Greetings! Forgive me I’m not up to date on current sporting events, for Twitter, whom I fully depend on for all news and information, locked my account for a solid 24 hours! Any Quarterbacks get hurt? Did the Bills announce a starter? My life is meaningless without Twitter and the Elder Gods are known to punish me from time to time, usually when I’m riding high, basking in the glory of some incredible accomplishment, like the time I demoralized the Hilton sisters in a game of naked Twister. By demoralized, I mean that I gave both of them the profound type of hickory sticking that would make even the great Ray-J smile upon me like a proud father. Matter of fact, he was there filming it. Sorry, I’m rambling again, reminiscing about the heroic years that were my youth. But seriously, I haven’t been without Twitter for this long since the last time Sky locked me in his basement. Yes, Sky, I know: It puts the lotion on the skin!

Let’s talk quarterbacks, shall we? I am Tehol Beddict, and this is, Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With preseason, there are always injuries.  It just always sucks from a bitter standpoint when it is an actual usable fantasy product. The loss of Kelvin Benjamin to the Panthers is crushing because they aren’t really quite the offensive juggernaut without him. So what do the Panthers do from the standpoint of making it better for you as a fantasy player? Well, personally, I would like some sort of card or maybe a gift basket laying out their complete intentions about the situation at hand. Unfortunately, I actually requested these things and haven’t heard back from the Panthers’ front office. I don’t blame them… really I was probably asking for a lot.  So from my perspective, I am going to explore what the they will do to replace the basically irreplaceable at this point of the build-up to the season, which is only two weeks away.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues here!

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Greetings! Many of you were no doubt overwrought about my possible whereabouts this past week. Yes, slaying Kings in Canada can be quite dangerous, especially when considering the monstrous killer whales, man-flesh desiring grizzly bears, seals that will bite your dong off when you’re urinating off the bow of the boat, bald eagles that would like nothing more than to peck out your eyeballs, and last but not least, Molson Ice!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jay’s 2015 RankingsTop-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | Rookies |

Kevin’s 2015 IDP RankingsTop-100 | DL | DB | LB

It’s wide receiver ranking time folks, and perhaps more than running backs, I find this position the hardest to work with. Not because it has a boner (though I have no idea how to verify this), but because of the sheer amount of names. There is no dearthness here my friends. And the process involves a lot of research and time, I mean, did you know there’s something called a Boykins in the NFL? I thought Boykins was what the Three Stooges did to each other all those years. Also, I was quite surprised that New Orleans did, in fact, have wide receivers on their depth chart. I had just assumed they were going to line-up 10 blockers and have Drew Brees throw to himself. (This is an annointed power given on high to the Breesus, as prophecy states.) Boy was I off. That’s actually going to be Buffalo’s strategy with EJ Manuel. But that’s not all I learned. Yes, you might be surprised by this… completely astounded I tell ya, but I also have some fantasy knowledge to drop. CRAZY, I know. So let’s get fantasy relevant… (That’s what she said. Uh, wait, that doesn’t really work here. I mean, it does, but it’s not really the strongest joke I could have put out there. Not sure why this is still a thing…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I touched on in the Way-Too-Early 2015 Rankings, we’ll be using Razzball’s 2014 Rankings as context to sorta-kinda make sense of where the value has gone, who surpassed expectations, and who didn’t. It should be an interesting exercise, if only to talk about something football related until the preseason starts taking shape, which should be in about 18 years, or what it seems like. Good news is, I guess it’s legal? Today we’ll be going over Quarterbacks and how the landscape has changed. True, 95% of that landscape is Peyton Manning’s forehead, but there are some interesting things going on with the other 5%.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

dezcatch

Welp, what the refs giveth, the refs take away. Something like that. And so it goes for the Cowboys, who saw their season come to end, not with a Romonobyl, but with a whimper. After a “questionable” call in last week’s wild card game against the Lions, which the NFL spent the entire week trying to triage, the brutal karma of it all reared it’s head in the ugliest way possible: The dreaded “Calvin Johnson Rule”. For those of you unfamiliar with this rule, which get’s enforced about two times per decade, here’s the wording:

If a player goes to the ground in the act of catching a pass (with or without contact by an opponent), he must maintain control of the ball after he touches the ground, whether in the field of play or the end zone. If he loses control of the ball, and the ball touches the ground before he regains control, the pass is incomplete. If he regains control prior to the ball touching the ground, the pass is complete.

I guess you could technically rule this the correct call, but I would point out that Bryant’s elbow is down first and the play should end right there. Or just from a simple eye test (you can see a better angle after the jump), this looks like a catch. OR you could conclude that Bryant went to the ground with his feet during the process of the catch, and then proceeded to do a “football play” by diving for the end zone. But what do I know? I will say this… I’m not sure Dallas fans can gripe about bad judgement here… Rick Perry is the elected Governor of Texas after all.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

It’s been commonplace around here to poke a bit of fun at Joe Flacco’s expense, and I have to admit, it probably starts with me. Look, I don’t actively root against the eyebrow guy. Granted, I don’t root for him either, seeing as how it’s like rooting for a speed bump. But there is a certain something about him that really fascinates me. And that can essentially be boiled down to the the gift that keeps on giving… and that’s the process for measuring how elite Joe Flacco actually is (not just his eyebrow(s), which are too f*cking elite). Well folks, I think it’s time, once again, to go through this process once more. After a convincing win against a Steelers team that was clearly missing LeVeon Bell and any semblance of a third down defense,  John Harbaugh said this after the game:

“Joe Flacco, what can you say… He’s the best quarterback in football.”

Well, first of all, don’t lead this off by asking “what can you say”. I can say a lot of things, and none of them would be what you said, John. Granted, yes, Flacco has a long history of being part of a lot of successful Ravens teams, including a Super Bowl ring and being the only quarterback in NFL history to win a playoff game in each of his first five seasons. Of course, there’s also the fact that he’s not really that good of a quarterback. But hey, when you’re just elite enough to win, who cares?

I guess I don’t. Then again, I’m now realizing that the Ravens vs. Patriots media extravaganza might be something I could have done without… been there, done that, ya know? Wait. What’s that you say? We’re going to have a Petyon Manning/Andrew Luck narrative to deal with as well?

post-30744-not-like-this-not-like-this-gi-DBvb

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s up Razzicans! If you are still here, you are either still playing or just can’t let us go. If it’s the latter, then all I can say is watch this and don’t take it personal. I’m kidding, glad to have you. We’re doing something a little different this week to close out the 2014 fantasy season. I’m also writing this post with my pants on for once. (It’s about as awkward as that one time I wore boxers to gym class during wrestling week.) Here is the breakdown, I’m covering the NFC games and my boy Ralph is covering the AFC later today. I’m gonna gloss over the players that should be usable and play the whole game or at least have some level of relevance.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

You know, I don’t really hate giving the lede to the NFC South, and if you’ve been spending any time here at Razzball, you know that I find this division so very… satisfying. Not in the good way, like, wow, this NFC South man, it gives the greatest head type of way. No… but to be honest, I have felt similar sensations. It’s the satisfying “oh my god, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, so I’ll just laugh at it and celebrate it for being the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” type of thing. But the fact remains, I don’t hate talking about it. So at what point does it become masochistic? I mean, we are talking about the day after fantasy football “Championship Week”, probably the most masochistic weekend in all of fantasy sports, so yeah, it’s going to be theme. So with the Saints losing to the Falcons, we now have a NFC South “Superbowl” with the Panthers visiting the Falcons to decide who gets the home playoff defeat. Yes, the Saints are as good as eliminated, but if I understand math correctly (I really don’t), if this game ends in a tie, the Falcons, Panthers, and Saints will all just trigger a nuclear reaction that will re-birth the universe. What a place that would be! In other Sunday news, it’s apparent the NFL wants a Patriots vs. Cowboys Superbowl, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Then again, I probably wasn’t ready for a 7-8-1 (or a 7-9) playoff team… so there’s that I guess…

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Last Week: 9-5-2, Season Record: 94-69-4 

Greetings! I come to you humbled and begging your forgiveness after my lock of the week pushed this past week, as the Seahawks failed to put their foot on the neck of the Whiners for reasons I’m still struggling to figure out. Myself and the Hawks will make up for it this week, and that’s a guarantee straight from the horses mouth… I’ve been compared to a horse for reasons I’ll leave up to your imagination, and I’m not talking Mr. Ed. Wiiiiiiiilllbuuuuuuur. Put on your big boy/girl thong and let’s get this mula!

Please, blog, may I have some more?