Actually, a few have already happened (and we’ll talk about them a bit after the jump), but, just like the title alludes to, the table is set, the forks and spoons are in their right place, and hopefully there’s food ready and on the way. In terms of the RCL universe (since I’m hungry and if there are any more food metaphors, I’ll eventually end up eating my monitor), the “league” has taken shape and drafts are about to begin. (But that doesn’t mean you still can’t create and join your choice of RCLs!) And, I want to touch on this: when I say “league”, I mean league, not leagues. Because ef pluralization… I mean, what has it ever done for me? Regardless, you have to remember, this is one complete universal league. The Milky Way of Fantasy Football if you will, including Antonio Brown, Saturn, and of course, Uranus. Don’t roll your eyes, you knew it was coming. Regardless, what I’m trying to say is, join any league you like, create as many as you want, and be part… of the universe. Mutha. Effing. Deep.

Now, as promised last paragraph (remember the good old days?), there actually have already been some drafts that have taken place (including a league hosted by yours truly, Lord Tehol, and our very own Stan Son!) and we’ll take a look at some of what happened in these three leagues to give everyone a general idea of what a terrible idea it is to draft early. I swear, half my team will be injured by the end of the preseason…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tehol’s Rankings: Top-200 (Standard)| Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR) | RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR) | WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR) | TE (PPR) | K | DST | Top-50 Rookies

Greetings! Football season is upon us, my goodmen! And in the year of your Lord Beddict 2016, dual threat quarterbacks have never been more flamboyantly hot. Russell Wilson, who by the way, just discharged a quart and a half of man juice into Ciara on the night of their wedding nuptials, has a legit shot at being the number one fantasy QB in football this season. With Beast Mode moving on to smoking greener pastures in Oaktown, my Seahawks’ passing game should deliver more scores than the Kardashian Clan at a BLM afterparty. With the continued development of young legend Tyler Lockett, the outside speed of former second rounder Paul Richardson, and the return of touchdown machine Jimmy Graham, the Hawks could conceivably have the most explosive offensive in the NFL. Did I mention Seattle drafted C.J. Prosise, a former wide receiver, to be their third down back, opening up more opportunities for big plays? Also, I’d be doing you no favors if I didn’t bring up the fact that Wilson only had one rushing touchdown last season, even though he ran for 533 yards, and that number is sure to rise like a puff pastry when the yeast and sugar interact. Yes, my goodmen, expect another year of Seahawks dominance. What a time to be alive!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard)| Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) |TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | RB | WR | TE | K | DST | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

Welcome to the first installation of what is to be our 2016 Fantasy Football Rankings! It’s such a big deal, we have to capitalize the whole shebang. Just like your mother. Because, you know, shebangs. Regardless, as you can see right above my lovely remarks about your mother, we’ve had some pretty good success with our “ranking accuracy” the past couple of years. To be totally honest, the past two years, Razzball’s priority with rankings has been consistency, not necessarily a high-risk/high-reward strategy. And I think it shows and I think it’s the better path. Don’t worry, I’m patting myself on the back as I’m typing this, which you might thing is hard, but I’m pretty sure elbows weren’t really created for any other reason than to do this one thing. Any ways, now that the self-aggrandizing part is completed, I have to state, the quarterback position has gotten increasingly… meh. You have basically a mish-mash of top-5 or top-6 guys that you’d all be happy having, and then a whole bunch of interchangeable pieces until you get around to the point where it doesn’t matter anymore. I call that the Andy Dalton zone, or what is essentially the “gingerzone”. Which, come to think of it, would probably be a great 80’s hairband name. Regardless, here are your 2016 Quarterback Rankings, with the added bonus of Mark Sanchez. You know you want some of that nacho…

Please, blog, may I have some more?


I don’t play golf, but it seems to me that week 17 of the NFL season is the fantasy football equivalent of the 19th hole in golf. Sit back, enjoy your frosty beverage of choice, heck have three, and reflect on how you just played. If you are in a league that plays into week 17, find a new league. Seriously, find a new league. Any league that allows the champion to be decided in week 17 is one worth not playing.

While we’re on the topic, two week championship matchups should be a staple in all leagues. A season full of ups and downs shouldn’t be decided in a single week when your mediocre opponent happened to have a lucky week. I’ve instituted this rule in all of my fantasy baseball leagues and it’s due time for football as well. Baseball is a much longer season, but even with football, it makes sense.

It feels like every other week of the season I was writing about Kirk Cousins. On the season he is 10 yards shy of 4000 and has 26 passing touchdowns. He even has 5 rushing touchdowns, second most amongst quarterbacks after Cam Newton. Cousins has been a top 10 QB this season. How did he reward owners that stuck with him in the finals? How’s about 365 yards and 4 touchdowns. Will the real Captain Kirk please stand up. RG3 who?

Please, blog, may I have some more?


It’s adorable that Eli thinks if he grows a beard, it’ll help with his perpetual eight-year-old looking face. You have to be at least 14 to do that…

[Puts hands on hips every single time my team screws up, since I had nothing to do with it. And everyone around me doesn’t measure up to my exacting standards that I haven’t somehow been able to communicate to the team over the last umpteen years, mainly because of them. Totally.] -Tom Coughlin. And thus ends the Giants season, (most likely), but don’t worry, the dream still remains alive that the NFC East division (which I also sometimes call Derpville, Population: NFC EAST), won’t have a team that will finish above .500. All that stands in the way is competence from Washington. Haha, we all know what that means. Also, Cam Newton threw another set of about 20 or so touchdowns in the first half and finished the game with 5,258. While that’s partly the Giants being the Giants, it’s hard to deny that Newton has had a MVP-caliber season on a team that’s expected to go far into the playoffs. It’ll be interesting to see how the actual vote settles, with Tom Brady doing Tom Brady-like things and other, whiter players in the mix. I’m sure we can depend on the complete objectivity and unquestionable ethics of all the sports writers to come through. And since the award will be based on the merits, the MVP will probably go to… Peyton Manning.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 15’s Sunday games…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of the most difficult words to say in the English language has five letters and starts with an ‘s’. Any guesses? You could go in a multitude of directions here, and before you take it down the avenue that garners a solid (not the word) ‘That’s what she said’ from Michael Scott (also not the word), let me just try to get this out.

So…wait. (Exhale). Ok, deep breathe. Let’s try again.

Sor…nope! Not easy. Just simply too much pride in the male ego. But we can do this. If Justin Bieber can sing an entire song about it, I got this.

SORRY. (Cue fireworks, confetti, streamers, balloons and kazoos). Man, I feel a little better now. Do you?

Truth is, the past two weeks on this little advice column have been quite poopy. Call it bad luck, of which a large dose of fantasy football is comprised of, or just bad math, either way it hasn’t been pretty. Each week my goal is to give you great options to compile the best lineup for a 22-man league in FanDuel. Why?

Each week we offer a 22-man Razzball-only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-5 finishers! Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the top of the standings? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 15!

Please, blog, may I have some more?


In his last four games, Cam Newton has thrown 13 touchdown passes. To put that into perspective, on the season Matt Ryan has 17, Jay Cutler has 16, Alex Smith has 15 and Teddy Bridgewater has 9. Newton leads all quarterbacks in rushing yards (480) and rushing touchdown (7). To put that into perspective, only Devonta Freeman, Adrian Peterson, DeAngelo Williams and Jeremy Hill have more rushing TDs. The only player in fantasy football with more points than Newton is Tom Brady. With an ADP of about 89, and the 12th QB taken off the board this season, Cam is defying the laws of fantasy football motion. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Currently at 13-0, the Panthers are staring at an undefeated season. If I were a betting man, which I am, my money says they make it to 16-0. This week he gets the Giants. The Giants defense is allowing 314.8 yards and 1.8 touchdowns per game to opposing quarterbacks. I think a 4 touchdown game is not out of the question.

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-5 finishers in a 22-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Why Razzball? Why you ask. If I really need to answer that question then I think you are in the wrong place. Perhaps you meant to visit where you could fill up on shitty advice from some overpaid, over hyped ding dong. I’ve been trying to figure a way to work “ding dong” into a post all season. Check that one off the list. But while I have your divided attention, I’ll answer it anyway. Is “undivided” attention actually a thing anymore. Heck I’m barely paying attention as I write this post. So you’ll have to forgive my randomness.

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Technically, it’s “Newton’s law of universal gravitation”, but let’s not cut hairs here when it comes to aesthetically pleasing titles. I’m into that whole brevity thing, man. But like Newton’s law — that two bodies in the Universe attract each other with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them, or, like how Paula Abdul explained while singing with a cartoon cat, that opposites attract, Cam Newton has been able to work with what is probably the most underwhelming receiving depth in the league. Not counting the Browns. (You never count the Browns.) I mean, Ted Ginn Jr. is a starter. THIS IS CRAZY. With last night’s win against the hapless Saints, the Panthers are now 12-0 and the only undefeated team remaining. Or, if you live in Carolina, they are now the only undefeated team with a 11-1 record. Regardless, no matter what unfolds the next month, at this point, it looks like the Panthers are set to make their run to the Super Bowl, where they’ll likely face off against the not-Bengals…

Here’s what else I saw during Week 13’s Sunday games…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The heat check. Familiar with it? When you’re comin’ in so hot to a matchup that you feel like you’re as on fire as the Mike D cheat code from NBA Jam TE, you just start trying anything. Shooting from 30′ in basketball, swinging at anything thrown to a catcher in baseball, or attempting to break free in football by running more horizontally than vertically. None of those things I just mentioned are sound decisions, but you’re in the delirium of the heat check. Mr. T and his entire A-Team couldn’t stop you from doing what you need when you’re on fire. But it’s in these moments where you forget what made you so hot…and you get stoopid.

That hot streak you rode in on just blew a tire to send you tumble-weeding face first into the embarrassment of soured achievements. Now before you get all defensive and read this as a prodding of your glorious and gluttonous track record in fantasy football, because I’m sure you’re the king of the world of the water cooler of your work, but deep breath…these fun little analogies are incredibly befitting of none other than me.

A new week, a new storyline. It’s the beauty of fantasy football. Week 10 brought with it some exciting highlights in my fantasy football season: my teams went 7-0, I came out strong in the DFS games, and I began my writing foray here at Razzball covering the weekly game we offer. How’d I finish in my inaugural attempt? 2nd. And with it a little bit of instant clout. I was feeling good about my entry until time failed to stop at Week 10, moved on with the calendar seven days, and brought with it Week 11. Ever had one of those moments in sports where your heat check cooled into something a frigid as Elsa’s fingertips way too fast (yes, I just referenced Disney. You’re welcome.)? Yeah, for Week 11, ‘hot’ was the last thing I was comin’ in as. Week 12? Still didn’t learn my lesson, even though we didn’t offer the Razzball FanDuel Contest. What’s that you ask?

Each week we offer a 22-man Razzball-only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-5 finishers. Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the prize? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 13!

Time to remember what got us here and take advantage of the final week of the fantasy regular season. Here’s how to navigate Week 13 in a 22-man contest…

Please, blog, may I have some more?