Well, this is it, the last required information dump (hehe, dump) for the masses in preparation for your 2014 Fantasy Football Draft. And here it is, the auction values have been released. But I’m guessing you already knew that, because, of well, ^. For those of you who have never played in an auction draft, or for those of you who do nothing but make it rain when you here the words Jamaal and Charles in the same sentence, I’ll go over some pointers so as to facilitate moderate to heavy alcohol consumption without the fear of drafting David Wilson.

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So, as you may know, or not know, and for those of you who do not know what I know that you know about what we both don’t know… uh, my computer just turned off. But, as I was saying,while having a stroke I guess, I don’t like calling myself an “expert”. Unless we are talking about browsing Redtube.com. I can do that for days. But in terms of fantasy sports, I prefer to just call myself a “writer”. A glorious and complicated descriptor, I’m sure. I have to say though, there are fantasy football experts out there, they do exist. How do I know this? Because that’s what they call themselves, and that’s okay! It’s not like they give degrees out for this stuff (though, they really should have so I would have payed a lot more attention in college…), so it is what it is. And this season, I was invited to take part in an experts league, (which I’m sure will be a surprise if you don’t read post title’s), called “The Fantasy Legends League“. Surprise! And how did your very own Jay do? Follow me after the jump to find out!

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hi-res-183966130-quarterback-cam-newton-of-the-carolina-panthers-warms_crop_north

Hey, wait, where’d all my receivers go?

Why you no like Cam Newton? What did Cam Newton do to you? Be a top-4 overall scorer just last year? A top-5 QB in all three of his NFL seasons? Late round gold in 2011? Why all the hate? Why is Newton being drafted after guys like Cordarrelle Patterson, Shane Vereen, Ray Rice, Jordan Cameron, and Joique Bell? Those are three committee backs, a TE who had a boom early last year and disappeared for another large chunk of it, and a receiver who’s tied to a Matt Cassel run offense. Seriously! I gots mad questions yo! I’ve seen these sorts of players drafted ahead of Newton in almost every draft I’ve done on numerous sites. He’s currently rated 45th overall on ESPN and 54th on Yahoo, and I’ve gotten him in the 7th round a couple times already this year, in 12 team leagues at that. If past performance holds true, It’s safe to say he’ll outperform that draft position.

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2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) |  Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

Well, this is it folks. We are nearing the end of what was a glorious and scrumptious set of weeks going over the bulk of our fantasy rankings. Coincidentally, glorious and scrumptious is how I’m described at most dinner parties. With a hint of lilac and ginger. So I’m basically a hot tea. Hot tea. Hottie. HUUUUUUR. Anyways, you should give me a dollar for these set of rankings. Why? So I can give you some quarters back…? I’m simply on fire here. No, I’m serious. It’s the District and we’re in the unbearable humid stage of summer. So I literally need to stick a fire extinguisher between my thighs to prevent chaffed rashes and combustion. It’s like the forest from Fern Gully down there.

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Every fantasy owner wants to show their draft prowess in front of all their buddies. What’s the best way to show your stuff? Drafting rookies that wind up killing it their first year of the NFL. The best example over the last few years is probably Cam Newton.  Not very often does a Cam Newton come out of college and and put up the kind of numbers that he did his rookie year. Will Teddy Bridgewater or Derek Carr be this year’s Cam Newton? Let’s take a look.

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It was an odd year for a position that was so high scoring, truth be told. Health played a huge factor in how guys ended the season, rankings-wise, both their own health and the players who they were throwing to. Like my Physics teacher once told me ‘it all matters’! Or was it ‘it’s all matter’…I got a ‘D’, ok. Not like it would’ve helped me writing for a Fantasy Football site, of course. Why strive to be the best at everything when you can be at least average at one thing, that’s what I always say. In 1QB leagues, you could’ve cobbled together a string of guys and put up top 10 numbers but let’s not kid ourselves: it ain’t that easy, hindsight is always 20/20 and we all know how nice it is to plug a QB into your starting lineup week 1 and forget about it until their bye week. It’s a good feeling that few got to experience this year and for those who did, I hope you enjoyed it…you dirty bastards. But enough of bashing my readership, here goes. Let’s take a look back at the top 20 quarterbacks from the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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Razzball Nation!  I’m filling in for Sky this morning in the football recap, as Sky was called by Al Davis for a possible CB job opening.  That would be scary for multiple reasons!  Man Oakland was brutal.  Long live the Chiefs offense!  Jamaal Charles had a historic game (6th highest fantasy output in non-PPR since 1960), making the Raiders D look worse than some of those Raiders costumes.  The real Rocky Horror Picture Show was the pass D, as JC Superstar enlightened fantasy owners with 8 catches (on 8 targets) for 195 yards and 4 TDs.  Plus an extra 20 on the ground with a score there.  Straight video game numbers!  “RB screen, X, X, X!”  Actually that sounds like a porn title.  I’ll have to ask Tehol about that one.  Charles has been effing fantastic this year, and I think easily the fantasy MVP.  Sure you could argue Peyton Manning, but if you have JC and you’re somehow not waltzing through the playoffs than you only have yourself to blame!  Is he fantasy’s #1 pick next year?  I don’t see how you could resist.  If someone really wanted Adrian Peterson, I’d turn to them after that pick ala the 1,000-year old dude in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and go “he chose poorly…”  While some teams had their dreams melt away, others are marching into the finals with the rest of the week 15 happenings…

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I hate you Chris Ogbonnaya!  Hate you so much.  Chris O-Bones was a hot pickup as a cheap RB for the PPR upside, but nooooooo…. Luckily with daily leagues, you can wipe the slate, officially never pick a guy again, and move on from your former tribulations.

We’re quickly approaching only a few weeks left until the WEEK 17 MILLIONAIRE FINALE, and I’m still eagerly trying to get my ticket on the cheap – so I’m rockin’ out in the $2 Fantasy Millionaire qualifier for Sunday’s games.  After feeling extremely confident last week and losing in a few other contests, I’m only sticking to the one lineup this time.  O-Bones be damned!  And if you’re jones-ing for DraftKings while watching on Turkey Day, there’s all sorts of contests just for the Thursday games to hop into.  So DraftKings it up and enjoy the Holiday!

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Football is a funny sport, especially for a team that rarely gets to be in the spotlight. The last time I remember seeing Cam Newton under the watchful eye of prime time, it was Thursday Night Football, week 3 and it was the 2012 season. Heading into the game, the Panthers were 1-1 and were fresh off a win over a division rival – the New Orleans Saints – and were riding high. It was Cam’s second season in the league and people were expecting great things from the young man. And then September 20th happened and the good times left the building. Cam and company left their home turf after a humiliating loss at the hands of the Giants. After a 36-7 loss, a lot of people – both fantasy enthusiasts and real – began to question Supermans superpowers. Was the guy that looked like he was pouting on the sidelines under his towel really a leader? Was the guy who just threw 3 interceptions really the person that was gonna bring Carolina back to prominence? And so on and so forth and the rest of the season played out and people forgave but never forgot the towel-covered Cam. He was a childish athlete who’d never learn how to play within the game, they said. An egotistical prat who lacked the ability to guide a team to victory, they chattered. And for most of 2012, the people were right. But some light must’ve popped on at the end of 2012 as they went on to win 5 of their last 6. Sure, the Panthers finished 7-9 but there were flashes of the team we saw on Monday last year. We were just too blinded by Cam hatred to see. And of that Cam hatred? Well, to help his team go to 8-3 on the 2013 season, Newton finished with 209 passing yards and 3 passing TDs while leading his team in rushing on the night with 62. Yeah, but you ain’t talking fantasy, Sky, this is all about real football. No one cares. Well you SHOULD care, imaginary reader. This team is fighting for the playoffs. It has motivation and incentive down the stretch to actually win their division and a supercharged Cam can be a Superman Cam at any moment and tonight he definitely was that. Cam looked better than he has in a while in the passing game. I don’t know if it was his receivers stepping up or him playing at another level – I’ll defer towards the former but that’s cuz Cam’s been pretty damn good all year, y’all – but there’s reason for JB to be pointing at the back of that jersey tonight. Cam is legit. Panthers are legit. And now I have to write about other guys and I’m completely spent. In other news from week 11 MNF for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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