for some filth you despise, checking your Facebook account every five minutes, wondering if you should buy that seemingly incredibly crafted waist-trainer for your significant other? Would that make you want to bang him/her again? Probably not, but it’s something to waste more meaningless time with, giving you a glimmer of hope that one day, MAYBE, possibly, you could make love to your mate again and not have to envision some celebrity, hot third cousin, or you children’s friends or whatever sick fetish that is now festering inside you like a rotting, maggot-infested weasel corpse. Anyway, who’s ready for some football?

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

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It’s hard to believe that it’s already Week 3, but we also need to remember that it is ONLY Week 3. Human instinct tells you to sell off or drop your struggling assets because they haven’t helped you win in the first couple weeks. Mike Lombardi states it best when he says that September is basically an extended preseason. I try not to overreact to bad performances when I’m writing my articles this early in the season. When I tell you I’m cold on Cam Newton or another star, it’s just to have them wait it out on the bench.

There are always certain situations like Adrian Peterson that were head-scratching from the start. Having three backs rotating on the field in a pass heavy offense doesn’t make any sense. I’d drop him, at this point because there are always exceptions to the rule. Obviously, there are always guys who were on the fringe of being roster-worthy in the first place that should be dropped to pick up waiver wire studs like Tarik Cohen. Don’t panic on A.J. Green or Joe Mixon until we see what the new offensive coordinator has in store. Wait to see if Sammy Watkins can develop a rhythm with Jared Goff over the next three or so weeks. Same with Isaiah Crowell, his schedule is going to get a little easier over the next few weeks. This is also the perfect time of year to buy low on the Cincinnati offense or Terrelle Pryor Sr.

Here are my rankings for Week 3…

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Crowd chants: “WE WANT JEN! WE WANT JEN!” I know, I know, sometimes real life gets in the way. You probably woke up this morning expecting your usual Hit it or Quit it article and were disappointed to see the picture of Diddy at the top of the football blog but I promise you that we will get through this together. Jen will be back next week and if you would like to check out my regularly scheduled Monday programming, you can find it here.

And now, are you going to Hit it… or Quit it?

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Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

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…Because I Always Welcome Another Thing to Disappoint Me.

Wait, we’re already rebooting Spiderman again? Oh, hey, quick question, anyone know who sponsored the SNF opening? Was it T-Mobile? Sprint maybe? Also, you should know that Von Miller was jumping with butt-flames before it was hip…

Welcome to what I call “Jay’s Review”… since, you know, I’m Jay, and this is my review of Week 1. Spoilier Alert! (That probably should have gone before the last sentence, but f*ck it, we’re doing it live!) For many of you who’ve been wandering around my Razzballs (haha, get it?) for the last four years, you’ve seen the site go through minute but incremental changes. Kinda like the world in general. So DEEP. And so this season, we’re bringing yet another minute and incremental change… If you hadn’t noticed, Matt Bowe led off the day with his take on what happened Sunday… you should check it out. I think it was a love letter to Kenny Golladay, but whatever. Having such an informative asset (potential double entendre alert!) in terms of both Football and Fantasy Football will allow me to spread my wings and fly. Right over to your mother’s house. It’s no secret that I like having a little fun… probably a little too much fun. For those of you who want deep analytics like how I want to watch Deep Impact over and over again (Armageddon is in my top-10, lest we all forget that asteroid movies are my fetish) and some usable fantasy information, Matt’s your guy. If you’d like to have a little fun with what happened Sunday, experience some jokes, watch some great plays in GIF form, create some hot takes, AND still enjoy some “measured” usable fantasy information, welcome to my club! We get spiffy hats. Just kidding. I just get the spiffy hats. TL;DR – Why so serious? See Matt! Want to see me in a spiffy hat? See me!

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another day closer to kickoff! Tonight, the Chiefs and Patriots will play, and all will be right in the world. Except for multiple hurricanes, tropical storms and wildfires throughout the country. Let’s get to football!

If you are new here to Razzball and this post, don’t hesitate to quickly brush up on my preview article, where I go over what this article will entail, as well as talking about the fantastic tools we offer here at Razzball! So let’s get into some Razzball-certified picks today at every position, helping you conquer your Week 1 matchups, with some DFS analysis along the way.

Let’s get to it!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can you guys feel it? Football is back baby! It feels forever ago that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead, and now, for the first time in 7 months, we now can get back to meaningful football! I can’t wait! I can’t wait to fall asleep on my couch to the soothing voice of Scott Hansen, waking up and getting frustrated that my players are doing absolutely nothing, only to realize that it’s only the 2nd quarter and then falling back asleep to avoid watching Houston vs. Jacksonville.

It’s going to be a fun and hopefully very long season, so let’s jump right into it with my Week 1 rankings!

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Hello everyone, here are my Top-200 rankings for 2017! It’s my first ever attempt at one of these, so please leave any thoughts and comments about any such player or decision below. Hopefully I can follow in the footsteps of the great rankers before me, Jay and Tehol (soon!), and now Matt Bowe! Check out our entire 2017 Draft Kit with so much analysis and rankings that will have you on your way to fantasy dominance in the 2017 season. Enjoy!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Join here!

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s fantasy football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

Please, blog, may I have some more?