by: B_Don
B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back for another Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast. Some changes at QB are shaking things up. Kirk Cousins is out and Josh Dobbs is in for the Vikings, while Kyler Murray may be returning for the Cardinals. Will Levis had a 4 TD day for the Titans, and Matt Stafford and […]
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by: everywhereblair
Where my RazzBowlers at? No, not you fine-looking gentlemen in the front in your bowler hats — y’all simmer down with your fancy headwear. I’m talking about the roughest, toughest imaginary sports managers out there: my RazzBowl peeps. I’m gonna need your powers of manifestation to propel me two spots ahead into the final cutline. Come on, will Tyler Conklin to fantasy glory! OK, OK, my team looks like The Walking Dead, but at least I’m a survivor. Part of my “still in it to win it” status derives from the fact that I get to write this sweet “injury report” every week. As long as y’all are still showing up, I’ll show up and help out. If we run out of steam and I enter my full winter hibernation, then feel free to swing back to this article as the weeks pass and ask questions. Unlike your thankless dog that will wag its tail for any ol’ Joe that drops a handful of steak, I’m still here for you!Â
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: everywhereblair
Everybody having leftovers of that Thanksgiving turphucken? You know, that duck stuffed inside a chicken stuffed inside a pheasant stuffed inside a turkey? Is it even possible to cook something like that without introducing massive listeria problems? How about I just write the inevitable outcome of Thanksgiving football: Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson are gonna run real hard next week because they’ve got food poisoning and need to get off the field. But for the rest of us who ate our feasts the way Yahweh intended — in the form of a takeout burrito bowl and gas station beer — we’re ready to keep chugging and plugging in players on our rosters.Â
Oh, speaking of plugging and chugging [dramatic pause for effect], Coolwhip and I are vying to make the cutline in the RazzBowl. I had this really DFS-brain idea that I would start Damien Harris to make myself different from the field. And I’m sure gonna look different after those 16-yards Harris ripped off before leaving the game on crutches and being so hurt that he couldn’t wear his pants. Me too after Thanksgiving, Damien, me too. Let me know if you’re rooting for me or Coolwhip down in the comments.Â
And a quick “change of programming” note — I’ll be doing the weekly injury report as my only article each week to finish out the season. “The season” is also somewhat flexible — sometime in the next month, let’s say. You’re always free to revisit my articles and ask questions in the comments. Between my various Razzball duties, I’ve skipped only 3 deadlines across 3 sports in the past 3 years (333…I’m half-bestial!), and I need some time to take a break. Please support any of the writers who step in during my winter hibernation and feed them apples and fish heads to show your support.Â
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: everywhereblair
I’m a big fan of the Motor City Kitties. Their 40+ year continuous tank job has set the stage for many a successful Vikings team. Throughout early 2022, the Lions have given fantasy managers so many gifts, and so many headaches. On Sunday, the Detroit Lions blew past the the 7-2 New York Giants, improving to 4-6 on the year and hunting down second place in the NFC North. How’d they do it? The way we all expected: 3 touchdowns from Jamaal Williams and Justin Jackson finishing as the leading rusher. Sigh. At least we’ve got Amon-Ra St. Brown cosplaying as Scrooge with his targets. Tis the season!Â
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by: John Frascella
I can’t help but smile. Week 1 in the NFL was absolutely off-the-walls bonkers. Aren’t you as glad as I am to have professional football back? Before we get down to business here, a very quick introduction: My name is John Frascella and I am a published sports author who has been covering the NFL […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?What’s up everybody? Your usual Sunday roundup author, Donkey Teeth, is in a bit of a predicament, so I’m stepping in to help you catch up on the Sunday games. What predicament is DT in, you ask? Glad to spill the secrets! See, DT is a member of an elite club of adventurers who, upon the release of pumpkin spice lattes in the fall, gather in Los Angeles for their annual Kart Across America race. Donning the costumes of their favorite Mario Kart character, the group hops on actual go karts to race across the great American highways at 20 MPH. This year, our beloved DT — dressed as his hero Wario — took a banana to the face and crashed into an In-N-Out just outside of El Segundo. Of course, he lost his wallet in the crash. He’s also slightly blinded from the animal sauce that got in his eyes. Yet, he wants to finish the race, so he got back on the kart, took some mushroom power, and was last seen drifting by Lake Tahoe.Â
ENYWHEY, let’s take a look at some of the highlights for Sunday’s NFL games for your fantasy football teams.Â
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by: cinthree
For this week’s article I am going to try something new. Let’s get a conversation going on a topic that’s DFS-related but not particularly substantive (and thus probably won’t be the topic of discussion anywhere else). Is it a good thing that the Rams/Chiefs game won’t be on the main slate? I’m not talking about the general point about the value of having the MNF game on the slate (as they used to do a few years ago), rather, just specifically the Rams/Chiefs game, which has the highest total since 1986 and would have had numerous guys who would have been main cogs of your lineup had the game been on the slate (Gurley, at his slightly lowered price of $10,600, and Tyreek Hill at $7,900 would have been two monster plays, Kelce at $7,800, Woods at $7,500, and Cooks at $7,800 would have been expensive pieces but reasonable plays, Josh Reynolds at $5,000 would have been an interesting punt, and while Patrick Mahomes at $9,500 may have been priced out of viability, Jared Goff at $8,300 would certainly be in the conversation). So, what say you, my loyal readers? Feel free to post as to whether you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing that the Rams/Chiefs game isn’t on the slate (or if you think it’s good for cash games, bad for GPPs, or vice versa, that’s certainly an interesting take too). I’d love to hear everyone’s opinion on this…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Seriously. I could not wait for Monday Night Football just to listen to the absolute nonsense from Jason Witten and Booger McFarland, the latter of which should be prepared for someone in the crowd to black out and see a table on top of the #BoogerMobile. But despite that disaster of a football game taking place, let’s look back at at some of the action from Sunday’s games…
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: cinthree
We finally have a decision on Todd Gurley. He’s been an absolute stone cold mortal lock so far this season given that he’s been under $10K for most of the season and was only $10.2K last week – an insanely cheap price given the team he plays for and the role he has on it (namely, that once the Rams get into the red zone, something they do with insane frequency, they just give it to Gurley and let him run it in, and also, they’re the best team in football so they have a big lead late and let Gurley get all the kill-clock yards in the 4th quarter). FanDuel finally jacked his price up to something like $1,000,000,000 (note – it may just be $11,000, as I may be exaggerating for comedic effect). Now it becomes a decision. He’s still an absolute monster. But is he worth it? Ultimately it’ll come down to how comfortable you are with the value that you’ll need to play to roster him. And if you’re unsure on who to play, check out Rudy’s projections here at Razzball!
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Is it not the most awkward damn trolley you’ve ever seen? That it will be on display in Buffalo of all places with a decent chance of vandalism in the forecast for it only makes me more excited for the Pats blowout of the Bills on MNF. While Booger rails against logic and analytics throughout the broadcast and Jason Witten bumbles through introductory 3rd grade math, there is a non-0% chance a member of the #BillsMafia will make a leap of faith from the stands onto the #BoogerMobile. But before that game takes place, there are a couple from the Sunday slate that are worth looking at.
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by: LT Murray IV
Please Note: Most lineups in most formats, including Daily Fantasy, will lock at 9:30 AM EDT (6:30 AM PDT) tomorrow because of the London game. Don’t forget to set your lineups accordingly!
Greetings! What an exhilarating Thursday Night Football game! Exhilarating if you enjoy watching dumpster fires or binge watching beastiality videos. Sometimes the Elder Gods like to remind us that their more meaningful things one can do with their time other than watch football games. Are you, like me, obsessed with all things NFL? Do you bail out on your significant other or turn down invitations to try exciting new things, simply because you can’t stand the thought of missing out on a single play? Sometimes it’s nice to take a breather, get out of the house and enjoy not being tortured by fantasy football for a few hours. I’d like to challenge those of you that are suffering from the same addiction as myself, to get out and at least take a walk to clear your head and think about some positive changes you can make in your life. Like, for example, stop saving money for your children’s college funds, and instead, send that money to me so that I may continue funding my quest to become world famous. I have Paypal. Cool? Cool, let’s talk about some players I like and dislike, shall we?
I am Tehol Beddict and this is, Start Em’, Sit Em’! Take heed!
My rankings have been updated for Sunday’s game and can be found here.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Last Week: 9-5-2, Season Record: 94-69-4Â
Greetings! I come to you humbled and begging your forgiveness after my lock of the week pushed this past week, as the Seahawks failed to put their foot on the neck of the Whiners for reasons I’m still struggling to figure out. Myself and the Hawks will make up for it this week, and that’s a guarantee straight from the horses mouth… I’ve been compared to a horse for reasons I’ll leave up to your imagination, and I’m not talking Mr. Ed. Wiiiiiiiilllbuuuuuuur. Put on your big boy/girl thong and let’s get this mula!
Please, blog, may I have some more?A little birdie told me our 2024 Fantasy Baseball subscriptions are live. The little birdie also said it includes our Draft War Room. You really wanna lose in a fantasy baseball league to a little birdie? Would be kinda embarrassing, tbhhttps://t.co/1ag7IFSYS0
— Razzball (@Razzball) January 8, 2024
