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Before this weekend hit, Calvin Johnson admitted he’d been playing dinged up stating he had suffered nerve damage week 4 which was affecting his grip.  Unfortunately for most of the fantasy community who drafted him, it affected their grip as well as Johnson became constant ‘should I trade him?’ fodder across the fantasy football community.  Not to toot my own horn – namely because I don’t like the idea of saying I toot anything – but I did say to buy low on Calvin after his clunker vs the Bears.  Even with a bad game vs the Seahawks nestled into the last three weeks, I think it’s safe to say that was a good call as today was the game changing Calvin his fantasy owners were looking for.  Despite a fumble, Megatron dropped 207 receiving yards and a touchdown on the beleaguered lineups of his fantasy faithful on 12 receptions and now has 382 yards receiving over the last three weeks.  Safe to say, you’re not getting Calvin from his owners any longer but if you did when I suggested it…well, you’re welcome.  In other fantasy football news…

Chris Johnson – Finished with 134 total yards and a touchdown and was the first running back to rush for over 100 on the Dolphins in 22 games.  Have to say my buy call on him was way off, though.  To quote myself, ‘Let us be perfectly clear: he’s probably not an RB1 back at this juncture and should be treated like an RB2.’  He’s been an RB1 since that call…my bad.  I also mentioned in there you should get those warts checked.  Hope you did.  We’re all about your health and safety here at Razzball.

Adrian Peterson – He’s baaaaaaaaaaack, I say like that little girl from Poltergeist…which is really hard to do.  It was like 4 or 5 octaves above my normal tone.  I hope you appreciated the effort.  Neverthewho, AP finished with 175 total yards on 30 touches to go with a touchdown and a 2 point conversion and currently leads the NFL in rushing.  Don’t think I need to tell you his draft day value was obscene in hindsight as now it’s beating your hindquarters for it.

Joe Flacco – This is the quarterback I thought I was telling you to buy back in October: 341 passing yards to go with 4 total touchdowns (1 rush) and an INT.  With all the defensive injuries the Ravens have, games like this from Flacco should be more frequent as he’ll need to keep pace offensively.  He Joe, whatcha doin with that ball in your hand?  Hopefully scoring fantasy points o’plenty from here on out.

Danario Alexander/Malcom Floyd – Tampa Bay’s secondary is atrocious this year and I ranked Malcom in the middle of the WR2 pack because of it.  Didn’t realize TB was bad enough to produce two fantasy relevant WRs.  If you want me to tout Philip Rivers after this game, you’ve come to the wrong place.  Your team is fantasy relevant until A Rivers Runs Through It.  Oh and this is the first game I’ve noticed the mustache.  Looks like the ‘I Lied’ Rage Comics face….but back to the WR combo: I wouldn’t read too much into their days.  As stated, the Bucs secondary gets its booty plundered more than…yeah, this site is PG-13 I’m not linking to that.

Chris Ivory/Mark Ingram – Now I’m combo-ing these two as they both had strong days but only one got the TD (Ivory and it was a beaut).  They both looked good last week running the ball and nothing changed from then until now except Pierre Thomas NOT looking good this week.  As much as it pains me to say it, Ingram got the Lion’s share of carries this week – sorry Mikel LeShoure, you’re SOL – looked good getting them and might be working on getting the ball more from here on out.  Of course, being the top Saints running back on any given week is not necessarily the most fantasy relevant person to be, we’re also in week 10 so noticing these trends are important for when playoffs/injuries hit.  Not to take away from Ivory but he might be their RB3 when Sproles comes back and might have to battle PT for that honor some weeks.  And this is coming from the guy who called him a sleeper coming into the season so it pains me deeply.  Could be a great chip to sell if someone out there is wild about him after two straight weeks with a touchdown.  Me, I’m buying Ingram and hating myself while I’m at it.

Ray Rice – If someone told me the Ravens would score 55 and Rice would finish outside the top 12 for running backs on the week, I would’ve scoffed, chuffed and guffawed all at the same time, causing such an amazing amount of incredulity that surrounding family members may never have survived my level of disbelief.  And yet here we are, with another nice RB2 week for Rice and my head spinning like the Exorcist, spewing my skepticism everywhere.  There are two things I don’t get in this world: how Two & A Half Men was ever considered funny and how Ray Rice isn’t a bigger part of his offense.  If you’ve ever wondered why Baltimore’s offense is so inconsistent, you need not look any further as to it than this.

Fred Jackson/C.J. Spiller – All week there was talk of getting CJ more touches.  Yeah, never happened as he got 13 to Jackson’s 20 and Fred found paydirt twice for the big fantasy day.  Truthfully, they’re both fantasy relevant backs moving forward as long as Fred’s head injury isn’t serious.  If it is, just go look at the few weeks he was out to see what Spiller can do.  Yeah, he was a top 3 back for like two weeks.  Seems like forever ago now but it happened.

Danny Woodhead – Five touches for 61 total yards and 2 touchdowns…like we all expected.  Truthfully, he didn’t get in the way of Stevan Ridley‘s day – 98 yards on 22 carries and a touchdown – so fantasy owners can’t complain too much about the typical goal-line maliciousness of the Hoodie.  Before you ask, no, that wasn’t Wes Welker out there.  He’s the small white guy that dropped a sure TD pass for the Pats.  I know, they all look the same.  Oh and this will happen from time to time.  It’s why he’s 27% owned in most ESPN leagues.  You know, because he was 60% owned back after week 4 and it takes owners forever to figure out he shouldn’t be.

Michael Turner – Sure, the week I finally trust Turner, he goes for 15 yards on 13 carries but that doesn’t even tell how bad his day was.  His longest carry on the day was for 9.  So on 12 carries, he managed 6 yards.  Oh and he got dropped at the goal line multiple times.  So he only performs well when I hate him.  Good to know.  Stay tuned next week cuz I’m gonna ragequit on this man something fierce.  Hell hath no fury like a  fantasy analyst scorned.

Marcel Reece/Taiwan Jones – Marcel had a fantasy relevant day, especially in PPR leagues as he had 48 yards rushing and 56 receiving on 7 receptions.  In total, he had 20 touches to Taiwan’s 3.  Marcel is also a magician seeing as typing about him has cast a sleeping spell on me.  Not interested unless your league is a PPR and I would’ve said that prior to the game, too though you’ll probably enjoy the matchup next week.  Not interested in Jones unless you score fantasy points for players named after geographic locations.  I drafted Dallas Clark in one league for that very reason.

Eli Manning – Was outscored in fantasy by the amazing duo of Chad Henne and Blaine Gabbert from the Thursday game.  No, not their combined fantasy scores.  EACH. Egads…I mentioned in my fantasy rankings that he finds a way to make you not trust him from time to time.  Looking back over the last few weeks, we can now see the reasoning for that.  On the plus side, Hakeem Nicks snuck back into fantasy relevance this week with 75 yards on 9 receptions.  And I’m done talking about Giants for the post.  Game was atrocious with a capital C-R-A-P-P-Y if you were a Giants fantasy owner.

Reggie Bush – Rushed the ball 4 times for 21 yards, fumbled, then Miami hired Romeo Crennel as their head coach so that he could get benched for said fumble.  Or at least that’s what I think happened.  Came back later in the game…as in way later when the game had already gotten out of hand.  Still, Daniel Thomas only got 5 carries so maybe Miami just doesn’t like running ball anymore.  How they played today as a team made no sense to me period so I wouldn’t react too badly to this situation if I’m a Bush owner; I’d rather react badly to the last three weeks in which he’s only received 32 touches.

Andy Dalton – Though the yards weren’t there today for the Red Rocket -only 199 – he did chuck 4 touchdowns.  Of course, you don’t need yards when the Giants cough the ball up near the end zone all day.  No I’m not giving A.J. Green his own blurb.  You know if Dalton throws at least 1 TD, Green got his on the day and he did with 7 receptions and 85 yards to go with his score.  Fun fact: worst week Green has had this year was game one where he had a mere 70 yards on 5 receptions.  He’s scored at least 1 touchdown for 8 straight weeks.  Wanna know what Red plus Green equals together?  Brown silly!  Yeah, would’ve been funny if they played for Cleveland.

Darrius Heyward-Bey/Denarius Moore – Both had better than expected days.  Ok better than I expected.  I told people to start Kenny Britt over Moore and in one league did that very same thing over DHB.  I’m not only a member, I’m also a client…oh and an idiot.  Truthfully, it wasn’t a great matchup vs a tough Ravens secondary but the score dictated a fling-fest from Carson Palmer.  Oh and because it’s hilarious: coach lets SeaBass kick a 47 yard field goal when OAK is down 17-AlottaPoints.  Hey, if I’m the Raiders coach and I have the OAK kicker for this week, I’d do it too.

Matt Ryan – Tossed for 411 yards and 3 touchdowns in a losing effort to the Saints.  If Julio Jones isn’t out for half the game, I wonder if the real game turns out differently but clearly New Orleans has a 12 hole sieve as a defense out there and they play Oakland next week.  If Carson’s out on your FA, first off he really shouldn’t be but secondly, you almost have to play him next week.

Tony Gonzalez/Jimmy Graham – Was fun to watch the player who changed the tight end position go up against the guy who is reaping the benefits in Graham.  Both were flat out dominant today, combining for 18 receptions, 4 scores and nearly 275 total receiving yards.  If this is really Tony’s farewell tour this year, we just saw him pass the baton down in the bayou.

Scott Chandler You’re welcome.

Greg Olsen – Not used to talking so much about tight end days but can’t leave a two touchdown, 9 rec, 102 yard day from Olsen off the board.  You know, for a team that has both Superman and He-Man, the Panthers really have been fantasy villains most weeks.  Especially to Jonathan Stewart owners.

Kyle Rudolph – I swear this is the last tight end I talk about this week.  Nope, I won’t even bring up Dennis Pitta and his day even though I just did.  Christian Ponder realized play action off of AP frees up his receivers.  I know, amazing.  It even sprung a fantasy relevant day from some guy named Jarius Wright whom you most likely won’t hear from again this season.  But back to Kyle, Rudolph got back into good graces of the fantasy community with 64 yards on 7 receptions to go with the score.  Still like Kyle ROS even with the recent streak.  As long as Ponder remembers how to throw the ball, of course.

Demaryius Thomas – Had a great fantasy day despite not scoring with 135 receiving yards on 9 receptions but I have a warning for you: mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it but a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.  It’s the holiday season, just keep that in mind before the eggnog starts flowing.  Oh and this is the second week in a row he’s left the game with a ding, though he did come back in for both.  So here’s my soft sell for you.  He missed the start of last year with injuries and has been hobbling the last couple of weeks.  If you’re not in a dynasty, I’d look to sell him flat across the board for another WR1 right now.  Playoffs are around the corner, you don’t need one of the main guys who got you into the playoffs taking you out of them just as fast.  What I’m trying to say is don’t let your appreciation for what DT has done turn into tainted love.

Denver Broncos D/ST – Despite what biologists will tell you, Broncos from the Colorado region have 7 sacks.  Oh Denver’s defense had 7 sacks today too…what an odd coincidence.  I toldja about these guys being a good defensive unit way back in September when the scoreboard said they were throttled by the Falcons offense.  They’re currently ranked in the top 5 for fantasy defenses in standard scoring leagues.  Hope you hopped on the bandwagon when you were invited.

Michael Vick – Was knocked out of the game with a concussion in the second quarter and replaced by Nick Foles.  Foles promptly stepped in and filled the void by tossing a touchdown and a pick-6 to go with a fumble for another Dallas defensive score.  Next Eagle to get knocked out with a concussion will be Andy Reid and by ‘knocked out’ I mean ‘fired’ and by concussion I mean ‘extreme anger’.  Honestly, this was probably the Eagles’ season which in turn means Foles might have won the starting job by default after today.  Two QB leagues take notice but I wouldn’t be that excited about Nick.  He looks like Fantasy Foles Gold.

Russell Wilson – Had 34 yards rushing to go with his 188 yards through the air and 2 touchdowns.  It’s clear Seattle is not going to turn him loose this year, but I’d be more than happy stranded on a desert island with Wilson by my side in dynasty leagues.

Marshawn Lynch – I’m officially petitioning Fuel change their ‘Ozone’ song to ‘Beastmode’.  Oh and the ‘she’s’ in there to ‘he’, of course…Ok, it would need a total lyrical makeover but that song just feels Beastmode baby.  Touchdown to go with 150 total yards, albeit with a fumble.  He was questionable before the game.  Anyone who asked if you shouldn’t start him is questionable at fantasy football.

Mark Sanchez – His former college coach Pete Carroll said he might not be ready for the NFL when he declared for the draft.  That was back in 2009.  Well, here we are in 2012 and the Sanch-ise quarterback is getting outpaced in both real and fantasy football by the likes of guys such as Brandon Weeden, Sam Bradford, and even Ponder.  Ok, at least he’s still better than Matt Cassel…but it’s close and really shouldn’t be.  Another week, another chance for a dirty Sanchez pun.  Thanks Mark!

Frank Gore – Aided his team to a tie – seriously, NFL…a tie…really? – with 97 rushing yards and a touchdown while chipping in 18 yards on 3 receptions for the PPR enthusiasts of the world.  I was worried about his value coming into the season with how many bumps and bruises he’s had over the years but the 49ers deserve credit by not abusing him in terms of touches on the year and he’s responded well.  I tip my cap to the savvy owners who saw the value and thought he looked Gore-geous on draft day.  I decidedly was not one of you.

Steven Jackson – First time in what seems like forever he’s seen more than 20 touches in a game and turned in a fantasy-worthy stat line as he went for over 100 yards total on over 30 touches.  Richardson who?  ‘Daryl with 58 yards on only 7 touches, Sky’.  Oh, THAT Richardson.  My bad.  Yeah, I don’t know why he didn’t share the ball with Jackson today like he normally does but it further defines that S-Jax isn’t going anywhere in terms of being a part of that offense.

Danny Amendola – Reality statement: I am glad to see Danny back out there playing.  Just a great guy to watch.  Fantasy statement: I drafted him everywhere and had to drop him in most leagues when he went down and I’m ridiculously angry about it.  Finished the day with 11 receptions for 97 yards as a triumphant return to your fantasy team and not mine.  Excuse me, I’d like to be alone for awhile…

Jeremy Maclin – Cue the Pearljam tune: Jeremy scored a touchdown again.  Where have you been, Maclin?  Went for 93 yards on 8 receptions and a touchdown.  Now he needs to not disappear for two weeks like he has done after having a fantasy relevant week this year.  Don’t know if Foles helps or hurts his chances but I do know the rains in Spain fall mainly on the plain.  Hope that helps!

Golden Tate – Turned in the rare catch and pass TD combo as he gained 51 yards through the air and threw a 23 TD pass to Sidney Rice who himself nabbed two touchdown passes total.  Fantasy fact: I picked up Tate last week as a bye week fill-in for his 2 touchdown performance and promptly dropped him for Laurent Robinson this week thinking he wouldn’t do it again.  Of course, Tate said ‘It’s Britney B****’ and Oops, he did it again.  Still not a big believer for this season but keep him in mind for next year.  Tate is gonna make Wilson look like a Golden God.

Bears VS Texans – Game was cancelled due to extreme weather conditions…oh wait, it has a box score.  Well it looks like they played after all.  Six turnovers and 16 total points scored between the two teams on the night.  Outside of Arian Foster and Brandon Marshall, insert your player’s name here and the sentence will finish ‘didn’t have a good fantasy night’.  Jay Cutler left the game with a concussion and a 16.7 QB rating and the ‘winning QB’ finished with a 37.2.  At least now we know the punchline to ‘what happens when two top 5 defenses clash on Sunday Night Football on a rainy night?’.  Well, lotta nuttin unless you own either defense would be the answer.