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I don’t have a lot of injury analysis for you in this one.  Just some quick hits and an amazing Tyler Eifert update.  Tyler Eifert missed last week’s game with a neck injury… Perhaps he was malingering so he could do this instead of playing on Sunday:

Okay, not that the picture was taken on Sunday.  I don’t think it was.  But look, this picture is just.. weird.  A grown man probably shouldn’t be sitting on Santa.  So I hope this had some tie in to an official appearance or some kind of charity benefit.  I wonder if his #NiceList refers to what he’s done for fantasy owners this year?  Jay, maybe you need to get in the holiday spirit and come out with a “Naughty/Nice” list for fantasy football this year.  You know, the list more commonly known as Bust/MVP.  I’m not saying it’s a good idea, I’m just saying it’s an idea.  Anyway…  Tyler Eifert (neck) was “limited” for practice Wednesday after he missed last week’s game. So that makes me think he’ll play this Sunday.  But they’ll probably want to be certain on this one so I wouldn’t be completely surprised if he missed.  But I think he’ll play.

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pinkdoug

It seems I can no longer avoid the pink elephant in the room. Doug Baldwin (63%). In the preseason I identified Doug as an ideal cheap buy in auction leagues. With an projection of about 167 points and a price tag of at most $2, his points per dollar (PPD) was through the roof. In snake drafts his ADP was about 120 (10th round). Through 12 games he currently has 180 points (1 point PPR). Over achieve much? In week 5 I ranked him as a top-20 receiver. And in weeks 11 and 12, I highlighted for his on field performances. The writing has been on the wall all season. And by wall, I mean my posts. How many of us missed it, or just plain ignored it. In the last four weeks specifically, Baldwin has been one of the top WR in the league. The stats don’t lie. During that span he has averaged 6 catches and 108 yards per game. He also has 6 touchdowns in those four games. Is it a coincidence that his performance has blossomed since Marshawn Lynch has been out of the lineup? I have no idea, but felt obligated to point it out. Can you hear me now?!!

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Sunday, Sunday. That’s what The Mamas and the Papas should have sang about. No one likes Mondays. Example A: Bengals vs Texans.

But Sunday was fun, as we saw crack take down Razzball’s Week 10 DFS League and take home $60. I finally stopped the cold streak, as I placed 12th, the final position that won. I’ll take it. That’s what DFS is all about. Also, our very own Matt Hayes finished second, winning $45. Congrats Matt, spend wisely! I would definitely buy Jay a bourbon with the winnings, even though he doesn’t write DFS articles. So what? A bourbon is a bourbon, and you should buy it for him. Let’s review Week 10 and look at crack‘s lineup and other highly-owned plays and see how they did!

Join myself, Jay, and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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It takes a lot to beat an opponent. Beating many? Even harder. No, we’re not talking hundreds or thousands of competitors, but when faced with the task of topping dozens of potential victors decision-making becomes all the more crucial. Luck drops so that wisdom can rise. There’s a proper description for that, but rather than write it out I thought I’d let ol’ President Dubya narrow it down to one word.

Eeeexactly. Strategery. And you’ll need a lot of it to win a 55-man league in DFS. Listen, fantasy football is filled with luck. In my completely uneducated opinion thrown about all willy-nilly, I’d presume around 54% of fantasy football is luck. However, there’s a reason that the same people continually compete in your leagues and rake in stacks through daily fantasy. Ingenuity. Resourcefulness. Persistence. Which, once again, is encompassed by the word: strategery (quit trying to auto-correct my spelling, damn it!).

Each week we offer a 55-man Razzball only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-12 finishers. Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the prize? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 11!

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What the heck just happened.  Smooth sailing on the ship of the S.S. Fantasy, and then, we hit the large iceberg known as the “injury”.  From a fellow owner of the some of the guys injured, like most of you, survival mode is kicking into high gear.  The news about Keenan Allen is particularly troubling, because I completely bought into Allen, drinking the Kool-aid preseason and basically owning him everywhere.  I even own him in the two-team league that I share with my mom.  Yeah it’s sad, but we share a league, but draft six teams a piece.  The winner gets a sundae at the local ice cream shop with unlimited toppings.  The league is fun, but not accepting new applicants!  So back to the land of Whale’s Vaginas and who in Sam hell will benefit from the pass happy attack of the Bolts.  The names are fairly well bantered around fantasy circles: Stevie Johnson and  Malcolm Floyd are the main beneficiaries of the unfortunate-ness that is the kidney injury to Keenan.  So what you are asking yourself is who to grab, who will be the main beneficiary and basically what the hell do you do with the void that is a WR2 that you now (and me) have.  Well, the good news is that in the sum of several 100 words, the answer or for lack of a phrase, the non-answer will pronounce itself like a lighthouse set in the middle of Iowa.  So hang out, get relaxed, and put on some comfy pants for the next 2-7 minutes, depending on reading level and we can talk this out in a group format.

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Divisional Playoffs - Green Bay Packers v San Franciso 49ers

In 2012, safety Donte Whitner said Colin Kaepernick’s nickname was Jafar from AladdinWorks for me. But Jafar was the villain. And Kaepernick is a hero. He led the 49ers to the Super Bowl in his first year as the starter. Ron Jaworski said, “I truly believe Colin Kaepernick could be one of the greatest quarterbacks ever.” Then things started to change. Defenses figured out the read-option. As his weaknesses were exposed, the criticism mounted. Trent Dilfer in 2013 said, “While Kaepernick remains an incredible player and an incredible athlete, his development as a passer has ‘plateaued’ this season, and he hasn’t made enough progress in his second season as a starter.” The hero was slowly turning into the villain.

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I think I have an obsession with stats, and I’m not sure if it is a good thing or a sickness. Every time I look at the numbers, I see more numbers. I’m currently in the early stages of beginning to learn about regression analysis. And by early stages, I mean that it’s a topic I’d really like to learn more about. I really should have paid attention in college instead of whatever it was I was doing the few times I actually showed up to class. Back to Fantasy Football. In the preseason, I talked about the upgrades to The Stats Machine (TSM) for this season. One of the biggest changes was the fact that opposing defenses will now be factored into offensive performances. This is still true, but will not go into effect until after Week 3. TSM needs at least three weeks of defensive statistics in order to generate defensive rankings. With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to our Week 1 results…

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ROAD-HOUSE

In 1989, James Dalton gave us three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. I bet most of you had no idea that Dalton’s first name was actually James. And for those of you that have no idea who Dalton is, shame on you! Close your browser, get yourself a six pack of brewskis and a bottle of Jack and watch Road House. Dalton, portrayed by the late Patrick Swayze, was one of the toughest, ass kicking dudes in movie history. Recruited by the owner of The Double Deuce, a rowdy dive bar in Missouri, Dalton moves from NYC to take over security and help clean up the violence that is destroying the bar. Dalton is a professional “cooler”, or bouncer for those of you less informed readers. Despite being able to handout a beatdown like it’s his job (which it is), Dalton doesn’t actually like violence. He has a degree in philosophy and practices thai chi. This, however, does not keep him from literally ripping Jimmy’s throat out with his bare hands. Bottom line, Road House is one bad ass film. From Jasper, Missouri we travel nearly 650 miles east to Cincinnati. From one Dalton to another. My lineup of waiver wire fodder is led at quarterback by The Red Rifle, aka Andy Dalton. No relation to James.

Here’s the complete lineup…

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Welp, there goes my supply of NyQuil. As your local (also only) Chargers fan, this essentially is the cherry on top of what could be considered, at best, a tumultuous offseason. Everything from Philip Rivers trade rumors, to keeping Donald Brown (why?), and even continuing reports that the Chargers are probably moving to Los Angeles wasn’t enough. Nope. Now, Antonio Gates has been suspended four games for PED use, because hey, why not?

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Indianapolis Colts v Arizona Cardinals

And by Black Hole, I mean “Heaven”, which is resoundingly considered as such in Oakland. It makes so much sense! After wondering a few days ago what actually happened to Trent Richardson, the Raiders wasted no time in trying to figure out if this once promising running back can actually produce something north of a 1-yard average run. Or be a better Maurice Jones-Drew. They signed him to a two-year incentive laden deal in what seems to be a natural match, and while I’m hesitant to think that this might change his future fantasy implications, I’d like to think that a change of scenery was needed here and that Richardson could end up being a productive back. Granted, production and Raiders aren’t exactly synonymous, but I want to give the benefit of the doubt here.

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Last week, I had the ALCS on the television as I was researching some fantasy fantasy football on my MacBook Pro, and something funny happened. My wife, who’s more of a Total Divas and House Hunters kind of viewer, looked up at the game and said “is that Philip Seymour Hoffman?” Without turning my head I knew exactly who she was talking about, and immediately starting laughing. While she knows that the inventor of the shart is no longer with us, I have to admit, the resemblance is a bit uncanny. And in case you haven’t figured it out, the Philip Seymour Hoffman impersonator I am referring to is none other than Buck Showalter…

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 i

I thought trading away Percy Harvin was going to solve all your problems? Well, I guess trading away one of your best weapons doesn’t exactly solve terrible play-calling, subpar offensive line play, and very un-special teams play. So, despite the faulty narrative that I’m sure will be thrown about, here we are, CONDITION CRIMSON RED, also the color of Tom Coughlin’s face. As was alluded to early yesterday, imagining an outcome such as this was a fools errand, but it wouldn’t have been the craziest thing to think that the Rams could pull off the upset. And while it took wild and boner inducing events (which is also my pet name for your mom) to take place, the impossible was suddenly possible, and the 2013 Super Bowl champions are now 3-3. Said events (we’ll call them “Cialis”) included a hilarious punt return where Tavon Austin lined up on the left side of the field for the return, and acted like he was about to catch the ball, which drew in the entire Seahawks special teams unit, cameraman in full tow, and then this happened…

ramshawksw7

Later in the game, with Seattle needing a big stop for another chance at the win, Tre Mason broke through for a first down on 3rd-and-1, icing the game right then and there, until he was stripped. The ball bounced forward, was covered by a Rams lineman, only to pop out again and be seemingly recovered by Seattle. Replays did show Richard Sherman on top of the ball for a moment, but “technically” there wasn’t enough to overturn the officials call which had rewarded the possession to the Rams. That’s two straight losses for Seattle, a team which is now sitting at .500 on the season. Look on the bright side Seahawks fans. After this third loss, the band wagon crowd should be displeased enough to go away. Not as effective as a meteor, but it’ll have to do.

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