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Mychal Rivera

Mike Honcho

Razzball’s AFC West Fantasy Preview

August 24, 2016 | 2016 Draft Strategy, 2016 Fantasy Football | 9 Comments

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AFC-WEST

So wait… You mean to tell me that we’re only a few weeks away from real, live concussion filled NFL action? Where did the time go? Anyway, for those of you not familiar with my work, which would include everyone not in my immediate family, I’m Mike Honcho and I’m usually pontificating on baseball this time of the year. However, it’s hard to say no to the persuasive ways of Unbreakable MB and Jay Wrong. They’re like the Razzball version of “Brazilian security guards” at a gas station at 6 A.M. – You just can’t say no! So here I am, ready to tell you how the AFC West will unfold in 2016. How will Denver cope without America’s favorite “Non-PED using” quarterback? Can Derek Carr take the next step and lead the Raiders to the postseason? Did Andy Reid serve his 15 hours of community service for habitual clock-management violations? Finally, can Phillip Rivers generate enough excitement for the dozens of Chargers fans in San Diego? Theses questions and more (well, not much more) will be answered below. I’ll list the teams in order of predicted finish and give you a few helpful nuggets to help you navigate the choppy waters of fantasy draft season. Join me, won’t you?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Son

Bear or Bull: The CW

December 15, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 39 Comments

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I hope I don’t get sued for using the CW logo. Who am I kidding? I’m sure they would appreciate the exposure to the four people that read this article. With that said, they have come a long way from their UPN/WB days. You know, that channel that gave us hits such as Homeboys in Outer Space, The Mullets and Platypus Man. To be fair, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a hit and I got my wrestling fix from WWE SmackDown.

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

2015 Rankings: Tight Ends

June 17, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Fantasy Football Rankings | 17 Comments

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Jay’s 2015 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | Rookies |

Kevin’s 2015 IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

Now we’re getting to the meat and potatoes of the fantasy rankings, perfect for the protein-starch diet which has netted me zero results. While last week’s ranking extravaganza with an opening salvo of kickers and defense was such a memorable experience, in that, it wasn’t, this week, we start getting serious. But not too serious, because we are talking about tight ends, more specifically, our tight ends, which probably needs less pants. Why? Because everything needs less pants. Think about it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

DraftKings: Pop A Kap In Dat GPP

December 26, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, DraftKings | 8 Comments

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I know, I need a bath now too. Here it is, week 17. The final slate of games and it’s actually a full one; no TNF or MNF or TNF on SN where the ‘S’ is for ‘Saturday’ which they can’t use because that’s for ‘Sunday Night Football’. Yup, 16 games ripe with intrigue and I lead off with talking Colin Kaepernick. I guess my new year’s resolution is to lose readers. WELP. I know it’s hard to get with the idea of this. Honestly, it’s hard to feel comfortable making the call for me too but here I am looking back on why I liked Russell Wilson last week and nothing has changed about the why. Both are QBs who can run and Arizona rarely leaves a spy on the backfield to stop that from happening and don’t look now but Kap has now rushed for over 40 yards in back to back games and rushed at least 7 times. Methinks the O-Co finally figured out that a Colin stuck in the pocket is a Colin wasted. Not like crunk wasted, more like ‘not used correctly’ wasted. It’s been a trying time for his seasonal owners. Trust me, I know, I suffered through him in one in a two QB league. Guess what? I picked up Kyle Orton and he never saw the light of day again for my team. But this is probably a Harbaugh swan song and I think he goes out and lets his guys do what they do and what Colin can do is run as showcased last week when he racked up 7/151/1 on the ground on his way to a 31.7 DK fantasy point night. What was the passing line you ask? Ehhhh…let’s not talk about that. The point is, his rushing game was worth 24.1 alone. I can’t say he’ll replicate but for a GPP go, I’m about to pop a Kap in dat and he has a cheap pairing partner that will also go under the radar…what, I ain’t tellin you now. This is the epic last DK post for fantasy football of the year, I’m gonna make you suffer. So strap in – or strap on, we won’t judge you – as we slide through this final go. So with no further ado, here it is: my final hot take on 2014 fantasy football DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
malamoney

Who Are These Guys, Week 15: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

December 10, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 47 Comments

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dailyshow
I wonder if Peyton Manning was going against himself in fantasy football last week? Less than 5 points from Peyton during the fantasy playoffs sounds like a fantasy football player’s worst nightmare. How many teams did the prince of Papa Johns let down? And why does he wear a helmet that’s 3 sizes too small? Speaking of 5 fantasy points, that’s the total number of combined points scored by LeSean McCoy and Alfred Morris. And while we’re putting together an all-star squad of undroppable players that scored less than 5 points, let’s add Demaryius Thomas, Josh Gordon and Jimmy Graham, who combined for 8.6 points. You’re sh*tting me, right? Those six studs put up a grand total of 18.52 points!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
malamoney

The Stats Machine, Week 11: My Favorite Marshawn

November 15, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 68 Comments

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most of you have never heard of nor seen an episode of the television sitcom My Favorite Martian from the mid 1960s. Who am I kidding, I was born in 1977 and barely know much about the show. I watched a random episode or two when I was much younger, and probably again about 10 years ago during a late night online poker tournament on PokerStars. Remember when it was legal to play online poker in the good old U.S of A.? Dem some good times. My Favorite Martian starred Ray Walston as Uncle Martin who was a human looking extraterrestrial from Mars that piloted a one-man spaceship that crashed near Los Angeles.  Tim O’Hara, played by Bill Bixby, discovered Martin and took him in as his roommate. The show centered around the two and their adventures as they kept Martin’s martian origin a secret. The first two seasons were filmed in black and white, while the third and final was in color.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Nordmeier

Waiver Wired, Week 11: They’re Baaaaack!

November 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 37 Comments

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This week’s waiver wire column is going to explore the returning player. The focus is on the players who are coming back off lengthy layoffs after injuries. Of course, we’ll still try to catch lightning in a bottle too and help your team that way. That said, let’s dive in.

First, let’s talk about Adrian Peterson. He’s not coming back from an injury, but from a suspension… or so we hope. There is going to be some legal wrangling this week over whether or not Peterson can come back to play this season or not, so it will need time to play out. Hopefully a decision gets made this week to give us some clarity. Even if he’s not 100% ready to go, you need to stash him on your roster. If nothing else, ensure that other owners don’t get their hands on him. With his talents and a plush schedule, Peterson could be the ultimate shot-in-the-arm add to any fantasy team. If he doesn’t pan out, you can toss him back and try again. If it does, you have fantasy gold. The thing to keep in mind is there is some internal strife within the Vikings front office about whether or not to bring him back. Minnesota is 4-5 and three games behind 7-2 Detroit for the top spot in the NFC North. Sure, there are other factors at play, but it is worth giving consideration to adding AP. I’ve been picking him up much as in the same way it’s time to get another guy in the same boat.

That other guy is Cleveland wide receiver Josh Gordon. It’s worth checking the wire to see if the dynamic wide receiver is there. He would make awesome trade bait if you can pick him up. Things set up nicely for Gordon with his schedule (HOU, ATL, BUF, IND, CIN, CAR, BAL) and that matchup against Carolina on championship week is inviting. We saw Mark Sanchez abuse the Carolina defense last night and Gordon could go nuts.

Realistically, it would be difficult to see either of them being available on the waiver wire but we mention them anyways. Take a second and scan anyways. Let’s go to reality now.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jennifer

Hit it or Quit it, Week 11: Whoa Here She Comes, She’s a Maneater

November 11, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 41 Comments

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Well, well, well, here we are again my lovelies, trudging on into Week 11 of the 2014 Fantasy Football season.  As we near the playoffs, one thing is certain, our hooptied rosters are still plugging along like the good jalopies they are, and the Dominatrix-style punishments we endure week after week are nearing an end.  Thankfully, unlike that Dominatrix, some of you don’t have to pay for this punishment, but unfortunately, there is no safe word.  So take it like the good sex slaves you are.  On another note, the Fantasy Gods have been generous with yours truly this past week, as I managed to squeeze out a solid 4-2 with my teams.  Hell, even the stalker living in the bushes outside of my house has started to watch me sleeping through my window at night again.  Ah, yes, all feels right with the universe.  It is probably because I am completely and utterly satiated on the man souls my “Black Widow Curse” claimed this past week.  Hey, Hall and Oates warned you… “watch out boys, she’ll chew you up.”  All this time I have been fighting it, but in reality, giving in and embracing it for all of its man-soul chewing glory satisfies me more than any piece of chocolate, depraved sexual fantasy of Jordan Cameron ever has.  So, as we march ever onward, follow me, my lovelies, into Week 11’s episode of Hit it or Quit it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
malamoney

The Stats Machine, Week 10: Taste the Rainbow

November 8, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 25 Comments

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About a week ago, all the buzz in Seattle was about how the decision makers had grown tired of Marshawn Lynch’s antics and that they were ready to chase to him out of town with pitchforks. Apparently, Lynch has a very tense relationship with head coach Pete Carroll and they have little to no communication. You’re kidding me, right? Those two seem like they’d be two peas in a pod. I just had a great idea for a reality show. Lynch and Carroll have to live together in a college dorm room! Every time Pete comes back to their room Marshawn has one of Pete’s ties around the doorknob. Why would Lynch want to be bothered with his head coach when he could care less about the nation’s president? Lynch’s decision to be a “no show” to the team’s Super Bowl victory celebration at the White House did not go over well with many. Sorry Obama, but Marshawn had better things to do than pay you a visit…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
waterloo

Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 10: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

November 8, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 41 Comments

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When a starting quarterback goes down for a team, it’s usually catastrophic.  Sure, you’ll have your Kurt Warner/Trent Green and Tom Brady/Drew Bledsoe stories, but more often than naught, it means a big blow to the team.  That’s not the case for the Philadelphia Eagles.  Sure, no one wants to see anyone get hurt, but this is fantasy, baby.  It happens, and you look for the new shiny toy to come in and lead you on a run to the championship.

This week, that new toy is Mark Sanchez.  Yes, that Mark Sanchez.  The butt-fumbling, hot dog eating, former quarterback of the New York Jets.  With a fractured collarbone, Eagles’ quarterback Nick Foles is expected to miss quite a bit of time.  For fantasy and real life purposes, that’s perfectly fine.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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