Tolbert Dance

Trying to figure out rankings in the NFC East is no job for amateurs. And let’s just say I’m no expert. First, you have Washington pulling off their own little Super Bowl by coming back and beating the (GASP!) Tampa Buccaneers and moving to 3-4. Then you have the Giants being gifted a win by the video game known as Casselvania. (I knew Romoitis was a terminal illness, but I didn’t realize it was so contagious as well. Unfortunately, Matt Cassel looks to be in the late stages. Very sad. Surprising too, as you don’t usually see Romoitis without Romo involved. Maybe it was a pre-existing condition? Thank goodness we have Obamacare folks.) And then you have the Eagles losing to the Panthers on Sunday Night Football, because the quarterback they have is better at throwing lateral yards than forward yards. I’m telling you, even with a day filled with terrible officiating, the rest of the AFC South getting embarrassed (around the world this week! Making sure that soccer remains the most popular sport in the world…), an unfortunate season-ending injury to a NFL star running back, nothing can compare to the NFC East trying their best to out-derp each other on the way to the division title. The best part of it all is that one of these teams will be actually going to the playoffs… imagine that . It’s like a dream come true…

Here’s what else I saw yesterday during Week 7’s Sunday games…

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Riverboat Ron

The Panthers? In prime time? WEIRD. I had just assumed that any prime time game featuring an AFC South team would be a battle between the Saints and the Saints. Unless those Saints were going against the Falcons. (Note: This does not include Thursday Night Football, which airs the Texans more times per year than the amount of Texans fans total), but lo and behold, the Panthers, sitting at a surprising 5-0 record and holding sole-ownership of the previously mentioned NFC South (which you could normally do with a 2-4 record in past years), Carolina will be hosting the very-innovative-except-when-they-aren’t-innovative Philadelphia Eagles. After a rough start to the season, the Eagles have rebounded somewhat, not by their own accord mind you, they’ve only rebounded because the Cowboys best players died earlier in the season and Washington and the Giants are doing their best impressions of themselves. It could have something to do with trading everyone away twice and then putting Sam Bradford at your quarterback position, but I’m just an innovative writer. Not so much an innovative coach…

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Because of the bye period (which sounds like a LIT-History course at a San Francisco community college) and a frighteningly exciting game (for those of you who were awake) in London, we only have two games this afternoon. The first is my Chargers taking on the Raiders, or the RAIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAHHHHS if you like the cut of Chris Berman’s jib, and seeing as how I highlighted the Chargers afternoon match-up against the Packers last weekend, today’s focus will be on the always derp-filled NFC East rivalry between the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants. I have to say, I remember when the NFC East used to be fondly referred to the “NFC Beast”, mainly because of the division’s focus on the running game and building a team to win in the trenches. Of course, Washington was terrible during this period as well, but little did anyone know at the time that this long-forgotten strategy would be twisted and manipulated and morphed over time into what we have today. The complete opposite. But one things for sure… Washington… Washington never changes. Today’s game once again features a battle for first place, something I’ve been mentioning the past five weeks for any NFC East team, seeing as how no team actually wants it. So how will the Cowboys and Giants end up both losing today? (More possible than you think.) Let’s find out!

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Ah, back to London again. This time, it’s the legendary Bills franchise going against what many to believe to be one of the most historic stalwarts of the NFL: the Jacksonville Jaguars… HAHAHA. It’s almost like we’re trying to restart the Revolutionary War just to do it all over again. Seriously, I thought the NFL was trying to make football viable across the pond, not send teams that we probably wouldn’t remember existed if they never appeared again. Just kidding, no one in Jacksonville currently knows they have a football team. Except these people. Regardless, there are even more tantalizing match-ups this early Sunday, including Washington against the Bucs, Falcons and Titans, Steelers and Chiefs, Texans and Dolphins, and the Browns versus the Rams. Much entertainment. Such wow. Is it just me, or have the last few weeks been vacant of really good games? The only game that could redeem this fact is probably the Jets going against the Patriots, but these are still the Jets, even if they’ve started 4-1. They only peak-Jets when it hurts the most… then again, if they beat the Patriots, it’ll probably be because the media once again over-hyped a team with a mediocre defense, carried by Tom Brady and something called the Gronk. So it should be entertaining no matter what happens…

Today’s Rankings have been updated and can be found here.

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Want to win a Razzball T-Shirt? Try out our new Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and post your favorite below in the comment section. We’ll select a random winner next Thursday!

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This was the only game highlight worth showcasing. Seriously.

I could have watched Fear Factor re-runs and come away with the same general feelings that I left with at the end of this game. In true Thursday Night Football fashion, I wasn’t quite sure what I was watching, and at what approximate time the 49ers actually showed up. I’m pretty sure it was around the third quarter, but my memory of that moment is fuzzy at best, and they must have left quickly thereafter. Maybe they were never there to begin with? (Not that it would have made any difference.) I think it’s fair to say that the Seahawks problem still exist, but lucky for them, teams like the 49ers exist to allow a reprieve comparable to a bye week and the almighty sports term “momentum” to be built. Now, that won’t solve Seattle’s long-term problem of their away jerseys looking like they accidentally washed them with their home jersey’s, but a win here is a start. And look, Jim Tomsula may not be the best rookie coach out there, but I swear to God, he did an absolute fantastic job cleaning my windshield the other day… (And by the way, that was three Pearl Jam songs CBS played last night, for those keeping score at home.)

Join me and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Want to win a Razzball T-Shirt? Try out our new Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and post your favorite below in the comment section. We’ll select a random winner next Thursday!

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It’s been well documented that the dumpster fire the 49ers transformed themselves into this offseason has been a resounding success and ahead of schedule thus far, six games into the regular season. And by success, I mean the fire has gotten bigger, and the dumpster has stayed the same size. In fact, the only redeeming quality at this point is the fact that Jim Tomsula looks to be about as batsh*t crazy as Jim Harbaugh was when being physically emotive. Is it enough to keep the 49ers afloat this season? Of course not, but it certainly improves their watchability. Meanwhile, schadenfreude is in full bloom for the Seattle Seahawks as they sit a woeful 2-4 and are battling the aforementioned dumpster fires 49ers for last place in a division that usually has the Cardinals and Rams taking carry of the NFC West basement. That fact right there makes this game worthy of my attention, even if it is Thursday Night Football. Get your recovery water folks, this should be a good one!

Rankings have been updated for tonight’s game and can be found here.

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Period Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
Week 6 54.0% 84 out of 131 65.2% 45.7% Top 65%
Week 5 54.4% 37 out of 130 59.7% 41.9% Top 30%
Week 4 56.4% 12 out of 135 59.9% 41.1% Top 10%
Week 3 59.1% 18 out of 134 65.0% 42.1% Top 15%
Week 2 53.4% 85 out of 135 65.2% 46.2% Top 65%
Week 1 56.8% 54 out of 137 62.8% 46.3% Top 40%
2015 55.7% 28 out of 125 59.1% 47.9% Top 25%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

Everyone got to have so much fun with Back to the Future yesterday, but since it was my day off on the site, I couldn’t add to the discussion. And now that I’m here, I really have nothing to say that hasn’t been said by everyone else. I loved the movies. I guess that’s my official comment. So, I had something to add, but it was a really short comment (she’s never said that, I swear), and… it really has nothing to do with Fantasy Football. Regardless, the rankings were rough for everyone last week, with the top-20 “experts”, including yours truly, getting discombobulated. I’d say it was a one week outlier, so let’s see how this batch turns out.

Also, as we went over the Future of Razzball last week, tying into the theme of today’s post, we’ve completely revamped our Fantasy Football Team Name Generator, and released it to the masses. That’s you. You’re the mass. And a quite good looking mass if I don’t say so myself. Not only do we have a new Razzball Contest going on this week (join here!), but I’d like to create another fun event for you, the readers.

I’ll be awarding a random commenter their choice of a Razzball T-Shirt simply by testing the new generator (which can be found here) and submitting your favorite team names in the comment section of any post here on Razzball Football up to next Tuesday. I’ll announce the winner during our Week 8 Rankings post. So let’s see those crazy names!

And now, your Week 7 Rankings…

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Everyone have their Philadelphia-patented projectiles ready? Good. Let’s go. Let me just establish right off the bat, I did this. I’m the one who asked for derp. And the derp Gods did not disappoint in the slightest. In fact, the only competent thing about last night’s game was the premier of the newest Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer, (which you can watch after the jump if you missed it, I’ve already watching it like 98 times… in the past hour). To make an apt Grudenism: “THIS GAME, I CALL IT “EPISODE I”, BECAUSE WE’RE HERE FOR STAR WARS, BUT WE’RE SEEING A SH*T-SHOW INSTEAD.” Honestly, if you watched this game, you wonder if Tom Coughlin might be the one to retire before either Manning. And I include Eli, because it might have been a possibility during half time. There were three fumbles, three interceptions, penalties galore, an injured middle-linebacker… and that was just the Eagles! So here’s a very technical football question for everyone: how did they win? Remember, we’re talking about the hurry up three-and-out offense that the Raiders perfected, and that Chip Kelly added his own uniqueness to this season, that was in full force last night… It’s almost as if the teams were playing each other knowing that the winner would win an all expense paid trip to Somalia. So here we are. The Giants beat Washington. Washington beat the Eagles. And the Eagles have now beaten the Giants. The circle of… derp? Yeah, I think so.

Note: I’d like to congratulate the winner of the FanDuel Razzball Contest that ended last night. “ksmily06” was the winner of our 55-player league, and comes away with $60.00 and a free buy-in the upcoming week’s million dollar contest (a $25.00 value)! All top-12 finishers ended up part of the prize pool, and don’t worry, if you missed out on this contest, you can join in the next contest starting this Thursday!

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As any Razzball reader would attest, to me, these NFC East games are always considered to be beautiful bundles of absolute derp. The last prime time divisional match-up was in Week 3 when Washington took on the Giants. In that Thursday Night Live Thread, I had mentioned that the Cowboys and Giants games usually provided enough for my own personal derp quota (along with Washington versus the Gaints), and I feel like I left out this particular divisional rivalry, which has had it’s own highlight moments and unique (lol) fan experiences. This season’s first divisional game between the two teams is interesting in that we get to make fun of Chip Kelly more for being so innovative this offseason, and also keep a close look on Eli Manning to see if he’s learned anything about clock management. To his credit, Manning’s already surpassed Andy Reid in that area. There’s a lot at stake tonight, as we are approaching the half-point of the season still waiting for a team to take advantage of the Cowboys injuries which should have gifted first place to whatever team wanted it. Like a incredulous bizarro game of hot potato, not one NFC East team has taken the bait, and all seem content wasting away in the great football ocean of mediocrity. Which could also describe the Atlantic. So here we are, Monday Night Football and the battle for first place in the NFC East. Smart money says this ends in a tie…

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Good god, what was that?

In what, dare I say, was a pretty good football game for a majority of the time (let’s just agree to not include a very morose and slug-paced fourth quarter), the Patriots continued their trend of deflating balls, cheating, receiving biased officiating, beating the Colts, which, based on recent history, was really no surprise. However, as I mentioned in last night’s Sunday Night Football Live Thread, this game really had no business being close, and it’s a testament to either Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis offense playing competently or the New England defense not being as good as we thought. In this case, it might have been a little of both (not including fourth downs, as shown above). But eventually, nature was able to drive the score to it’s most natural environment when mistakes from the Colts started to stack, all with a heaping side of LeGarrette Blount to help drive it all home. Which leads me to wonder, when the Colts draft defensive players, do they make sure that they can’t tackle first? Haha, just kidding, the Colts only draft wide receivers. With the win, the Patriots continue, along with the Bengals, Broncos, Packers, and Panthers to be the only unbeaten teams through Week 6. I’d say half of those teams are mediocre and the other half deserve their record. I’ll let you figure out which team gets the 0.5 left over from that equation…

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